ToxicRelationships

The river current was so strong it dragged the cow the moment she leaned in to take a sip of water.

And when I saw that image, I laughed.

Like… really laughed.

Because why would the cow even put herself in that situation?

Why would she walk right up to something so obviously powerful, so clearly dangerous, and think, “Yeah… this feels safe. Let me just get a little closer.”

And then it hit me.

I am that cow.

Not metaphorically in a cute, poetic way.

No. Fully. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Ungyngily.

I am that cow.

Because I have stood at the edge of things I knew could hurt me.

Things that already showed me their strength. Their unpredictability. Their ability to pull me under.

And I still leaned in.

Not because I didn’t know better.

But because I was thirsty.

Thirsty for connection.

For attention.

For softness.

For something that felt like a spark in a life that sometimes feels… quiet in the wrong ways.

And sometimes, when you’re that kind of thirsty, you convince yourself that you can control the current.

That if you just stay close enough to the edge…

If you don’t go too deep…

If you just take a quick sip…

You’ll be fine.

But currents don’t negotiate.

They don’t care how aware you are.

They don’t pause because you had good intentions.

They don’t say, “Oh, you’ve been through a lot? Let me go easy on you.”

They just pull.

And suddenly you’re not sipping anymore.

You’re being dragged.

And the scariest part?

It’s not even the first time.

That’s the part no one talks about.

Because at some point, you stop asking,

“Why is this happening to me?”

And you start asking,

“Why do I keep walking back to the river?”

Why do I keep choosing things that feel familiar but unsafe?

Why do I keep mistaking intensity for connection?

Why do I keep hoping this time will be different… when the current feels exactly the same?

And here’s the truth I’m still learning:

It’s not because I’m weak.

It’s because I’ve been thirsty for a long time.

And when you’ve been emotionally dehydrated…

even dangerous water starts to look like relief.

But I’m learning something new now.

I don’t need to fight the current to prove I’m strong.

I don’t need to survive another pull to prove I can handle it.

I just… need to stop going so close to the edge.

To pause.

To ask myself, “Is this water safe?”

Not just, “Does this look good right now?”

Because not everything that feels like a spark is meant to warm you.

Some things are just there to burn.

So yeah…

I laughed at that cow.

But now?

I get her.

And maybe the goal isn’t to never be her again.

Maybe the goal is to recognize the river sooner…

take a step back…

and finally choose water that doesn’t try to take you with it.

#adhdawareness #healingjourney #selfawareness #emotionalhealing #ToxicRelationships #traumabond #Breakthecycle #ADHDLife #neurodivergent #adhdawareness #Autism

This is from the author:

Are you in a relationship with a narcissist?

• Do you feel that when you are talking, your partner is never listening?
• Does your partner make promises, only to betray your trust repeatedly?
• Do you often feel disappointed and doubt yourself constantly?
• Is your partner controlling, manipulative, or just plain mean?
• Have you read every relationship book out there, practiced your communication skills, and still feel unheard or neglected?
• Is your partner pretty on the outside but empty on the inside?
• SHOULD YOU STAY OR SHOULD YOU GO?

Should I stay or should I go? Is a guidebook and a reality check. This honest survival manual is not predicated on false hope, forgiveness, “communication skills”—or the idea that the beast can become a prince. This is a book that breaks down what narcissistic people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.

Whether you’re currently in a relationship with a narcissist or recovering from being in a relationship with a narcissist, this book will lead to understanding, recovery and healing.

#NarcissisticAbuse #ShouldIStayorShouldIGo #FindingRecovery #Healing #ToxicRelationships #Selfhelpbooks #SupportandRecovery #Loveyourselfmore

I believe that mental health is one of, if not THE, most important things we as humans need to protect and nurture constantly. We talk so much about toxic relationships, but why don’t we talk more about the toxic workplace? If we’re spending 40+ hours a week in an environment that makes us feel less than, angry, anxious, depressed or hopeless, why do we continue? For the paycheck that is almost always less than we thought it would be? I’m in a toxic work environment right now and have to decide which I value more: my mental health or the change in my pocket. Have you ever been in a toxic workplace?

#anxious #Toxic #Relationships #ToxicRelationships #Depression #Work #MentalHealth

I’ve lost a lot this past year. Abusive marriage, friendships I thought would last, maybe my job, my self-esteem...so many things. But I’ve gained a completely new and stronger self. So I’ll take this as a win instead of a loss. And I hope you also can find hope in the messiness of life. 🌻