People should not be able to just use and abuse you while taking you for granted. They often say they’re going to pay you back when you aren’t even asking for anything in return. I guess this kind of makes me feel like being alone is the ultimate resort as opposed to a beat up pillow top mattress. I’m not #narcissistic , but personalities can be terribly #colorful , #compulsive , and #Complex . Like I have a #Bigheart . When I’m at work, I feel extremely welcoming and hospitable. I also have social anxiety along with cardiomyopathy, and the best way that I’ve been coping have not been the best. I quit my #Workout routine because of how overwhelming things got. In March, I suffered a massive #PanicAttack that led to a fluid buildup in my lungs and I’ve been trying to get better since. Going #Backtowork made me feel frightened because on top of my #BPD , I often feel I’m not useful or too useful. Not everyone deserves to be taken in and showered with #hospitality . I feel like that only makes me seem #hypocritical . On top of that, I’m battling #Addiction and #Depression .