deadinside

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The kids are staying home again… which means no quiet time for me today. And after a shit 3 days, too! How can this get any worse??

Why?! JUST FUCKING WHY?! I ALREADY HAD A SHIT 3 DAYS?! CAN THIS WEEK PLEASE GET ANY BETTER?! AND THE WEEKEND’S JUST USUALLY SHIT, TOO BECAUSE OF NO QUIET TIME! Just fucking great.

#sad #deadinside #Anxiety #Autism #Justpleasegivemeagooddayalready

Can you medicate me?

Can you feel my pulse?

I am too far to find me

I am too numb to feel these broken bones

Staring from the outside

All your ignorance

Makes it hard to see

Beneath my skin I fight a war within

I fight a war within

If these scars could speak

You would hear my hell

And all the lies I use to save myself

If these scars could speak

You would know my pain

And all the demons hiding in my rage

If these scars could speak

All the stigma feeding

It sucks the life from me

Now I'm suffocating

All your expectations drowning me

Walls are closing in now

How will I survive?

Is it really over?

Tell me, will I make it through the night?

Will I make it through the night?

Can you hear them

Will you listen?

Can you hear them

Inside of my head...?

I fight a war within

Will I make it through the night?
#Depression #FeelngAlone #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #donefighting #sickandtired #PTSD #Anxiety #Nofightleft #deadinside #DontFeelAlive #TheseThoughtsWontLetMeSleep #WillThisPainEverEnd

I feel as though I’ve been depressed for a couple of weeks now because of all the issues that are going on in my life and I had to just turn off my give a shit button because it would’ve been too much.
So I’m off from work today, and I had all these intentions of getting things caught up.
Yet here I sit, almost 1 PM, and haven’t done anything but sit on my phone and drink coffee.
And you know what? I don’t care.
I’ve giving myself permission to blow this whole day off if I feel like it.
Does anyone else ever get like this?

I have been having a depressive episode for over a month. I grew up this way, but now that I had actually known what is was to feel joy, to actually be excited about something without anxiety, I miss it. I feel dead inside. Things I know I’ve enjoyed do nothing now. I keep doing them so maybe it will lift me a little. My body is heavy and hard to move. I’m at work but I want to crawl back in bed and never leave. Just wanted to share. If you feel like I do, you are not alone!

i just want to be dead. im sick and tired of everything. i'm done fighting. no one can understand what i've been going through. everyone pity me and my family thinks im crazy; im fucking sick of that. i just wanna rest forever. #Depression #Anxiety #unsaidthoughts #deadinside

I think I have hit my limit. I’m exhausted in all fronts, I feel utterly and completely empty. I feel pretty broken inside. There feels like there’s no safe space, not even a place to hide. I wouldn’t mind if the ground swallowed me up at this moment. I’m just about at the point where I think that if I tell myself long enough to just give up on the hopes that I have, that maybe being numb to it all would make it all easier to deal with. Even though I shouldn’t, I just want to push everyone out so that I could just “be” for once. Every traumatic experience up to this point has came to the head of it all and I’m losing faith in people. I’m just really, really tired. #MentalHealth #Emptiness #Traumatized #Tiredofbeingtired #FeelingEmpty #feelingaloneandlost #Hoplessness #losinghopelosingstrength #deadinside

I was abused by both my grandfather (now dead) and a cousin and it’s completely fucked my life. I don’t think like other people, I’m not normal and even when I try and do something about it, it doesn’t change and I’m still an oddball freak. Medicine doesn’t help, counselling doesn’t help, I’m swimming against the tide and I’m drowning and I want to let go. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but even if I did nothing to deserve it, that brings me no comfort. Nothing brings me comfort, or joy, or even purpose anymore, and I’m now realising that’s the way it’s always going to be, no matter what I try and do to help myself.

You ever get the overwhelming feeling of dead inside. Nothing makes you happy. You want to be alone, but not alone. Your soul feels gone. There is a hole in your chest. All the past mistakes you’ve made are flashing before your eyes. You want to die, but not at the same tine. You want someone to hold you, but you don’t know how to ask. Being depressed, what I realized, isn’t just being sad anymore, it’s feeling an overwhelming amount of emptiness and dead inside. I feel like a zombie just wanting to lie down to rest. Nothing seems to get better. Nothing seems comfortable. Nothing seems easy. It feels like you’re getting in your own way. You just feel nothing... I just feel nothing and I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worse enemy anymore. People who joke about this are lucky because the actual pain is hell. #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #Depression #deadinside #MentalHealth #aloneinlife #Anxiety #EmptyInside