Fibromyalgiabattle

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    CRPS - What kind of doctor is best?

    Pain doctor is a joke, asked about all the muscle cramps in that foot/leg said drink more water, has no clue what CRPS is or what is does to me. Why do I need a separated doctor for muscle cramps? I am so frustrated I stopped going! I do not get enough relief from pain meds to justify the cost. #CRPSWarrior #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrometreatm #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Complex #Fibromyalgiabattle

    6 comments
    Post

    Question...?

    Have you ever stopped to think about who you were before the laundry list of diagnoses? I have and still yet I see nothing. I don't see myself struggling to breathe, walk, talk, or even get out of the bed. My therapist, the second good one since 6 years ago, doesn't understand how I can't remember memories before the age of 14. He says it's interesting...I say who does that? Which Me remembers and when will she clue me in and not just with these flashes? Have you ever wondered if you could stay in your safe place and not have to live in the world? I have because living in this world, as an adult is scary and stressful. Question...? Who are you today? Idk yet...am I supposed to define myself through the tasks I'm supposed to do (even when I'm having a flareup and have been swollen for over a month, it hurts to even move...burns at my ankles when they have to bend to go down the stairs and meds seem to not work for me anymore)? The jobs I used to have (since medical/mental won't let me keep a career...I was a Case Manager..I used to help people [they magically progressed] even though I couldn't help myself...but now I have to focus on me..whatever that means because it sucks to have to look/work inward while expressing out)? Do I classify myself as "Mom" because my son depends on me (though he's been the one taking the dog out and bringing me cereal to my room and also helping me up after I choose to sit down somewhere..smh...it's embarrassing to say the least but I'm grateful to be raising this young man right) to instill value and morals and to follow God and treat people well even if other people don't do it...Yep I'm Mom but what else? Am I the woman who it seems like every few months gets another diagnosis? S/O to my Me's for looking after me all these years because without them, I'd surely be dead. I'm making sure yall just don't replay the bad stuff by finding ways to express yourselves. Who are we after self-discovery and peace from our Father [God]? We are kind. We are nurturing. We are caring. We are good even when people don't think so. We also can flip that switch, when triggered, even when/how someone phrases their words...written or on paper. We don't need validation anymore from anyone else but selves. Sometimes it's like a board meeting in my head lbvs however whatever works out even if I was asleep. We are....We can own us and the crap we may recklessly get into...nope we've survivors not victims even though we've been hurt [sometimes we say damaged]. We are strong even when weak. We are not the doormat nor any garbage that've found it's way to the ground. We are capable. We are alive. We are diamonds...even through the ashes...we shine.  #Depression   #MajorDepressiveDisorder   #PTSD   #DissociativeIdentityDisorder   #GeneralAnxietyDisorder   #SocialAnxiety   #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder   #Fibromyalgiabattle #sunallergy #weshine   #ChronicIllness   #Thoughts   #Therapy   #question   #GodInTheMidstOfSuffering   #Godislove #god #notlazy

    2 comments
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    #Fibromyalgiabattle

    I started having pains in my body, asthma attacks, anxiety, depression, stomach pains, ulcer, migraine eleven years ago.
    It got worse as time went on, my parents would abuse me emotionally everyday. They said i was hiding behind my health, shout at me when i can work at my siblings pace, i was admitted atleast twice every month
    My teachers in high school then, said all sort of trash to me, getting home i had to face my parents trouble.
    Things didnt get better, said i was a burden, that i was pretending so i wont work, were never proud of me no matter how i tried. I would cry myself to sleep everynight. Doctors didn't have answers, they kept saying you have malaria, infection or peptic ulcer. Some days they just admit but dnt have an answer for what they are treating me for.
    During my University days, I studied civil engineering but i blamed myself, spent 3/4 of my uni at the hospital. Yet my father looked at me with disgust that why didnt i finish with a first class. I wrote my finals in pain, read at the hospital.
    Two years ago, A doctor finally had answers to my health. He told me i had fibromyalgia after suffering from emotional trauma, depression, constant shaming, stress. My parents refused, saying that God forbid. I cried everyday but my parents said you need to exercise, you need to work, that i just wanted them to say sorry and get their attention
    My junior sister had to fight for me, i was too tired and exhausted to fight them any longer.
    Finally, i was properly diagnosed with fibromyalgia, asthma and depression last year August/September.
    Unfortunately things had gone bad. The Rheumatologist said that my fibromyalgia is the worst case he had seen. I went for my masters in south Africa but things has gone terribly bad.
    I still need answers, but they keep saying there is nothing they can do. My legs shakes uncontrollable, i cant even stand for 5 -10 minutes without a severe pain. It has affected my studiea badly.
    My parents still dnt understand and they are still in denial.
    I just wanted to pour out my mind. Thank you for listening #FibromyalgiaDiagnosis

    3 comments
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    how do you get out of the stuck

    I have had a terrible day of fibromyalgia flare up and severe anxiety. I havnt been able to leave my house. the thought of leaving the house makes me so scared and anxious that I have started being sick. I'm shiver, shakey and sometimes it gets so much with so many thoughts running through my head I just want to bang it against a wall.
    its it's all so exhausting . I just sat on the sofa watching tv with my weighted blanket which seemed to be the only thing that calms me down.

    does anyone have any tips. I'm really struggling to get out of this stuck place.

    #Fibromyalgia #Fibromyalgia #FibroFog #fibrolifefighting #fibromyalgiafatigue #FibromyalgiaSucks #fibromyalgiatriggers #fibromyalgiaflareup #Fibromyalgiabattle

    2 comments
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    I quit Lyrica (pregabalin)

    So yeah I stopped taking it like 2 weeks ago. I was experiencing the common symptoms of withdrawal was very uncomfortable but was something I expected to happen. The reason that I quit it is that I still don't have a medical ensure that can cover my needs since I move to NY, anyway I gader my medical records in case needed, I took antidepressants and sleeping pills I'm scared I can run out of medication soon and have even a bigger problem.
    Hope all can be resolved soon. #FibromyalgiaSucks #moving #Fibromyalgiabattle

    1 comment
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    Fibromyalgia and Isolation

    I’ve just gotten back home from a friend’s birthday celebration. I’ve been doing my best to pace my activity and so of course I left early whilst all my friends continued to socialise. Each time I am amongst able-bodied people I feel isolated, alone and out of place. My friends try not to make me feel this way but as my pain throughout the social gathering creeps in and completely takes over my thoughts I can’t help but feel alone in my fibromyalgia journey.

    I am so depressed and really can’t see the point of looking to the “brighter side” of things when I believe there is nothing to look forward to anymore. I feel like I have completely lost my identity as a charismatic, strong young woman (age 23) and will never get her back.

    #CheckInWithMe #Fibromyalgia #Depression #ChronicPain #Chronicpainstruggle #Nohope #Fibromyalgiabattle

    9 comments
    Post

    #Fibromyalgiabattle

    This is so debilitating, depressing and consuming,I feel so depressed and with no desire for anything even living because this is no life 🥵

    4 comments