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Solo Xmas—what do I say? #CheckInWithMe

I have been doing holidays solo the last few years due to an intentional choice to not communicate with my toxic family. It also feels awkward to be around other people’s families. But people who know me are kind and invite me to join in their celebrations. How do I respond to a) not lie and b) not give to much details so they’re not concerned… #CheckInWithMe #holidayblues #alone

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Here I am. Invited by the founder, reluctant yet holding on to a small piece of hope to meet and engage genuinly with real humans wherever you are. I was an active younger woman, now permanently disabled and fighting to not lose my Tigger mindset in my Eeyore body. I have few friends and emigrated to a new country 19 years ago, that is I am from the USA and live in Sweden. I am a writer, a mother of a young adult transitioning from m2f and have had very unhealthy relatonships with my biological parents both as a child and as an adult. I have extreme anxiety, am an empath, I have been feeling others emotions and trying to help them since I was a very litte child. I love animals, have two bunnies and I am mostly writing on my blog or laying on the sofa by the fire or in bed with a netflix film. I am sad that I still can't get passed the hurdles which may lead me to a healthier self image. I don't really know how to begin, so I will end.#Lonliness #Anxiety #ChronicPainSyndrome #Depression #physicalabuse #mentalabuse #SexualAbuse #holidayblues

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Christmas decorations: dream or nightmare?

Some people LOVE Christmas. They love the music, they love decorating, they love gifts, they love all of it. For others this time of year is a painful and stressful time and the last thing we want is a visual reminder of the festivities.

I admit, I'm a bit of a Scrooge this time of year, although the cute kitty in this photo made me smile. I've tried to make decorating more personal by incorporating themed decorations and creating rituals, but I still find it tedious and not joyful.

Which camp do you belong to? Do you love decorating for Christmas or is it a nightmare?

#Trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #Christmas #holidayblues

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Holiday Blues and lonliness

There have been many posts that have stated that quite a few people will not celebrate the holidays due to the holiday blues and a host of a myriad of factors. One of them is loneliness because of depression. Do me a favor, reach out to someone who may be alone or do not have a tribe of friends or the positivity to spend with family (family can be toxic)? Also, some people are social isolated, have social anxiety, have mental conditions, in quarantine, working, etc. Do me a favor, reach out and check in on folks? #Depression #SocialAnxiety #holidayblues #social isolation #quarantine

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Good morning, have a blessed day.#TheMighty #Faith #god

During the holidays season. Stop being feeling #holidayblues . Stop being upset because you don't do this or have that. Stop thinking you have to do somethings in order make the Christmas season perfuct; Just do what you like and brings you joy. Try being Thankful for what you do have., You have your health. You have a job and food to eat. You have a house to live. You should feel blessed. That's all you need. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Remmeber the true meaning for the season, #jeuseisthereason

Sure i watch vlogmess videos and i roll my eyes at times. They just lok so happy and seem so perfuct. They have everything. The family matching PJS is something i glad my mo never forced. ha haha. You don't see the stree of the hoilday in the videos. So sometimes it seems fake to me. #Depression

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How are you holding up? #TRD #TreatmentresistantDepression #holidayblues #SocialAnxiety

Have you recovered from Thanksgiving yet? Are you still surrounded by family and friends?
I am. And it’s becoming more difficult to hide my feelings. I hope you’re doing better than me. 🤦🏽‍♀️


Isolation and chronic illness #ChronicIllness #holidayblues #POTS #TBI #PCS #Endometriosis #EDS

I am so tired of being chronically ill. My ears hurt right now because I need to cry but I can't. I am isolated enough already and the holidays are coming...which for me means even more isolation due to the state of my health right now. My husband will go to holiday events and see his family. He may take the kids to see them. I will stay home and miss out and be hypervigilant that my family will show up and try to harm me. I will panic and try not to worry that all of us will get sick from exposure to germs from all the people visiting.

But what's more is the topic of my social world....or more the lack of it.

Right now what is on my mind is the nature of my social world. I get so tired of always being the one reaching out. Always being the one to give and check in with people, but rarely being the one checked on or reached out to. It truly sucks. All of my life I have been the "outcast" the "loner" and the one who doesn't have friends. It's absolutely exhausting to be this isolated and this alone when all you want is someone to just be there.

I haven't spent quality time with a healthy good friend in over 2 years. The last time I had some sort of social interaction it was when I had a couple times where random mom's whom I am not close to have offered to come stop by with their kids for playdates so my kids could be with friends. The hard part of these get togethers is that I don't actually consider these people to be good friends. While I could work to get to know them....what happened is that I discovered quickly that they aren't trustworthy healthy people I can be myself with. We ended up just "staring" at each other and making awkward small talk.

I just want a good friend to spend time with....just once. I don't want someone to tell me to count my blessings; flood me with toxic positivity; or tell me I should be glad to have x,y, or z....I am well aware of what I do have and am so glad for what I's what I don't that is draining on my mental health. Humans are social beings. We are meant for community. And I need some. It's just not safe right now, and I am lacking emotionally and mentally healthy community members.

Can't wait for the holidays to be over. I will enjoy the snuggles with my kids and try to ignore the pressure of all of the gatherings and hope these emotional stirrings end soon.


Holiday Triggers

A good friend with MDD is already responding to the endless holiday commercials that come on television and radio. I see her sinking into a darker depression and don’t know how to help her. From Thanksgiving through New Years Day, you cannot escape the pictures of families and friends having fun. When you are alone and only have wonderful memories of past celebrations, when family members have passed away, those opportunities no longer exist. What do Mighty members do to protect themselves from this happy hype? #holidayblues

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November is here! #november #Thoughts

November is here and I’m floored. Where has the time gone! I always struggle during this time of year. Do you? How do you struggle? How do you cope? #TRD #TreatmentresistantDepression #SeasonalAffectiveDisorder #holidayblues #CopingTips