So I've been trying to pull myself out the depression, that comes after a majorly triggering and retraumatising 6months. I've been doing this via 'Positive Proactivity' setting up an activity a day that I can get out of bed and aim for..
I had to flee my local area, so now I'm trying to get to know people and build a support network in a different county, it's challenging in covid-times.
it's meant jumping head first into as many support groups, causes, art projects and charities I can engage with..
I'm really proud of myself for making such leaps from not being able to get out of bed (2weeks ago) to volunteering, reaching out for personal support at the same time as making a new social group.
The only issue is pushing myself so hard has caused my fibromyalgia to flare, I had kidney failure 3months ago and I need to remember I'm still recovering from that to!
I struggle to find the balance between body and mind.
I did change my plans an not go badger watching tonight, I'm learning to let people know and stop before I push myself into a full on flare up and a month of being bedridden.. thats progress for me!
I should be proud of myself ive achieved so much in the last 10days!
Yet I find im still kicking myself a bit that I pushed myself into a flare up.. I always take it like a failure when I have a flare up, it's like apart of me still subconsciously sees my fibro as a 'weakness' or a personal failure. I'm learning that is not true, it's just a question of balance!
#BipolarDepression #CPTSD #childhoodptsd #Fibromyaliga #fibroflares #ChronicPainSyndrome #KidneyDisease #Survivor #balance #Positivity