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    The rain is here

    People may get depressed during the winter months because of the weather. For the past several years in my part of California we have been in a drought so it would make me sad knowing the lakes and rivers would be dry in the summer. Well The Rains are here and I'm so happy to see this because with anticipated snow also we may get out of our drought situation.🌄🙂🙂🙂🌻#ChronicPain #neurogenicmuscleatrophy #spinaltrauma #Depression #Rain

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    World, I Want To Get Better

    It’s been raining most of the weekend in England. After a week spent in hospital, and 7 weeks from my first A&E trip for ‘concerning’ heart waves, my view is currently limited to my bedroom window. My “Room Without A View” as I’ve been calling it.

    Rain actually makes me feel better mentally. I feel comforted when the world outside matches the bleakness of my insides. Where “muggles” dream of beach escapes, I hold in my heart a Walden worthy longing to escape to countryside cottages with wood burning stoves, mismatched mugs and cutlery, surrounded by woodlands and heaths. Give me the tumult of the Brontë sisters as opposed to suffocating heat any day.

    All this preamble serves to bring me back to my original point; the rain. More specially I have had this song by the immensely talented Sia stuck in my head for days. The song is significant in it’s own right. But with a few tweaks, I think it is all the more meaningful to the chronically ill. I offer it up to you now in the hope that it helps to convey something of what our lived experience is like. And perhaps some of our shared fears about what life may not hold in stall for us all.

    I hope you enjoy it. I send with it gentle hugs, comforting light, and quaint little spoons ✨

    World, I want to be better

    I want my life to matter

    I am afraid I have no purpose here

    I watch the news on TV

    I am abandoned daily

    I am afraid you don’t see the real me

    And the rain it falls, rain it falls

    Drowning the seeds of love and hope, love and hope

    I don’t want to stay here, stuck in the weeds

    I feel alone in all this

    I’m not faking, I promise

    Bed bound, I can’t do anything

    I feel alone in all this

    I’m really trying, I promise

    I wish I had people standing together with me

    Maybe then I could do anything

    World, I want to be better

    I want my life to matter

    Without your help I have no purpose here

    Have you the courage to change?

    Change and see the real me

    Please don’t leave me here, stuck in the weeds

    Have the courage to change

    Change the way you see me, today.

    #ChronicIllness #Poetry #Sia #Doyouseemenow

    #Rain #bedbound #thisismetrying #Spoonies

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    Sunrise from California

    Maybe we will actually get some rain #sunrise ,#morning ,#Rain ,#Beauty ,
    #chronic pain, #Sarcoidosis , #multiple health challenges,

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    Good rainy day. #Rain #Selfcare #relax

    It’s super rainy where I am right now but I’m actually enjoying every moment of it. I used to dread rainy days because they used to affect my mood so heavily. Now I look forward to the rain because I seem to be so much more productive when it’s dreary outside. My mind has been racing 1000 mph anyway because I’m manic so the “slow down” that the rain brings is much needed. I still look forward to the sunshine but I’m the meantime this rain is treating me so well. I sure do hope that everyone else is having a good day too.🙃 #Happiness #peace #BipolarDepression #Mania

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    You don’t have to be positive. You don’t have to feel guilty about fear, sadness or anger. You don’t stop the rain by telling it to stop. Sometimes you just have to let it pour, let it soak you to your skin. It never rains forever. And know that, however wet you get, you are not the rain. You are not the bad feelings in your head. You are the person “experiencing” the storm. The storm may knock you off your feet, but you will stand again. Hold On. - Matt Haig

    #thecomfortbook #MattHaig #Rain #HoldOn #encouragement #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Hope #HSP

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    First rains here. #redwoods #Rain #hygge

    been raining out. still don’t feel like talking with people or texting even.

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    #Rain = Pain

    It’s going to rain all week here. I’ve known it for a couple of weeks due to the way my pain level has risen.

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    First Thundershower of the Season #pluviophile #Rain #thunder #lightning #poe

    It's 10:33pm, 4 degrees Centigrade and the first thundershower of Spring has finally rolled into town. While Winter was mild this year, it is always long and substitutes silent dumpings of snow with which to contend rather a proper raucous rainstorm. I'm out on the verandah, sitting in darkness with a blanket on my lap, nose and ears nipped at by the chill night air, reading some Poe. Can there be a better soundtrack or theatre for Poe than the plump raindrops bursting all around, the gorged creek babbling, the house foundation shuddering, the blasts of light to remind me there is a real World, with real power, behind the reality we've devised?


    It's raining. The more it pours the more my heart feels that missing jigsaw puzzle. For over the years I have this pain, longing for someone whenever it rains. It's funny to feel this troubling pain in my heart. Something's missing and I can't even pinpoint what is.

    While my sister afraid of the rain, I hate it. The rain makes me go wondering, it sometimes makes me question who am I. I felt this hole in my heart again, I'm very sentimental over little things but the rain makes me more of lost than emotional.

    I was 7 when I first felt this, it's raining pretty hard that day and I was looking for a figure of a man that got lost in the middle of the pouring rain. Then it hit me I got lost along the figure of a stranger. He's not someone I know but I felt this feeling like somehow I've meet him somewhere. I felt so lost and the next thing is that I found myself crying silently. Since then, whenever it rains my heart felt so lost, wondering where this longing came from. It's the kind of feeling that takes me far away. The kind of feeling that makes me realize that I am sad. The same feeling that makes me numb.

    Funny rain really is sentimental. I know for a fact that I am not alone to feel this kind of longing whenever it rains. While it rains, some feels more dead, sad and alone. Some thinks rain is the way of God crying for us, sympathizing for the loss, some just felt like its the heaven conspiring for broken hearts. To farmers rain is a blessing for crops, and to children rain is a beautiful experience and I had that kind of experience with rain too, a time where I can enjoy a fresh shower bath in the road, I enjoyed it to my hearts content while I'm at it but the moment I stop I eventually feel the raging pain in my head. That's the second reason while I hate the rain.
    Rain is not my cup of tea, but it's a natural phenomenon.

    I was somewhere in pampanga when it started raining. It's 4 in the afternoon, I was ready to go home from an 8 hours work. I was with this particular person when the rain started pouring, I'm not minding it since I could easily take a bath when I'm home. Not a moment later I stopped to look for some shed but this someone offered me his umbrella and walked freely in the rain, he was humming, and he's feeling the droplets of the rain, he spoke that the universe was conspiring with his broken heart then he faced me, there and then I remembered the man who got lost in the rain, somehow I feel the kind of familiarity. Then he told me how much the rain means to him.
    " it made me feel alive pol." somehow along with the uncertainties between longing and tiredness, I felt that too.

    #Rain &anxiety