Love

About this time 4 years ago, I was in my 3rd residential treatment center in 4 years. I was tired of fighting, fighting both my mind and my body. I didn't want to hurt anymore, and I wasn't going to come home still sick. It was in this setting that I got this weird feeling whenever a particular staff member was around, and I didn't know what was going on, but I wanted to be close to her. I knew that wasn't okay, and I never did anything improper, but it started me on a path of rediscovering who I truly was. On this unexpected side journey, I had to work backwards to figure things out. I was straight(so I thought), coming up on my 30th anniversary, but digging into it, I realized how miserable I had been for most of it. I slept in a separate room, and I considered my husband more of a roommate than a spouse. I have to keep pulling out the weeds and poisonous vines of religious, social, and familial indoctrination, realizing that I got married because it's what good christian girls do. Under the weight of those restrictive binds, I realize that trauma also played a part, teaching me from a very young age that sex=love, and I wanted to be loved so badly. Finally, after intensely working to unbury the door that had kept me trapped for 34 years, I was able to walk free from that prison, reclaiming my authentic self as a lesbian. I faced some harsh push back, especially from my son, who wouldn't let me see my granddaughters for a while. I stayed true to myself though, because I was DONE being who others defined me as, I had to live as myself to love myself. During the process of working through my transformation, I frequently expressed my metamorphosis through poems. I'd like to share one of that's okay, and hope that it touches someone who is walking where I've already been.
I've been a caterpillar, gorged on trauma, religion, and society's lies,
Now I'm wrapped in a chrysalis of self discovery, becoming new.
I'm working on cutting free the thick bonds of my youth,
It's time for me to find what kind of butterfly I'll be.
This work is hard, feelings and beliefs long held,
But I want to become the kind of beauty that I choose.
How I have been fed and shaped no longer guiding my growth,
Turning and writhing, new thoughts allowed in this tightening space.
Soon I'll be bursting free from who I used to believe I was,
And I'll be soaring free from this prison, beautiful colors on fluttering wings.
Living my life through eyes that can clearly see for the first time,
I'll be thriving in my best life, a beautiful creature to behold and cherish.

Hello my friends.
Two days ago I had a strawberry milk tea. It was delicious. I am super thankful that I was able to have one, as it was a while since I last had it. It's the simple things in life that can bring us joy.

What is something that brings you joy??

#Loveislove
#MentalHealth
#Love
#PanicDisorder
#Bipolar2

We live in a world where the white coat is often seen as a symbol of strength, invincibility, and unwavering dedication. But behind that white coat, there’s more than just medical knowledge and clinical skills. There’s a human being, someone who feels the weight of their decisions, the exhaustion from endless shifts, and the emotional toll of caring for others while trying to hold themselves together.

Let’s talk about mental health in the medical field — because, honestly, it’s time we stop pretending like everything’s fine just because someone is in scrubs or a stethoscope.

Doctors. We’re expected to know everything. To be the calm during storms, the ones who can save lives, who should never be rattled by the chaos of the emergency room. But, my friend, the truth is… we’re human. I remember those late-night shifts, staring at the patient’s chart and wondering, Is this the right choice? My hands were steady, but inside, I was fighting a storm. The guilt of making decisions, the pressure of knowing someone’s life could be in my hands. It's overwhelming, but you don't show it. Not at the moment. But when you're alone in the break room, or lying in bed at 3 AM, the weight of it all hits.

And then there are the nurses. Oh, the nurses. They are the backbone of every hospital, working tirelessly through long hours, yet they often get overlooked. I’ve seen them stay by a patient’s side when no one else could, holding their hand as they take their last breath, and then turning right around to help the next person in need. They are warriors, and yet, their mental health is often dismissed. They feel the pain, too. The burnout, the exhaustion, the emotional toll. But when was the last time you asked them how they were holding up?

As for medical students—bless them. When I was a student, I remember the endless hours of lectures, exams, and a constant barrage of information. We were told we had to “push through” and “stay strong,” but no one ever taught us how to handle the pressure of not knowing if we would pass, or if our best was ever enough. The anxiety becomes a constant companion. You learn to hide it, to put on the mask, but deep down, the doubt gnaws at you. The fear of failure. The fear of letting down those who depend on you. It’s suffocating.

So, what happens when the healers need healing themselves?

We are taught to care for others, but there’s little room in medical education to teach us how to care for ourselves. We’re expected to be perfect, but we’re just as vulnerable as anyone else. And it’s okay to admit that. It’s okay to say, “I need help.”

If you ask any doctor, nurse, or medical student, they'll likely tell you about the constant mental battle they fight—feeling drained but still pushing through because someone needs them. We carry the weight of others' pain, but who’s there to carry ours? And for those of us who love our work, it’s even harder. The guilt of feeling burnt out, of questioning if we’re doing enough, can be paralyzing.

But here's the thing: we're not alone in this. If you're a medical professional reading this, know that it's okay to feel overwhelmed. It's okay to need a break. It’s okay to reach out for support. It's okay to say, “I’m not okay today.” You’re still a hero, even when you’re not saving lives in the operating room or diagnosing complex diseases. You’re human, and you deserve care, too.

To all the medical students out there, I see you. I know the sleepless nights, the endless exams, the uncertainty that hangs over you like a dark cloud. But hang in there. The storm passes, and you'll come out stronger on the other side.

To the nurses, I hope you know that your work doesn’t go unnoticed. Your care, your compassion, your strength — it matters. You matter.

And to the doctors, remember: you don’t have to carry the weight of the world alone. We’re in this together.

Let’s take care of each other, because after all, healing starts with us, too.

#MentalHealth
#whitecoatwhispers
#loveyourhealer
#Love is strong

How do I express how I feel about a tiny body that purrs? My Bootsie Moo #Kitty has been my #companion for a long time.

Today is Monday April 7th of 2025 and I am worried about her health. As of 10:55am, she is alive. But she is unwell. I am not sure if this will be her last day with me, but I wanted to post a message for you all.

No matter where you are, or what you do, always remember to tell your loved ones that you love them. You never know when it will be the last time you see them. One moment they are here, and the next they are not.

Life is beautifully mixed with happiness and sadness. Without death there can be no birth. I love life for what it is, even if I wish that I could go back to youthfulness. I am 39 human years and my kitty is about 13 years old human years. I do not know how much longer I will have her.. but I plan to #Love her with all of my heart.

Love,
Valerie

Our differences make us strong!

#Love #Differences

It is a beautiful day here here in Florida. It is crisp this morning and I have the windows down. I have been working a lot on my YouTube channel "ValerieCorinneNJ" and I hope to grow it. I am excited for the future and I am looking forward to seeing what good things can happen. I have struggled for so long, and I still do with major #PanicAttacks It's awful. Anxiety isn't the best either. But I do what I do because I have to. I just keep moving.

I pray that you're doing well.
I am around. I am alive. LoL

Love,
Valerie

#bts
#KpopMusic
#KPop
#Crazy
#Fun
#Love
#Anxiety
#BipolarDisorder
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Love
#Friends

This week will go down in history for me ! My furry miracle, Honey, laid on my lap all throughout the week. For the first time !!!! #epic