medchange

I feel terrible and do not know how to fight this battle anymore. #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #Feelingsick #medchange

I took the afternoon off of work today. When i woke up this morning i felt really rough, which is not surprising in a way - i am doing yet another med change (for depression) and have been experiencing some moderate trauma responses in the past few weeks. It’s been hard to relax and rest and i am worn out.

I made the decision to take the afternoon off early in the day and that actually helped me get more done at work this morning than i think i would have if i had chosen to power through the whole day. Often, i can be really indecisive about taking a mental health day, with the result that I usually don’t. So the first act of self care i did for myself today was to recognize what i needed and make a firm decision. (I am lucky that my managers are all supportive of staff using sick days and mental health days - i know not every workplace is like this. I wish all employers would understand that in the long run more and better quality work gets done when employees feel able to take a mental health day when needed.)

After i ate lunch, i had some rest time in bed with my cats. I listened to a guided meditation and then some music. Later on, i took a walk. When i got home, i did a little tidying. Now i am waiting for my take out order to come - there’s a good vegetarian restaurant that does really nourishing and tasty meals and it made sense not to force myself to cook tonight. I like cooking in general but it does take a lot of energy. I am trying not to feel bad for not making the dinner i had planned (and that i have the ingredients for). I can make it tomorrow, when hopefully i have some more energy. I ordered enough take out that i have leftovers for lunch tomorrow too.

After dinner, I’m planning to have a bath. Then chill out in bed with the cats. Maybe read. Go to bed early.

Self care can be really hard for me sometimes, so i wanted to post and take a moment to notice and acknowledge that i have done a good job of it today.

#Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Selfcare #medchange #Trauma

I recently posted that i was changing my antidepressant medication (thank you to everyone who commented or hearted that post - you really helped me through some rough days). The good news is the withdrawal issues from the old drug seem to have subsided. Yay! I have been taking it slowly but have been getting out of the house most days and was able to go out to dinner with friends a few nights ago.

The less good news is that I’m now getting some side effects from the new drug. I’m saying “less good” rather than “bad news” because there’s a strong possibility these side effects will also subside in a few weeks. The major side effect is muscle and joint pain. A few days ago I was feeling achy and it occured to me to check the info sheet i got with the new prescription — sure enough, muscle and joint pain is a fairly common side effect with this drug (at least when people first start it). It comes and goes during the day but is really persistent at night, mostly in my legs. The pain itself is on the lower end of the spectrum but is still disrupting my sleep (harder to fall asleep, harder to stay asleep). Ice packs seem to help a bit. I also stocked up on some epsom salts (just did a soak), an analgesic cream, and some painkillers. Hopefully, it’ll be a bit easier to sleep tonight. I am a bit surprised with this side effect because usually I deal with nausea/dizzyness when starting a new med. So even though I’m achy, I am trying to remind myself that it’s great not feeling constantly nauseated.

Today, I also did a long and slow yoga practice for the first time since switching the meds. I hope this will also help my muscles a bit. I did some foam rolling afterwards too. I happen to have a massage appointment tomorrow as well. I booked it a few weeks before i switched, which proved to be fortuitous.

It is of course still too early to tell if the side effects will subside or if this new antidepressant will help alleviate any of my depression symptoms. All this takes time. I am better than i was last week though and that is something.

#Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #medchange #Selfcare #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #CheerMeOn

I am going through some massive med changes. Currently I just titrated off geodon and am titrating onto invega. I’m on day four of invega titration and tonight will take 6 mg for the first time. After getting off 220mg of geodon over the course of a week and now going up slowly on invega, my sleep is all over the place. Some nights I get 5 hours, others I get 12. My goal is to end up at 9 mg of invega. Thank goodness I’m on medical leave and long term disability, couldn’t handle this while working. Somehow managed to get through an interview after five hours of sleep and some hypomania. Next my doctor and I want to get me off lithium, a drug that’s messed me up with side effects. Let’s just hope I make it through the next couple of months. #medchange #Insomnia #Hypomania #MixedMania #tired

I have been dealing with this since January. I have been through 3-4 different meds so far. The doctor from my outpatient program has suggested either Effexor or Prozac. I already have underlying health problems with blood pressure and tachycardia. I’m so over this med change deal. How does anyone cope with this or keep sane with all the med changes? Has anyone had good results with either? #medchange #Anxiety #PTSD #confused

Update for me, I seen the psychiatrist on Tuesday. He upped my dosage from 50mg to a 100mg of Lamotrigene. He also suggested taking my Lithium at bedtime which worries me, for the last 6 months I've been taking it 3 times a day. He said if that didn't help with my moods and contributing to my psychotic or mania symptoms, that he would up my dose for Lamotrigene again and add or tweek my Seroquel. I just hope that he really knows what he is doing, because I can't keep feeling like this are experiencing my life like this. My daughter is a year old and I feel like in some situations because of my paranoia, hallucinations, delusions that I'm somehow not allowing her to just be a little girl and to be loud and messy. If anyone has experience with dealing or going through this please don't hesitate to comment. Even the ones who are currently going through the same thing, don't be afraid to reach out. There's so much hate in this world, we need to stick together. #BipolarDisorder #medchange #scared

Going through a psych med change *again* and it’s been rough. (Bipolar 1)
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Anyway that’s not the point that’s just the set up.
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Tonight it is nearly 3am where I am and I am not asleep nor am I tired.
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This is different from past insomnia because I am not:
Sleepy but can’t sleep
Obsessive
Obsessive thinking
Having anxiety
Having a mixed state
Having a manic state
Having med withdrawals
In pain
Having terrible headaches
Aching for sleep
**or**
Worried or having any anxieties at all
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Ever since this med change really got going I have not been able to stop thinking. Not worrying ...
T H I N K I N G
I wonder. I wonder all the time. What did I dream about last night and why? What did Ancient Rome look like when it wasn’t ancient. How many facets are on a diamond? How did poor people travel in the desert before cars without getting heat stroke? What kind of tree is that? Do I have the right kind of soap to shower later. I want tea... nah.... no actually I want tea. What is my sister up to? What is my other sister up to? What is my other sister up to? How do they do surgery on eyes? What year was candy crush made? Do I have any long lost notes on my kindle? When was my kindle made?
AND on AND on
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This has been happening for a few days but tonight it is making me not sleep. I jump from thought to thought.
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and I’m worried that if I just lay here and do nothing I will stop wondering and start worrying.
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How to quiet a loud and wandering mind...

#BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Insomina #medchange #Medicationwithdrawal ##wanderingmind #ADD #Cantfocus #Insomniac #Bipolar1 #Thinking #overthinking #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Noworries #Notmanic #MedicatedAndMighty

Diagnosed 2 months ago. Recently had my meds upped to help sleep better at night. Slept last night and most of today. Now I’m awake and tired but can’t sleep. Have to be up in 3 hours with kids. Then appts and errands all day. It’s going to be a very long day. #SocialAnxiety #sleeplessnights

Thursday marks one month since my med change I didn’t think I could handle it’s the longest I’ve last and fought through a med change in forever ,I’m gonna make myself a 30 day chip like they have in #Recovery , Small Victories