Medicationwithdrawal

Long story shortened...hopefully. I’m not on antidepressants now, so bear w me.
I moved from Fl to Ga after f/t RVing for almost a year.
While traveling I either flew to FL to see psych or my Rx for Paxil 20 mg., Lithium 900 mg and Klonpin 3x day were refilled nationwide. All ok. Not great. Just living.

Issue started w med changes while I traveled.
~Sept 2018 taken off Pristiq
~off antidepressant for TWO mos
~put back on Wellbutrin, which I had been on several years (but had severe side effects this time....anger, rage)
~put on Paxil (until March 20)

Now, I’m in the new doc/old doc bubble because I moved States.
New doc cant see me until end of April. Neither can old doc. Hence, no Paxil. cold turkey stop. No options given. Both doc know my limbo issue but no one cares.

Withdrawal has fluctuated DAILY and are pretty much like in WebMD....
Headaches, feel like coming down with a flu bug, extreme fatigue, sleep 10-12 hours, irritability, Depressed, sad, moody, isolation but hard with 4 big dogs, don’t do anything, 2 days so far of stomach issues. Hungry buy nothing tastes good and doesn’t stay with me. First week I had deep dreams and 2 included how to commit suicide. Luckily those dreams are gone.

I have 25 days to go until new doc. appointment. Awful feeling. Not sure what to do.

This proves I do need anti depressant med too. I’ve got BiP2, Depression, Anxiety.

Going through a psych med change *again* and it’s been rough. (Bipolar 1)
...
Anyway that’s not the point that’s just the set up.
...
Tonight it is nearly 3am where I am and I am not asleep nor am I tired.
...
This is different from past insomnia because I am not:
Sleepy but can’t sleep
Obsessive
Obsessive thinking
Having anxiety
Having a mixed state
Having a manic state
Having med withdrawals
In pain
Having terrible headaches
Aching for sleep
**or**
Worried or having any anxieties at all
...
Ever since this med change really got going I have not been able to stop thinking. Not worrying ...
T H I N K I N G
I wonder. I wonder all the time. What did I dream about last night and why? What did Ancient Rome look like when it wasn’t ancient. How many facets are on a diamond? How did poor people travel in the desert before cars without getting heat stroke? What kind of tree is that? Do I have the right kind of soap to shower later. I want tea... nah.... no actually I want tea. What is my sister up to? What is my other sister up to? What is my other sister up to? How do they do surgery on eyes? What year was candy crush made? Do I have any long lost notes on my kindle? When was my kindle made?
AND on AND on
...
This has been happening for a few days but tonight it is making me not sleep. I jump from thought to thought.
...
and I’m worried that if I just lay here and do nothing I will stop wondering and start worrying.
...
How to quiet a loud and wandering mind...

#BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Insomina #medchange #Medicationwithdrawal ##wanderingmind #ADD #Cantfocus #Insomniac #Bipolar1 #Thinking #overthinking #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Noworries #Notmanic #MedicatedAndMighty