From "trying to be healthy" to "relapsing" #EatingDisorders #AnorexiaNervosa #disorederedthoughts #fearofnumbers #MultipleIllnesses
Abt a month ago I start my 1st ever weight loss program. This is after gaining more weight in recovery than expected and/or was healthy. I wanted to learn to like healthier food and learn healthier habits. So I joined Noom. They asked me to weigh myself. Every. Freaking. Day. I have to track every meal. Every calorie. It keeps track of every step I take.
I wasn't prepared for that. I was expecting healthy psychology-based information. But it's too late now. It only took a couple of days to trigger me.
Now I am backsliding very fast into days of not eating, panic attacks because I ate over X amt of cals that day. And the scale? The number that it gives me at the beginning of the day makes or breaks my day.
I've been so freaking careful for years. And it took a blink of an eye for it all to be flushed. I am once again terrified of food.
Has something like this happened to someone else? Can anyone relate to this/me?