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From "trying to be healthy" to "relapsing" #EatingDisorders #AnorexiaNervosa #disorederedthoughts #fearofnumbers #MultipleIllnesses

Abt a month ago I start my 1st ever weight loss program. This is after gaining more weight in recovery than expected and/or was healthy. I wanted to learn to like healthier food and learn healthier habits. So I joined Noom. They asked me to weigh myself. Every. Freaking. Day. I have to track every meal. Every calorie. It keeps track of every step I take.

I wasn't prepared for that. I was expecting healthy psychology-based information. But it's too late now. It only took a couple of days to trigger me.

Now I am backsliding very fast into days of not eating, panic attacks because I ate over X amt of cals that day. And the scale? The number that it gives me at the beginning of the day makes or breaks my day.

I've been so freaking careful for years. And it took a blink of an eye for it all to be flushed. I am once again terrified of food.

Has something like this happened to someone else? Can anyone relate to this/me?


Support or advice please? #MultipleDisabilities #MultipleIllnesses #ChronicPain #EatingDisorders #Anxiety #SuicidalThoughts

I'm in my 30s but Ive had chronic back pain since I was 15 due to deteriorating disc disease, later a schwannoma( a very rare type of tumor) on my sacrum therefore causing me to have to get a sacrectomy. Which led to nerve damage, compounding other disorders I'm battling, like bipolar (2), anxiety, and an eating disorder.

I just found out today that I have a tumor on my uterus and they are not positive yet if it is malignant or benign. However, it seems that even if it's benign I'll be looking at a hysterectomy which is going to greatly affect my moods and mood disorders. Not to mention the sadness that comes with the knowing that I will never be able to have children "naturally" (obviously adobtion is always an option still).

This is just a lot to deal with right now and I feel like giving up. I feel like my body keeps failing me at every turn, no matter what I try to do. If anybody has words of encouragement or words of wisdom I could definitely use it right now.


Life? 😶😶

My life is literally no life at all, I literally stay in my home afraid to go out due to a mistake I made due to a brain condition and mental health that was made public, a mistake that was and is completely out of character for me, and doctors conform why this happened but I am literally hated! I took my punishment from the law. An no one can punish me more than I punish myself daily. The public do not understand and do not want to know the truth about the situation or how sorry I am. Nearly everyone in my life turned their backs on me bar 5 people. I survive through the days, I don’t live. I truly believe all my illnesses and disabilities must be some kind of punishment I must deserve! I wish I had the money to be able to be able to move to a different place and start a new life but that’s something I am praying for.
#Sorry #Amiabadperson #Willieverhaveanykindoflife #Depression #Anxiety #Disability #Diabetes #ArnoldChiariMalformation #Braincondition #Braindisease #MultipleDisabilities #MultipleIllnesses #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #mistakes #Outofcharacter #needhelp #Needafreshstart #SuicideSurvivors #RapeSurvivors #DomesticAbuseSurvivors

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Okay not to be okay?

I feel like I always have to pretend to be okay, as people don’t really understand or want to know. I am sick of being told ‘don’t be silly or stupid’ for how I feel or just being blatantly ignored when people ask you to talk about your feelings, so it always seems the better option to pretend I am okay and just to deal with everything alone. #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicPain #SuicideSurvivor #ChronicIllness #MultipleIllnesses #MultipleDisabilities #PastTrauma #RapeSurvivors #DomesticAbuseSurvivors


My #InappropriateSinusTachycardia & possible #POTS have been kicking my 🍑 the past few days. I've had absolutely no energy & despite being in my fluid goal range (3-4 liters) am still tachy. I have classes (yay having 17 credit hours this semester) & don't have time to just be constantly napping. Also I don't have an attention span because guess who still hasn't been cleared to resume their ADHD meds--even though they did nothing to her heart rate? I just want to focus and have a good semester and feel ok--is it too much for me to ask of my body.
#ADHD #MultipleIllnesses

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