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ACCEPTANCE: 2nd of 9 Foundational Attitudes of Mindfulness As Part of Resilience
“On this sacred path of Radical Acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.”
- Tara Brach
“There is something Wonderfully Bold And Liberating
About Saying Yes To Our Entire Imperfect And Messy Life.”
- Tara Brach
The 9 Foundational Attitudes of Mindfulness also helps us to understand the significance of Full/Radical Acceptance.
First, from my own words and my own horrible things I just had to finally fully Accept: first you must grieve whatever kind of loss it is and then you must let it go (letting go/letting be - the doorway to freedom will be another post of mine here in this group) — but first, I had to grieve that surprise! I will be managing my Chronic major depressive disorder for the rest of my life, biggest surprise for my husband and I firstly was that I did not win the lottery with the type of depression that occurs once, we had no idea there was such a thing as Chronic, Recurring Major Depressive Disorder! And I had to grieve that this took my career away since my onset of this beast of an illness was at 34 years old. We had to grieve that we would struggle on 1 income because I could not work any job well enough anymore which we finally had to accept by the time I was in my early 40’s. I had to grieve that I was too sick and disabled and with our 1 income that I wouldn’t become a Mom (except to kitties). I had to grieve that this left me isolated from making new friends and I had to grieve the “friends” that deserted me when I was too sick and not myself. I had to grieve that I had never had healthy parenting from either of my parents and that I had to save myself and cut off the extremely toxic relationships with both of my parents with their narcissism and their emotional abuse to me. I had to grieve the devastating trauma that onset this horrendous illness that made me very suicidal back then and more times-even one time of that is too many times- I am sure many of us know what I mean. I also had to grieve more than once when my MDD took away my sense of self- I had to keep relearning who I am, what I like & dislike, remembering with surprise that I am actually funny and full of life and joy and positivity inherently. But, Thankfully I finally learned from my Mindfulness teachers and other experts that were better than my therapists ever were, that without learning (Radical )Acceptance and all of the integrated 9 attitudes of Mindfulness and so much more (I read psychology in my free time to learn to conquer my illness every single day) and this was my only way to attain the most beautiful inner peace, and to manifest my best life after all plus transforming into my best, most authentic self.
Acceptance- The attitude of actively recognizing that things are the way they are, even if they aren’t the way we want them to be.
Accepting Reality- mindfulness and awareness help you to *Come To Terms* with and accept things in life that are less than wonderful.
Acknowledging the present reality as it is (you don’t have to like it, it’s just how your body is feeling right now - it will not be completely just like this always/not for the rest of your life); Acceptance does not mean approval or compliance in every situation. As a mindfulness principle, acceptance means seeing the present moment as it truly is, taking it in, and living with that knowledge. You can accept a fact and decide to change it, if that seems like the appropriate choice to you. ***This principle is not about keeping things the same***, but ***it is about letting go of denial or ignorance and accepting or acknowledging what is happening in the moment.***
Accepting what is, even if that is challenging. When you know what you are dealing with, you can discover what can be mindfully changed and what has to remain as it is.
With MBCT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy) you can prepare yourself and find ways to cope with the bad in a way that allows you to move on and even to eventually see some of the bad as a surprisingly good thing.
There is also Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT; Hayes et al. 1999)
The Six Core Processes of ACT”).
To put it in less clinical terms and make it a bit easier to understand, Dr. Russell Harris (2011) has defined ACT as “a mindfulness-based behavioral therapy that challenges the ground rules of most Western psychology” with the goal of helping patients create a rich and meaningful life and develop mindfulness skills, even with the existence of pain and suffering.
Six core processes of ACT to develop psychological flexibility are:
Acceptance,
Cognitive Defusion,
Being Present,
Self as context,
Values,
Committed Action
Acceptance is an alternative to the instinct to avoid negative, or potentially negative, experiences. It is the active choice to be aware of and allow these types of experiences without trying to avoid or change them.
Cognitive Defusion refers to the defusion techniques that are intended to change how an individual reacts to or interacts with their thoughts and feelings rather than the nature of these thoughts and feelings. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is not intended to limit our exposure to negative experiences, but to face them and come out the other side with a decreased fixation on these experiences.
Being Present is another familiar concept for practitioners of mindfulness-based therapy. It can be understood as the practice of being aware of the present moment while declining to attach judgment to the experience. In other words, being present involves actively experiencing what is happening without trying to predict, change, or make value judgments about the experience.
Self as Context is a simple idea that an individual is not his or her experiences, thoughts, or emotions. Instead of being one’s experiences, the “self as context” process rests on the idea that there is a self outside of the current experience.
In other words, we are not what happens to us. We are the ones experiencing what happens to us.
Values in this context are defined as the qualities that we choose to work towards in any given moment.
We all hold values, consciously or unconsciously, that direct our steps.
In ACT, we apply processes and techniques that help us live our lives according to the values that we hold dear.
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