Sexual Assault Awareness Month

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Sexual Assault Awareness Month
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    So much stuff!!!

    I have been having a really hard time and it’s been a reallly long year for my family.
    About me I have Fibro, RA, IC/BPS, sciatica AS, DDD, SpinalFusion spinalstenosis etc..

    I have my oldest brother who had a stroke this year. We have always spoken and never had and any issues ( unlike my other siblings that’s another post).

    When I was younger my brother more than once sexually assaulted me.
    I don’t know if it actually considered that
    I was sexually assaulted by my father when I was a child and raped at 15 by an older man.

    My brother who is 20 years older than me tried to kiss me on more than one occasion this was when I was in elementary school. He I found out a few years ago was also along with my brothers and my sister were sexually assaulted by my father as well.

    So the situation is idkw but after he had his stroke I just couldn’t speak to him.
    I did only speak to him because of my mother. I did tell my mother when I was younger and I can only say she made excuses for him and begged me not to not talk to him.

    I love my mother very much and we have a very good relationship except for this issue. So I haven’t spoken to him since his stroke and I feel extremely guilty for it.
    He has been trying to get in contact with me but I have thwarted contact.

    My husband knows and of course he says I should not feel guilty and doesn’t understand why I had been talking to him all these years.
    I don’t know if I should say something to my mom who is 85. I don’t think it would do anything but upset her or cause and arguement. Or bother saying anything to my brother. Which idkw I feel bad saying anything which doesn’t make sense.
    I know I should have gone to therapy years ago but does anyone have any suggestions how I should proceed in the interim ?

    #SexualAbuseSurvivors #SexualAssault #SexualAbuse #SexualAssaultSurvivors #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #SexualTrauma #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia #Fibro #InterstitialCystitis #sciatica #DDD #AnkylosingSpondylitis #painfulbladdersyndrome #LymeDisease #ChronicIlless #ChronicLymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #PituitaryTumors #PituitaryTumor #SpinalFusion #gastric sleeve surgery #Anxiety #CPTSD #PTSD #PTSD

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    As a rape victim #how do you cope years later.

    #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth

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    Staying home doesn’t always mean you are safe

    Every time I hear “stay home, stay safe”, I think about all the survivors out there where home is the most unsafe place they could’ve been. Where the distractions outside of the house is what keep them going.

    For a lot more kids than you can think of, school is the only safe place they have.

    For a lot of teenagers, hanging out with friends until the last minute they can, is the only moment their mind can get away of the fear.

    For a lot of adults and young adults, getting out of the house to go to work is the only therapy they can afford.

    If for you or someone you know home is not a safe place, there is help out there. You are not alone. ❤️

    National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

    Crisis Text Line -Text Hello to 741741

    YouthLine -Text teen2teen to 839863, or call 1-877-968-8491

    Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline -1-800-422-4453

    National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-7233

    National Deaf Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-855-812-1001

    LGBT National Hotline - 1-888-843-4564

    LGBT National Youth Talkline - 1-800-246-7743

    LGBT Senior Hotline - 1-888-234-7243

    #SAAM2020 #SexualAbuse #Depression #SuicidePrevention #DomesticViolence #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #Survivor #youarenotalone #Anxiety

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    Isolation

    This isolation/lockdown is really helping my anxiety in one way, as I dont have to worry about being near the guy who assaulted me. I dont have to go near places that will trigger me. But what I am struggling with is the thourght that he is using this time to groom other girls online, so that when this is over he can atrack them.
    Then to make things worse his family have been spreading sexual assault awareness even though they know hes sexually assaulted girls and raped one. Things like this make me so angry and I cant talk about it to anyone. I am trying so hard to heal and build new friendships but with his family spreading lies I cant.

    #MentalHealth #PTSD #Trauma #Anxiety #Depression #SexualAbuse #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #SexualAssaultSurvivors #Church #Lockdown #COVID19 #CheckInWithMe #struggling #panic

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    Isolation

    This isolation/lockdown is really helping my anxiety in one way, as I dont have to worry about being near the guy who assaulted me. I dont have to go near places that will trigger me. But what I am struggling with is the thourght that he is using this time to groom other girls online, so that when this is over he can atrack them.
    Then to make things worse his family have been spreading sexual assault awareness even though they know hes sexually assaulted girls and raped one. Things like this make me so angry and I cant talk about it to anyone. I am trying so hard to heal and build new friendships but with his family spreading lies I cant.

    #MentalHealth #PTSD #Trauma #Anxiety #Depression #SexualAbuse #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #SexualAssaultSurvivors #Church #Lockdown #COVID19 #CheckInWithMe #struggling #panic