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    × " Self L.O.V.E Is A Very Hard Thing To Accomplish In Life " × #inner Demon's # Thought's

    × " How Can I L.O.V.E Myself When I Feel Broken And Mentally Damaged And Not Here... Every Day That I Look At Myself In The Mirror... All I See Is The #sexual Assult #Broken Person That I'am... How Can I Love The Body That Has Been Through Alot.. The Pain That I Feel Everyday Is Fucking Draining... How Can Someone Ever Want To Be With Me... I'm Trying So Hard To Fully Express My Feeling's... I'm The Broken Doll... That Feel's Worthless At Time's.. I Have My Episode 's I Have Plenty Deep Wound's And Scar's That Will N.E.V.E.R HEAL... I Have Lost Everything... I Have No Family Of My Own.. And Yet People Alway's Expect Me.. To Just Deal And Just Automatically Love Myself.. I Just Can't Do It Anymore... I Have Tried To Express Everything That I'am.. And That's Not Good Enough For Anyone... So Don't Expect Me To Just Turn On " The Love Myself Switch "... It's Much More Difficult To Master... Who Would Want Me With Physical And Mental Health Issue's... I Have Had Only One Realtionship My Entire Life... So It Harder For Me To "TRUST " Anyone With Intimate Thought's Or Private One's.. And When Your Mind Keep's Telling You That Nobody Will Want You... Your Not Beautiful As You Think.. Oh Your Fat... Well That's All That I Really See In Myself.. For Year's... " × #Thought 's

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    Community Voices

    Hello , I am watching the last few threads of my sanity slowly unwinding as my new meds side effects and all try to give me a mood higher than 0. I wonder who will win this race. Insanity or these new meds and us putting one foot in front of the other and leaning in the hope that momentum carries us forward.
    My brain has a constant stream of noise on a loop. Voice who are perhaps fractured parts of me as a result of a horrific childhood #Trauma of repeated #sexual assault, neglect, abuse and the regular inner #self hate, alone with the creaky shadows I sometimes think I see in my peripheral. I don’t ever sleep any more. I am hyper vigilant. My brain lets my body takes little naps. This night it gave me 3 hours and 22 mins. My new meds make me queasy, edgy, agitated, head aches, increase my suicidal ideation , desire to self harm and give me about 10 more of sleep, Great. Yes I know it takes time for them to kick in but unfortunately my last threads are about to unwind. I have repeatedly tried the recommended relaxation techniques . Sitting still is suffocating and makes my skin hurt on the inside where the only way out is a pain stimulus, it causes major Panic #Anxiety reactions and gives me 3D high def in living colour night-terrors
    Both of my therapists and my Psychiatrist are working well with me. The question is will it be in time?
    I thought I was at rock bottom as far as my depressions goes. The darkest of my entire life. Then I discovered rock bottom has a basement.. I am again in a crowd and again unable to find where or if I fit . That is no surprise..
    By the by Insanity is in the lead.

    17 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    × " Inner Thought's & Triggered Anxious Feeling's... At Work " × #AnxietyAttack #Lowmood #Depression

    × Hello , Mighty Family... It's Been Awhile Unfortunately This Will Not Be A Poem Tonight... I Have Been Having Anxious Feeling's At My Job.. All Because Of A New Guy... That Like's To Get Too Close And Like's To Touch Me. I Hate Being Touched By Anyone. Because Of A Decade's Old #sexual Assult. Now I Told This Guy To Please Not To Touch Me. And He Doesn't Listen Yesterday When I Tried To Sign In To Work. He Came Up Behind Me I Turned Around And He Scared Me. I Told Him Excuse Me To Let Me Pass. And He Didn't Move Or Listen... And Stood In My Way Like He Was In A Daze. This Co-Worker Only Touche's Me No Other Female's. So Now I'm Scared To Go To Work... And Stressed Out. I Already Let All Of My Female Bosse's Know. What He Has Been Doing To Me. I Deserve To Feel Comfortable x Safe Coming To A Job That I Love Doing. Now I Feel So Shamed For Telling Them. I Don't Want The Rest Of My Male Co-Worker's. To Feel Uncomfortable Around Me Now. I Feel Like I'm A Shit Starter x Drama Queen Now. I Can't Stop Crying I Don't Know How To Feel. I Like All Of My Co-worker's. The Rest Of The Men Respect Me x My Boundarie's. Now This New Guy Is Making Me Feel Like I Should Quit My Job. He Won't Leave Me Alone. #Depression #AnxietyAttack #Lowmood

    21 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    as the title says im lost. my brother who was also my best friend commited suicede. i found out on the 21 of august. he had been missing for two weeks. when they found him it was said that he had been there for 5-7 days and was deceased for that time. my heart is breaking. i dont know how to live without him. i am so mad at him for leaving me here to pick up the pieces of the mess he made by taking his life. we went through hell as kids together he was my savior. we survived physical, mental emotional and sexual abuse at the had of my mother and many others. we survived being moved from home to home in foster care. i dont understand why he did this why he didnt reach out to me he knew i would be there for him and would do anything i could for him no matter what. im lost and i feel very alone right now

    8 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    #sexual Assualt

    How is everyone feeling about the release of Bill Crosby? I have mixed emotions.

    Community Voices

    Precious day.

    <p>Precious day.</p>
    4 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Moka

    #sexual abuse # neglict # trauma

    My abuser still lives in the same unit as me... i have resorted to hiding into my sanctuary... for years and i want to break free. but i dont know how

    Community Voices

    #PTSD . I am having a hard time with this election. If the incumbent wins I feel like it’s a personal affront to every single person who has been sexually abused and to women who have been called “nasty.. and many more names”. I am trying not to take it personally but it is bringing up strong feelings in me., and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone:(

    7 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Mom. She's that miraculous creature who gave birth to... Us all. She's suppose to have all the answers; fix anything.

    I never had one. She gave birth to me then decided I wasn't worth it. But she liked me as her personal punching bag. I was her excuse for all her problems and failures. When she got sick from cancer, I was responsible for taking care of her. I was 11. She died before my 12th birthday. She despised me but I stupidly kept wanting her love and approval.

    After she passed my role was mother. Make sure my half-brother and I had food. Sometimes that included stealing from a drunken stepfather who could care less if we died. Eventually I took over writing the checks, forging his signature to pay bills as long as he put money in the bank. Till one day that stopped too. I was a failure according to my mom and then I finally felt like one. I was homeless at 17; so in a way I was lucky. Had some friends I could stay with till I was legal.

    At 18 my life began and I left my brother to his father. So mine began and his.... Went to hell.

    I'll be 40 in August. I have 4 children. A marriage on the rocks and my broken brother lives with us now. Then there is Covid-19.

    I am soo tired of holding up the world for everyone else when I'm soo broken. I keep glueing every chipped piece back in place while it crumbles above my head. In the middle of trying to keep my marriage working my husband got kicked from our health plan. No more antidepressants, no more anxiety meds, no more antipsychotics. Took me 2 months to ease myself off my meds. Been taking them for 4 years. All while balancing my families world above me. Now on top of being super mom; i dont sleep again. I'm just soo tired... Emotionally, mentally and physically. I'm trying so hard.

    (No Im not suicidal. Not gonna harm my family. I might just walk away and not stop but not gonna harm them. Just tired of those questions.)

    #Parenting a child with special needs
    #Survivor
    #Insomniac
    #mental abuse
    #physical abuse
    #sexual abuse
    #Emotionally numb
    #Nightmares
    #Anxiety
    #Depression
    #PTSD
    #ADHD
    #Broken inside

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Grateful to have found The Mighty!

    I’m so grateful to have found this safe place to be myself without shame or guilt. Social media (Facebook, Twitter, whatever) exacerbates my mental symptoms and anxiety. But I crave contact and communication. Thank you for each and every group leader and everyone who works behind the scenes to provide this haven. I am so much happier!

    #Bipolar 1 #Anxiety #sexual trauma as a child

    14 people are talking about this