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#sexual trauma from years ago

How can I come to terms with what happened, regain my sense of safety and trust, and learn to heal and move on with my life. Having flashbacks from movies and events, anxiety etc.

(Was #abused by family member at age 8 to 17. Then found other sexual partners from internet. Then at workplace was #raped over and over from 2004 to 2006). I did see counsellors but didnt work out or was told Im lying.

29 reactions 13 comments

i’m realizing I don’t know what’s normal anymore. May I ask some advice please?

After escaping a 23 year marriage that was verbally, physically, and sexually abusive I took time off to get myself in a better place physically and emotionally.

I then wound up rekindling an old college friendship and I couldn’t have been happier. He swore that the most angry he ever got was to yell at someone. When we got engaged and moved in together, those things started to change. Now it’s to the point where he’s told me more than once that he doesn’t like to have sex with me because I ask stupid questions even if it’s six-8 hours after being intimate. He calls me names, has told me he’s breaking up with me and reminded me that my name is not on the lease so my son and I have to move, and punches holes in walls. Then, no matter how many times I explain that it causes me serious anxiety and means I can’t sleep alll night, he refuses to try and work it out that night. Then he wakes up the next morning and acts like nothing happened. If I try to work it out and he says i’m just trying to ruin his day or start another fight.
Is this kind of stuff just normal in a relationship? We’ve been engaged a few years and I’m now to the point where i’m wondering if this is right?

#sexual Assault #Anxiety #Depression #CPTSD #Abusive Marriage

73 reactions 17 comments

I am getting sexually harrased by my stepdad and i am only 14

#sexualawarenessmonth name is Anna and i am 14 years old.I am from austria and i wanna share my story of how i am dealing with sexual harrasment.

I know i am still a child.And that is so sad.I mostly know what sexual assult is but i never got to deal with it before like is a bit easier when it is a stranger, but a own family member who lives in your house is unimgainable.

Since my parents divorced after long years of fighting everyday, my mom finally found someone.My stepdad.He was always really nice and chill.I thought i could trust the time i always had a bad feeling that something was wrong.(i was 10 i suppose)I dont know why but i just did.I always heard alot of storys of someone getting sexually harassed by their stepdads.Which fricked me out alot.

I am going on now.When i was in 5th grade i found out that he watches inapropriate videos on the internet.From that on my opinion on him changed.I never viewed him the same.This wasnt the only thing.From that point i started ralizing more and more(idk if he did something before i was 13 but i couldnt realize).He started making sexual jokes about my body.He started looking at me weirdly.And he started doing ,,,acidental,, touches.But the worst thing is that i dont know if he knows what he is doing or if he does it unintentionaly you know.Some people dont know what is appropriate or not.I dont know how ro explain it.I have the feeling that this is a misunderstanding but the things he did dont feel very harmless.

I am currently going to the school psychologist.I told her for the first time 3 days ago.I felt a reliefe because i was carrying this weight for atleast a few months.She told me to agree on an experiment to find out if he is doing these things unintentionaly or if he knows what he is doing(i hope yall know what i mean).

She told me to say ,,please stop,, when he says sexual jokes or touches me.If he doesnt stop he is a predator.If he does i am thankfull.Till now, nothing special has happened anymore(exept staring at body parts).But i will try.

I wanted to post this because i wanna find people with the same expirience as me.So i can do something about it and to feel beter.Wish me luck #sexual #harrasment sa#sexual #harrasment

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Anniversary of Sexual Abuse Trial

I’ve been reading a lot of posts about telling everyone about your abuse story. Telling your truth. It will help to heal you! A year ago I went through a trial against my sexual abuser, my father. I lost! It was a terrible experience! I felt retraumatized and angry. Once the Defense Attorney started the cross examinations and witnesses were brought in, that was itYou could see it in the jury’s eyes. I didn’t stand a chance. So much for telling my truth. Worst of all was the doubt in my husbands eyes and his family. Our relationship is forever changed. Has anyone else been through a similar experience? I’ve heard , You told your truth, it doesn’t matter what people think, but unfortunately it does matter. I would love to hear from anyone who like me, it didn’t work out and now you’re living with the consequences of TELLING! #sexual Abuse. #Doubts #help

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How do you talk to your kids about sex?

In a recently published article here on the Mighty, the topic of educating children about sex is discussed in detail:

How to Talk to Your Child About Sex

I know this is a controversial topic that often brings up discussions about values, but it is also a subject that is often tackled when discussing the prevention of child sexual abuse. Educating children about sex in age appropriate ways is critical to their ability to distinguish what is safe and what is not. Some of the lessons in this article are great, including the focus on boundaries and on how sex in the media (namely pornography) isn't representative of real sex.

Have you discussed this with your kids? What has helped you tackle this delicate topic?

#Trauma #PTSD #ctpsd #SexEducation #Parenting #sexual #Abuse

How to Talk to Your Child About Sex

1 reaction 1 comment

× " Self L.O.V.E Is A Very Hard Thing To Accomplish In Life " × #inner Demon's # Thought's

× " How Can I L.O.V.E Myself When I Feel Broken And Mentally Damaged And Not Here... Every Day That I Look At Myself In The Mirror... All I See Is The #sexual Assult #Broken Person That I'am... How Can I Love The Body That Has Been Through Alot.. The Pain That I Feel Everyday Is Fucking Draining... How Can Someone Ever Want To Be With Me... I'm Trying So Hard To Fully Express My Feeling's... I'm The Broken Doll... That Feel's Worthless At Time's.. I Have My Episode 's I Have Plenty Deep Wound's And Scar's That Will N.E.V.E.R HEAL... I Have Lost Everything... I Have No Family Of My Own.. And Yet People Alway's Expect Me.. To Just Deal And Just Automatically Love Myself.. I Just Can't Do It Anymore... I Have Tried To Express Everything That I'am.. And That's Not Good Enough For Anyone... So Don't Expect Me To Just Turn On " The Love Myself Switch "... It's Much More Difficult To Master... Who Would Want Me With Physical And Mental Health Issue's... I Have Had Only One Realtionship My Entire Life... So It Harder For Me To "TRUST " Anyone With Intimate Thought's Or Private One's.. And When Your Mind Keep's Telling You That Nobody Will Want You... Your Not Beautiful As You Think.. Oh Your Fat... Well That's All That I Really See In Myself.. For Year's... " × #Thought 's


The Race of my Life #Depression #Insomnia #Suicide #SuicidalIdeation Anxietycomplex-PTSD #chronicillnesn #OCD #MentalIllness #Selfharm

Hello , I am watching the last few threads of my sanity slowly unwinding as my new meds side effects and all try to give me a mood higher than 0. I wonder who will win this race. Insanity or these new meds and us putting one foot in front of the other and leaning in the hope that momentum carries us forward.
My brain has a constant stream of noise on a loop. Voice who are perhaps fractured parts of me as a result of a horrific childhood #Trauma of repeated #sexual assault, neglect, abuse and the regular inner #self hate, alone with the creaky shadows I sometimes think I see in my peripheral. I don’t ever sleep any more. I am hyper vigilant. My brain lets my body takes little naps. This night it gave me 3 hours and 22 mins. My new meds make me queasy, edgy, agitated, head aches, increase my suicidal ideation , desire to self harm and give me about 10 more of sleep, Great. Yes I know it takes time for them to kick in but unfortunately my last threads are about to unwind. I have repeatedly tried the recommended relaxation techniques . Sitting still is suffocating and makes my skin hurt on the inside where the only way out is a pain stimulus, it causes major Panic #Anxiety reactions and gives me 3D high def in living colour night-terrors
Both of my therapists and my Psychiatrist are working well with me. The question is will it be in time?
I thought I was at rock bottom as far as my depressions goes. The darkest of my entire life. Then I discovered rock bottom has a basement.. I am again in a crowd and again unable to find where or if I fit . That is no surprise..
By the by Insanity is in the lead.


× " Inner Thought's & Triggered Anxious Feeling's... At Work " × #AnxietyAttack #Lowmood #Depression

× Hello , Mighty Family... It's Been Awhile Unfortunately This Will Not Be A Poem Tonight... I Have Been Having Anxious Feeling's At My Job.. All Because Of A New Guy... That Like's To Get Too Close And Like's To Touch Me. I Hate Being Touched By Anyone. Because Of A Decade's Old #sexual Assult. Now I Told This Guy To Please Not To Touch Me. And He Doesn't Listen Yesterday When I Tried To Sign In To Work. He Came Up Behind Me I Turned Around And He Scared Me. I Told Him Excuse Me To Let Me Pass. And He Didn't Move Or Listen... And Stood In My Way Like He Was In A Daze. This Co-Worker Only Touche's Me No Other Female's. So Now I'm Scared To Go To Work... And Stressed Out. I Already Let All Of My Female Bosse's Know. What He Has Been Doing To Me. I Deserve To Feel Comfortable x Safe Coming To A Job That I Love Doing. Now I Feel So Shamed For Telling Them. I Don't Want The Rest Of My Male Co-Worker's. To Feel Uncomfortable Around Me Now. I Feel Like I'm A Shit Starter x Drama Queen Now. I Can't Stop Crying I Don't Know How To Feel. I Like All Of My Co-worker's. The Rest Of The Men Respect Me x My Boundarie's. Now This New Guy Is Making Me Feel Like I Should Quit My Job. He Won't Leave Me Alone. #Depression #AnxietyAttack #Lowmood