I've taken the following 26 reasons that people in the community want those who do not understand to know. I am one of these people; the end of the article asks what others would add. I wish I could link the post, the name of the article is:
Things People Who Nap 'Too Much' Wish Others Understood'
Not that mine's important or matters; and I won't lie, I absolutely avoid and isolate- but for the most part, it is depression and even the isolating is so that ... while I am asleep, at least the reality I knew before whatever problem came up can be the one I pretend still exists... Pathetic, I know...
My other reasons?
I go through bouts up to a couple of weeks with little to no sleep; then I do the exact opposite, and get so depressed I sleep for weeks, even months...Or, I just lay in bed, eyes closed, wishing I weren't alive. I know the methods I use are unhealthy, as is the fantasy believing that a reality that is no longer true, is indeed still true, is bad. But I crave sleep;
I am the sole caregiver for my grandma who thankfully is in overall good health (despite her breaking her foot recently...) but I just can't go out all the time... But on days I must, things as simple as getting her coffee or her meds, or letting my dog out the back door, or even just to get up and go to the bathroom, which is in my bedroom, the door not far from my bed...
Things like this and equally as seemingly small drain my physical, mental and emotional strength to the point of almost passing out, if I don't get back to bed. Other times, it is less severe, my body feels just overwhelmed and heavy, I can't catch my breath; you'd think I had just done some strenuous activity.
I nap so much because it is a great escape for me, especially now.. Even the nightmares that are horrific and sometimes flashbacks I welcome over reality. I am so exhausted, and the more I have to see the heartbreaking decline in my grandma, the more I miss my recently passed grandpa, the more heavy I feel...
Even as I am sitting in bed typing this, I am wearing myself out. Sitting up is too much. Blah. The emotions; the memories, the fear of dealing with my relationship, my grandma... It's too much.... I wish I could sleep forever.
Let me add, there are plenty of other things I'd love to be doing. I am working on a book, essays, I am an artist, a streamer and gamer, I love to read, I love to study and I love photography.... There are many things I'd LOVE to get up and do... But the emotional drain on my body is so bad I can't; imagine what you are most passionate about.... And imagine being too worn out to do it. So you sleep, thinking you can do it when you wake. Only to find out, no... You can't.
It really shows the ignorance or the truth about those who can't comprehend this... Who would want to feel so bad that they must sleep their life away?! I want to escape my mind & environment; to relieve the exhaustion.
I wish I didn't.
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