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Prisoner of #Anxiety

Today I realized how much anxiety wreaks havoc over my life, and how much it holds me prisoner. I experience anxiety because I’m so convinced something terrible will happen every waking moment. I have a negative outlook on myself because I’m afraid I’ll do something wrong which adds to the anxiety. Today I felt so much anxiety that I took a nap for three hours, wrapped up in blankets. I do this because a) sleeping is an escape from the world, b) being in bed with blankets on me makes me feel safe. I do try grounding by lying on my back on the bare floor with my feet on the floor, and I also try CBT. But the tough part is trying to heal enough so I can do the work I need to do (I work from home as a freelancer), which doesn’t always happen. I just wish I was free from all this anxiety and be it’s prisoner. I can’t live like this. #AnxietySymptoms #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #AnxietyAttack #Fatigued #Sleeptoomuch #ChronicAnxiety


#Sleeptoomuch #Escape #MentalHealth #suicidal

I've taken the following 26 reasons that people in the community want those who do not understand to know. I am one of these people; the end of the article asks what others would add. I wish I could link the post, the name of the article is:

Things People Who Nap 'Too Much' Wish Others Understood'

Not that mine's important or matters; and I won't lie, I absolutely avoid and isolate- but for the most part, it is depression and even the isolating is so that ... while I am asleep, at least the reality I knew before whatever problem came up can be the one I pretend still exists... Pathetic, I know...

My other reasons?
I go through bouts up to a couple of weeks with little to no sleep; then I do the exact opposite, and get so depressed I sleep for weeks, even months...Or, I just lay in bed, eyes closed, wishing I weren't alive. I know the methods I use are unhealthy, as is the fantasy believing that a reality that is no longer true, is indeed still true, is bad. But I crave sleep;

I am the sole caregiver for my grandma who thankfully is in overall good health (despite her breaking her foot recently...) but I just can't go out all the time... But on days I must, things as simple as getting her coffee or her meds, or letting my dog out the back door, or even just to get up and go to the bathroom, which is in my bedroom, the door not far from my bed...

Things like this and equally as seemingly small drain my physical, mental and emotional strength to the point of almost passing out, if I don't get back to bed. Other times, it is less severe, my body feels just overwhelmed and heavy, I can't catch my breath; you'd think I had just done some strenuous activity.

I nap so much because it is a great escape for me, especially now.. Even the nightmares that are horrific and sometimes flashbacks I welcome over reality. I am so exhausted, and the more I have to see the heartbreaking decline in my grandma, the more I miss my recently passed grandpa, the more heavy I feel...

Even as I am sitting in bed typing this, I am wearing myself out. Sitting up is too much. Blah. The emotions; the memories, the fear of dealing with my relationship, my grandma... It's too much.... I wish I could sleep forever.
Let me add, there are plenty of other things I'd love to be doing. I am working on a book, essays, I am an artist, a streamer and gamer, I love to read, I love to study and I love photography.... There are many things I'd LOVE to get up and do... But the emotional drain on my body is so bad I can't; imagine what you are most passionate about.... And imagine being too worn out to do it. So you sleep, thinking you can do it when you wake. Only to find out, no... You can't.
It really shows the ignorance or the truth about those who can't comprehend this... Who would want to feel so bad that they must sleep their life away?! I want to escape my mind & environment; to relieve the exhaustion.
I wish I didn't.


Constantly feeling tired all the time.#Noenergy #TooLittleSleep #Sleeptoomuch

I wish I knew how to better explain how I'm feeling, but the only way to say it is that I'm tired,no scratch that, I'm EXHAUSTED. I have little to no energy at all to anything, I feel like I'm always at work, due to being the reliable one that everyone comes to and asks to cover a shift here, and cover a shift there. I live in a small town, and I don't currently own a car, so I'm always having to walk to get anywhere, including my job. I have to force myself to make the walk to work or any place else for that matter, everything is so spread out and far away. I don't know what to do about how I'm feeling, and I'm absolutely scared that something will happen to me either on my way to work or while I'm at work. 😭😭😭

1 comment

Tired. All. The. Time.

I’m not sure if this will help anyone.

I had an unknown, underlying condition. I am not extremely over weight, nor do I have any physical, pre-existing conditions. I just have a “broken brain”. I finally found a medical Dr that LISTENS! She conducted a sleep study. I have (had) sleep apnea.

I stop breathing when I sleep, my wonderous brain wakes me up to breathe. That’s great, but not all night long. Didn’t matter how much or how little sleep I tried to get.

My spouse gets so frustrated because I’m always sleeping or sleepy. I know some can be attributed to my depression. This was just beyond depression sleepiness. It was a vicious cycle.

I have been prescribed a Cpap unit. I know it will take a few months before I can see results, but I am encouraged because studies show that any brain damage caused by my lack of oxygen can be repaired over time.

I still have severe depression and take medication. I am hopeful for the first time in an extremely long time. Never underestimate the value of a really good night’s sleep.

It doesn’t hurt to rule out apnea. Doesn’t matter your age or weight. It can be making depression worse.

Please take care of yourself and each other. ❤️ Charmin #DepressionNaps #MajorDepression #SleepApnea #SleepDeprivation #Sleeptoomuch #ObstructiveSleepApneaHypopnea

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Do Fibro Warriors need more sleep?

Over the course of my vacation last week I was amazing that I woke up before 10am every day. I thought maybe I was so relaxed and well rested that I could have a normal sleep schedule, and maybe I could continue when I got home.

Well it's been almost a whole week since and I'm back in my old ways. I looked at my fitness watch sleep record too see what the difference was and I was shocked! On vacation I was going to bed super early for me and sleeping a total of 9 to 11 hours a night! Now that I'm back working I get home at midnight and then get upset with myself for not waking up before 9am.

I felt amazing and energized when I woke up on days I slept 10+ hours. So my question for my fellow Fibro Warriors is this: Is this a thing? Do we need more sleep than average adults in order to feel good? Have any of your doctors told you that you might need more sleep?

#Fibromyaliga #ChronicPain #Sleeptoomuch


Hypomania to Depressive #Bipolar2Disorder

Guys, I just went from a week of hypomania which was super productive to a depressive episode. Over the past two days I have slept for 40 of 48 hours. I have a ton of homework to do for college and I am worried I won't be able to get it all done by Monday. My OCD is constantly nagging at the back of my mind that I need to get my homework done that I need to get my grades up (Even though I have all As and one A-). Inside my head I am panicking but my body is just exhuasted. I did so much during my hypomania that my fibromyalgia is now kicking me hard. I have so much to do and while deep down I care, on the surface I really don't care and can't focus. Any thoughts, help, or advice? #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #perfectionism #Obsession #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDisorder #Hypomania #DepressiveEpisodes #Fibromyalgia #FibroFog #sleepingproblem #SleepDeprivation #Sleeptoomuch



Most people with one diagnosis also have another or two or three or 12. I am really struggling with disorders that like to fight with each other. I have Bipolar (2) Disorder, OCD, and recently diagnosed fibromyalgia (plus others). I get in depressive states that heighten my fibro pain and mind blanking and prevent me from satisfying my OCD. I fall behind of schoolwork just about every week because I work myself to death on my good days. My fibro and Bipolar disorder sort of steer the ship throughout the week and then my OCD panics and takes the wheel over the weekend because all my assignments are due on Monday. I overwork myself but manage to keep all A's which is the only way to keep my OCD somewhat content. As soon as Monday hits I am exhausted from the weekend and keep falling asleep during my classes. It is a vicious cycle that I can't seem to break.

What diagnoses do you guys have that tend to contradict one another? I'd love to hear your stories. Also any advice from people in similar situations would be greatly appreciated. #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Obsessions #perfectionism #FibroFog #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Sleeptoomuch #Sleeplessnight #MentalHealth

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Sleep all day. It’s bad again.

I slept for 15 hours yesterday. I always “joke” with my husband that sleep is death with benefits. You get to escape but you get to come back. I need help, I need to go back to therapy #Depression #Anxiety #Sleeptoomuch #passivelysucidial