ChronicAnxiety

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    Financial issues during Disability claim

    How do others manage the financial issues while you work on your disability claim? I've tried every service in my area and most of them aren't even excepting people at all besides for a waiting list. Some of us don't have family and friends to rely on which it seems like nearly all programs assume you have some help from family. You know how triggering that is when your family hates you for being the black sheep of the family!! 😡😰 I know there are plenty more people like me without a support system. How are we supposed to be able to help ourselves when the system is stacked against us. #DisabilityBenefits #disabilityclaim #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ChronicPain #ChronicDepression #ChronicAnxiety

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    Did go out with friend, #Depression hitting again

    Home again. Exhausted. #Fibromyalgia is acting up and I have a persistent UTI or something acting up that doctor wanted to wait to prescribe me anything more. Been to urgent care twice.
    #Depression and #Anxiety started while out with friend, just a slow mummur in the background. Than brain fog. Than anxiousness. Now I'm in bed exhausted and my emotions are everywhere. I feel crazy and stupid. I'm trying to stay calm and not #Selfharm or do anything stupid.
    I just feel as if I'm a failure. My brain and body is already throwing a fit. I want to cry. Why can't I be free of this? I really am spiraling fast. Suicidal thoughts are kinda acting up. Kinda. I won't do anything

    #ChronicDepression #ChronicPain #PTSD #ChronicAnxiety #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth

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    Work in progress 🫣☘️

    I'm a mess. But I think that's ok. Turning 54 on the 1/8/22. I feel so old. I feel like an 84 rear old. It's just a number. #DegenerativeDiscDisease #ChronicDepression #ChronicAnxiety #Psoriasis #nodularprurigo #OCD #MentalHealth #Arthritis

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    Starting therapy

    I decided to start therapy again for my anxiety and depression and my recent grief over my father. I'm a little nervous over it. I'm afraid I'm going to sabotage myself and not go. #Therapy
    #ChronicAnxiety
    #ChronicDepression
    #Grief #Loss

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    #BPD #Depression #ChronicAnxiety and Child Welfare taking my kids away

    My boys are a lot older than the ones in the photo but I chose that one firstly because it’s my favourite and second because it was during the happiest period of our lives.

    We’ve always been tight the four of us. Through thick and thin we weathered it all together with smiles, laughter and love. We didn’t have it easy but I tried to make sure they didn’t want for anything and never suffer. In spite of the challenges I loved every moment I spent with my babies. I love my babies period. Life was hard but we were happy.

    Until now.

    Last February I attempted to commit suicide. I’ve been on a decline over the last couple of years, sought help from mental health professionals. Voluntarily went into a psych ward for a while. I thought everything would be fine once I got out, not knowing the evil that was awaiting me back home. My boyfriend. Ex boyfriend now. Regarding him, suffice to say bipolar, alcoholic and dependent. Also beat me up when he got really, really drunk. After several visits to jail cells he got the message and stopped beating me and sought out other means of abuse. Add this to being suddenly diagnosed with #BPD as an adult, depression and anxiety. The daily challenge of raising autistic children. I snapped. Next thing I know I wake up two days later in the same psych ward I was before talking to a judge who’s asking me if I regret what I did. Automatically I said yes without knowing why. It was like I was there but I wasn’t. I was attended by the same psychiatrist that attended me the first time I was there. It all seemed surreal. I was supposed to be dead! Turns out my ex boyfriend called for an ambulance risking being caught, a judge issued a permanent restraining order against him in my favour after the last time he beat me up.

    Child welfare took my kids the next day and I haven’t had them home since. I only get to see them 1 hour a week. At first I was told by Child welfare that I should go get therapy and in a matter of months I’ll get my kids back. Halfway through my therapy they tell me that my kids will remain under their charge for an extended period of 2 years. This brought me straight to the psych ward emergency room. Major panic attack. Two hours of crying in literal pain as if my heart was being crushed. I was freaking out over the whole thing but also about the fact that I have never cried like that in my life.

    I still continue to go to therapy. Which is actually a group therapy. I’m an empath. Anyone who is too will understand how awful the experience is. Anyone who is not I’ll explain it to you briefly, I absorb the emotions of those around when caught off guard or when I am at my weakest. I have to constantly keep a tough wall around me to somehow detach myself from all the external emotions. But being in the fragile state that I am now you’ll understand that I’m not doing it well lately. I can’t tell you the number of times I had to run out of the room because I couldn’t breathe.

    I spend my weekends rolled up into a ball in my bed crying. Missing my babies like crazy. Only to get up Monday to go through the week of therapy and visits with my children all over again. The visits by tthe way are bittersweet. I’m excited to see them, hug and kiss them as much as I can in my allotted hour, when time’s up, my insides are all tied up and I start to cry unconsciously.

    Somebody said, this too will pass.

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    I need help.

    Hello, everyone. I hope you all are doing good.
    This is a long post but please read it if you can.
    I've been inactive here for more than a year now. Due to my mental illness, I was not able to keep up with things. Personally, and Socially. I need some advice and if anyone could help, that woul be great.
    I have completed my graduation and I'm about to complete B.Ed (Bachelor of Education), this is a degree that you need to have in order to go into the academic field. I want to become a professor. On fourth of July I'll complete my B.Ed and then I'll be eligible to teach in school upto class 8th as I have done only undergraduation and not postgraduation. After completing undergraduation and B.Ed, one is eligible to teach in schools upto class 8th in India, and if you have completed your postgraduation, then you're eligible to teach upto class 12th.
    But the thing is I want to be a college teacher (a professor) and for that I have to do M.A. (postgraduation) and then clear NET (National Eligibility Test) and after that I'll be eligible to teach in colleges. But I have to give an entrance exam to study M.A. and I was not able to prepare for it at all due to my increasing mental health issues. And now I've my entrance exam some time in August, most probably. And I can't prepare all of it in such a short duration of time. If I'm not able to clear the entrance exam this time, I want to take a drop year and study for the entrance and then give it again. But my parents are not supporting this decision. They are saying that if I clear my entrance exam this time, then I can study from Delhi. Otherwise, I can study from Raipur, Chhattisgarh. I've done my undergraduation from University of Delhi, and now I want to do my postgraduation from JNU (Jawaharlal Nehru University). Both these universities are the top most universities of India and after having the experience of University of Delhi, I want to get an experience of JNU. I've set my level according to that. And studying from Raipur, Chhattisgarh (where I live currently) is not appealing to me at all. The level of education over here is not as good as Delhi not is the environment.
    But my parents want me to get a job as well and their suggestion is that I apply for a job at a school and then do my M.A. simultaneously. But I don't want this. I want to do my M.A. properly, clear NET and then become a professor. My school teachers are also suggesting me to apply for a job at a school.
    All this is very confusing. My aim was fixed but due to all this I'm having multiple doubts. This is increasing my mental health issues a lot. I have depression and anxiety disorder and my self-esteem is becoming low day by day. It's getting worse with time and with so much pressure and confusion. If anyone of you can suggest as to what I should do, then please suggest, it would be of great help.
    Please tell me from the options below:
    1.) I should take a drop year if I don't clear my entrance exam this time. And then give it again next year. (The entrance exam is for University of Delhi and JNU (Jawaharlal Nehru University)
    2.) I should apply for a job at a school and then do my M.A. from Raipur, Chhattisgarh.
    3.) I should do my M.A. from Raipur, Chhattisgarh. Then clear NET and then apply for a job at a college.
    Or any other suggestion that you want to give apart from the ones mentioned above.
    Please help me.

    #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ClinicalDepression #Addiction #GettingHelp #MentalHealthAwareness #Selfharm #InsideTheMighty #ChronicDepression #ChronicAnxiety #ChronicIllness #CognitiveBehaviorTherapy #Therapy #Therapist #Psychiatrist #PTSD #Suicide #Depression #SuicidalThoughts

    4 comments
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    Information Monday: My Mental Health

    Hello everyone, Sorry I didn’t do information Monday last week.

    This week I am going to explain the type of mental Health I have. Ever since I was 16, I got diagnosed with chronic depression, After I got discharged from the mental institution. And then years after, I got diagnosed with Chronic panic attacks and chronic anxiety attacks.

    What helps me is writing. I've used writing to help me with what I am feeling. If you have Depression or suicidal thoughts, please reach out to someone you trust. And I encourage you to use something you love to express yourself. #MentalHealth #ChronicDepression #chronicptsd #ChronicAnxiety #chronicpanicattacks

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    #OCD #IntrusiveThoughts #deppresion #ChronicAnxiety

    Can’t take it anymore I’m on the verge of dying fuck it my mind can’t take it anymore nothing feels real my mind is my worst enemy it is what it is

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    #OCD #IntrusiveThoughts #ChronicAnxiety #ChronicDepression #PTSD

    I suggest you all listen to the audiobook the power of now , it’s on YouTube , I pray God helps me clear all this out my life but I also believe he wants us to help our selves also