I feel down
I feel depressed
I feel alone
I feel miserable
I feel nothing
I feel like I'm a burden
I feel like I'm falling under the weight of everything
I feel empty
I feel powerless
I feel hopeless
I don't even feel the urgency to live in the moment. No sadness, no joy. I have the impression of waiting for life, or waiting for death. To wait for things to change because I'm not there to change them. I feel trapped under life. Under the choices of this one.
Too often I'm afraid to live, I'm even afraid to die. Too crazy to really live her life. But not enough to stop it.
Wanting to cut yourself, without even seriously achieving it...
Because anyway, I never finish anything. Not even when I want what's good, not even when I don't want it. Simply taken here, in nothingness.
Stupid depressive feeling, which is not even intense enough to really suffer, to end it. Simply destructive enough to wipe out my advances and remain miserable here.
Who am I going to see? Who can really understand when even I feel like I don't feel anything... And I have no reason, or I don't see the reason why I feel like that.
Why are you not okay? I do not know. I just don't feel anything. Absolutely nothing. I want nothing. boredom surrounds me. I procrastinate again. I want to suffer to at least feel the heat, the pain...something quickly. I
During this moment, to physically suffer to forget, this state.
The pain is felt more easily, more quickly than the effort to really get better or the feelings hidden behind this familiar state.
Stupid, solid! 🤦♀️