Lonely but Living
Hi everyone. I haven’t posted in ages, but need to and more often for sure! I’m dealing with alot of things, and sometimes feel to tired or in pain to reach out in RL to get the help I need. It’s frustrating to know the things that would help me (some of them anyway!) but not having the energy to do do them. I spend most of the time here at home, but finally have gotten to the libray for the first time in two years—so thats one good thing! But getting out for the other things is hard because I never know how I’m going to feel that day. I wish that we could call doctors and say “I really need to see someone right now-heres whats going on”. Often I end up waiting until someone can see me, and if its weeks or months in the future, that doesn’t help me very much. Sigh…
Another thing is that going through everything from the bipolar depression to gastro problems to grief by myself is exhausting. In general I like living alone. But once my mental health stuff, physical health stuff, and grief collided, I was knocked on my butt and had no one to help me. Thank God for this site. It has been wonderful for me. Ive had support for the first time in years, and I’m so grateful for all of you guys.
But I have to admit that I’d still love to have help in RL. Maybe I will one day. I have to believe that I will. Until then, I’m hanging in there and lonely, but living as best I can.
Love to you all. ❤️