Trapped

#Trapped #PTSD #Ignored How do you not take things personally when whatever you try to do is never right?

I'm so just done with my home life. My mother and I aren't on speaking terms because of how she has been acting and she keeps trying to talk to me and I'm shutting her down because she is blaming me for the whole situation. I have a handful of people who care and believe me and no one else. I keep getting told by everyone to communicate but I keep trying to and I get shut down. What else can I do? I have been suicidal for four days due to my lack of support and dysfunctional parents. I have a cherry on top too! I'm sick and my therapist canceled our appointment today. #LGBTQIA #lonely #Trapped #Suicide #Parents

My cousin had decided to start end of life care.He was the youngest boy of a dozen grandchildren for many years,till one more boy came.His name,Mark.His older brother John.They lived on a farm,in the country,with alot of land.They were adventurous,smart and well mannered.They had girl cousins,alot of them.We all went together in groups of two or three.one Aunt and Uncle always had a set staying over.We giggled and played,giggled and whispered.Always plotting to play and stay longer.We had secrets amongst eachother.Hide n seek,freeze tag,truth or dare,Marco polo,climbing trees,making forts,cowboys and indians,Jail.Finding bugs,dead stuff and killing some stuff.Hot wheels,dinosaurs,Star Wars,E.T.. and that was before puberty struck.We all went different ways for a bit.
I was lucky to vacation with them.im grateful every day for the time with you,Mark.I was able to know you as a young man,not only the little boy.We kept Grandma up that night,us talking.You are, too strong for this.it isn't fair.You can stop and breath.Say the things you need to say.We are all going to be together again,I beleive this.it is all in what You believe Mark.We love you.

Most days are hard for me but these kind of days are terrible. I have things I know need to be done. I even planned what times to do what things. I'm desperately trying to stay on track. But my brain gets flooded by a million different thoughts and feelings. So many that I get so overwhelmed. Days like this, I often get stuck inside my head. Inside I'm having an intense battle with my depression, my anxiety and all my other demons. But on the outside, I'm just paralyzed. For a brief moment, I'll snap back to reality and realize I haven't even moved in a while. Then I'll feel lazy and guilty that I've just been laying in bed. Questioning myself on how I can be so tired while doing nothing. So I'll try to stay on schedule. I'll try to push through it and get things done. But I just get more and more drained. And eventually I find myself back again. Trapped inside my head. #Depression #anxiety #Trapped #Guilt

I didn't get much sleep because my boyfriend had it too hot in the room (we're in a motel because he lost his house) and I'm in menopause, and have hot flashes. I had to get up early because housekeeping was coming. I'm exhausted and feel sick. My boyfriend told me he's sick of housekeeping day because he has to remove stuff off my bed. I've asked and asked for bins and some help so I could sort things and put others in storage. He says hurtful things, ignores or interrupts me every day, snaps at me, etc. He sends me a few dollars on a Starbucks card so I can eat (egg bites) and drink for dinner, and three times he's sent ones that say, "I Love Annoying You." I wany my freedom, and I want to take my cats and personal property with me. He's told me I'm a burden, and I don't want to be a burden. Every place I've contacted tells me they can't help me because I've "got too much going on." My OCD limits me greatly, but I just want to move NOW. I have no money. I mean, I get SSDI, but it doesn't cover all my needs, which have worsened as I've grown older. I have more physical issues now. I want out. I want OUT! I WANT OUT! I'm not suicidal, so don't misunderstand. I'm terrified of dying. I just don't want to keep going back to him. There's so much more, but I'm so sleepy.

And no, I have no friends or family. Apparently, I'm an awful person.

#Abuse

I don't know how to describe this feeling. I feel trapped. It's so confusing and scary. I don't know what to do. I'm scared to come out to anyone, feels like a burden now.

When being trapped in your own head is the worst place for you to be yet you can't seem to leave sadly it's becoming like home to me I find myself there more and more and know one seems to notice or even care.. Over the years I've learned to fake happy very well.. I over think everything no matter how big or small hell I'm doing right now.. That voice in my head that never goes away she's always there and yes I did say she and she's not trusting not is she nice everyone is out to get her out to hurt her at least that's what she thinks ie me myself I use to call it my back bone but obviously it's not... I'm this way because of the shit I've been though in my life I've held on to so much pain and hate , hurt that I've lost myself and the person I was before I slipped into my own little world
#BPD # Anxiety # Depression #Trapped

When I try to think about or plan for the future, my mind invariably goes to how similar scenarios went in the past - jobs, goals, relationships, etc. The future feels impossible and the past feels oppressive, leaving me feeling trapped in the present.

When I shared this with a counselor this morning, her response was to ground myself in the present.

This essentially means to me that I am being advised to reflect on the features of my prison in order to feel less trapped.

I'm so tired of being stuck here. I'm so tired of being told to take one moment at a time. I'm so tired of feeling unable to move forward with my life.

#stuck #Trapped #pastpresentfuture #goals #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma