Warningsigns

May and October are what I call my "Manic Months". My mood will cycle around this time.

October 2020

My last full blown manic episode was without meds in October of 2020. I packed up my things and drove cross-country from Texas to Virginia to visit my friend. I was running on two hours of sleep and I traveled 12 hours each day behind the wheel of a car.

I didn't know I was manic at the time. The thing about Mania is that while it has it's symptoms, it's own warning signs- if you don't know them- it'll drag you under.

So I drove 24 hours over the course of two days on under 5 hours of sleep. I was textbook manic 1 but I didn't know because all this time I thought I was Bipolar 2- my meds were stable.

Fast forward to returning to Texas, my mom makes me set up an appointment with my Psychiatrist. I tell her about all the fun things I did. I wore a crop top, I spent $3,000, I drove cross-country by myself, and I didn't sleep or eat.

The diagnosis changes- I am now Bipolar 1. And all the meds change.

May 2021

Every May, I end up in a Psych ward, wasn't really sure why until last year. It's a manic month. When the world rotates around you, it spins you off your axis. This time last year I committed myself to a Psychiatric hospital for suicidal ideation and self-harm. I wanted nothing to do with this planet.

Was it the best outlook on life? Nah, not really. But Mania, steals your credibility. So I asked my best friend- now-boyfriend, to drive me to the hospital.

I spent a month working their program and learning how to be more insightful. Do I have it all figured out now? Heavens, no.

But I do know this: I know my triggers, I know my fears, I know my warning signs of mania.

And when those arise. I buckle down, I call my boyfriend, my mom, my support, and I say "I'm feeling a manic episode and I need more support". It's humbling, sure. But it also gives me power and autonomy over my body and my decisions. I get ready for the rollercoaster that's about to start.

#Bipolar1 #symptomsofbipolar #Mania #manicmonths #Warningsigns

When I’m entering into a #hypomanic phase there are things that I notice but shrug off.
(e.g. tinnitus, seeing stars, trouble sleeping and concentrating). I shrug them off because I am so focussed on powering through to whatever is on my mind.

How do people make themselves take note and take action against it?

I can’t understand how to do it and stay grounded

Any advice, tips or tricks would be massively appreciated #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2 #hypomanic #Warningsigns #grounded