Abusive

After escaping a 23 year marriage that was verbally, physically, and sexually abusive I took time off to get myself in a better place physically and emotionally.

I then wound up rekindling an old college friendship and I couldn’t have been happier. He swore that the most angry he ever got was to yell at someone. When we got engaged and moved in together, those things started to change. Now it’s to the point where he’s told me more than once that he doesn’t like to have sex with me because I ask stupid questions even if it’s six-8 hours after being intimate. He calls me names, has told me he’s breaking up with me and reminded me that my name is not on the lease so my son and I have to move, and punches holes in walls. Then, no matter how many times I explain that it causes me serious anxiety and means I can’t sleep alll night, he refuses to try and work it out that night. Then he wakes up the next morning and acts like nothing happened. If I try to work it out and he says i’m just trying to ruin his day or start another fight.
Is this kind of stuff just normal in a relationship? We’ve been engaged a few years and I’m now to the point where i’m wondering if this is right?

#sexual Assault #Anxiety #Depression #CPTSD #Abusive Marriage

My mom pasted away this past Tuesday. Her funeral is this coming Tuesday. She got what she thought was allergies on May 5th and then went down hill from there. It took my siblings and I a month to convince her to go to the doctor because she wasn't getting better. We found out at the very end, she had stage four cancer. How did she not know? How were there no signs or symptoms? I'm having anxiety about going to her funeral because my younger brother is one of those controlling toxic people. I had to block him on my phone because his text messages are abusive and all over the place. I come from an abusive family and I think that is one of the reasons I have pushed them away. I'm positive my brother is going to say stuff to me when I go to mom's funeral. I'm not sure how to handle him. He pushes and pushes until I can't take it anymore. He brings up things he knows will hurt me on purpose. My sister says that's between you and him. Then sa

He says y'all have never gotten along. But she doesn't get it because he doesn't talk to her like he does me. I'm so anxious I can hardly eat. #mom #Anxiety #Abusive #Toxic #nauseous #Funeral #cancerous

This is something I have been wondering with my family. My parents have abused me horribly, and yet I still find myself wondering if they love/loved me

I can recount positive memories and times where they showed it or tried to. They perhaps did love me in their own way, but not in a healthy enough way for my well being

I sometimes feel irked by the mentality that all abusive parents are incapable of love

#Abusive #abusiveparent #Love #unconditionallove

While going on a hiking trip, my friend’s husband kept abusing her by calling her a spendthrift(while driving his new car), gaslighting her and yelling at her. It made me quite uncomfortable.
Another time when we met at a restaurant, in the middle of lengthy conversation, as I kept talking about my recovery from ex husband’s abuse, he answered the phone and then said they have to go as their daughter has forgotten her home keys.
I even joked that he made it up, so wouldn’t have to listen to me further, and after I got home, my friend called and apologised for his behaviour, as he really made it all up!
What do you think about this?
#PsychologicalAbuse #Abusive

How many times have you told her you hate her, called her horrible names, wished her death and loneliness? How many times have you intentionally manipulated, abused her? ... Us borderlines, we know our people too well, we know their triggers, fears, how their mind works. I've used my amazing bpd gifts against her at most times. I love her very much, but it's a toxic kind of love. I'm tired of apologizing, and surely sick of her always forgiving me. I want to set her free. She doesn't deserve to live a life in my shadow, I am her burden. I am as heavy as a gravestone, crushing her.
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#BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Toxic #Abusive #AbusiveRelationship #Parents #Parenting #Depression #fears

"I'm not asking for anything unreasonable".
Quote from somebody else's post.
I needed that today. Long hx of childhood neglect by my mom & sexual abuse by my stepdad. Consequently gave & did everything for my own children.
Unfortunately- Bcuz i always put them (my children) first, they now, as adults, put me last, throw me under the bus, tell lies about me, ridicule me, mock me, insult & criticize me.
Putting them first was to me how a good parent should act. But it seems that doing that made my kids see me as a 2nd class citizen, not worthy of being put first, or Basic Caring & Understanding. I did it to honor them. They took my actions literally- as if in fact I did not matter.
Last week my daughter called me Narcissist for wanting to have a celebration for my birthday. She called me other names as well. Its getting to the point where maintaining relationships with my kids just ends up in abuse for me.
Dont get me wrong. I was no Wimp parent. There were consequences for actions and I did not allow my kids to treat me with disrespect when they were minors. But I would go without, so they could have what they needed. I supported & encouraged whatever they were interested in 100%. They had chores & we had a ton of Fun times.
But Now, I am nothing to them but a Commodity to use, should i have something they want.
Its hard- Im getting from my kids what i got from my mom. Feel like there is either something really wrong with me- or my Life is cursed- Lol. Struggling today.
Anybody else do everything they could to be an Awesome Parent- just to get Sh*t on by yr Adult kids?
& Plz no criticisms, judgements or lectures- full up on that from my kids!

My ex pain mngt dr. cut me off of Percocet after 8 years. I wanted to be off long before. I kept telling him I have pain and why did I still suffer? When my husband and I asked 3 years ago if I had fibro he scoffed at us. I tried medical marijuana, but the dispensary never had the strain I needed and it truly never helped. I’ve had many back surgeries including my last fusion which was a failed lumbar spinal fusion and then a hip replacement the next year. I’m now 53. I’ve also had an abusive childhood. Our daughter is moving out soon to another state to live with her loser bf bc she can’t take her brother. Our 22 yo son has major mental illnesses. He’s refusing to get help. He has outbursts daily. (Which I secretly record). We called the police on him the other week bc he constantly threatens suicide. He’s been smoking marijuana for years. We tell him he’s not allowed to smoke in our house, but he does. We don’t know what to do with him. He lied to the drs in the hospital saying it was just a misunderstanding. He does cut himself. He’s also a hoarder. Our son has become physical with me. He has at least 100lbs over me. I’m very thin. I’ve lost 50 lbs since coming off Percocet in the beginning of January. Both our kids will admit they’ve had a wonderful childhood. I made sure of that! I can’t tolerate the agonizing pain anymore. I speak with a wonderful psychologist once a week and have a psychiatrist managing my meds. I can no longer drive. I’m using a seated walker. I’m from the USA and our country is so divided. I am vegan so please don’t make fun of me. I really care about all animals. I went off FB bc the politics, horrible racism and people not wearing masks were effecting my mental health.
#Fibromialgia
#PTSD
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Childhood abuse
#Abusive and mentally ill son

this may help others notice signs of a toxic or abusive relationship, that they may not see due to their mental illness!