BeautyInPain

This isinspired by a writing webinar I participated in. I did something I rarely do, which is titling it.

Roses of my Soul

My soul is filled with roses in life with decay of different stages,
To see the buds, blossoms, and faded petals of other ages.
They tell a story of pain, sadness, grief, and growth in my life,
But with beauty comes thorns, soul bleeding from painful strife.
It hurts as my blood drains from wounds they've left behind,
Yet if I look closely there is no trace of an infection to find.
For the thorns that wounds create, a path is laid for healing,
Carrying away the decay that fallen petals were concealing.
Those petals fallen make way for buds long stunted to grow,
My soul thriving, new vines of hope releasing imprisoned woe.
The garden cultivated there will now bare much untold fruit,
As I learn to trust the winds of truth, my soul old lies now refute.

When I was a kid
My chest would fill
With intense pain
Every time I ran.

When I was fourteen
I got dizzy
And saw colours
Every prolonged stand

When I was fifteen
My fingers bent
Past normal and
I loved this misdeed.

Now I am sixteen
My chest fills
With intense pain
Regardless of speed.

(Costochondritis.)

I get dizzy
And see colours
Every time I stand.

(Orthostatic Hypotension.)

My body aches
And bends to lengths
Most can't understand.

(Undiagnosed.)

I never knew
I could survive such pain,
Going day after day
Feeling mostly the same.
And for this,
They give me pity
Because they see not
Where I see beauty.
They see broken hearts
And shattered dreams,
Not the ashes
Where fire starts
And where hope gleams.
Not for me,
But for humanity.
This slight synecdoche
Displays the cores of
Human sanity:
Our resilience
Determination
Ceaseless pliantness
And strong ambition.
We stop at nothing
To stay alive
We keep going,
Continue to strive.

#Poetry #survival #Costochondritis #OrthostaticHypotension #Undiagnosed #Hypermobility #Dysautonomia #Pain #Pity #sickofpity #Beauty #BeautyInPain #beautyinsurvival #shattereddreams #Hope #humanity #resilience #Determination #pliantness #adaptability #ambition #strive #Disability #strength #MightyPoets #strengthinpain #strengthinsurvival #Teen #Poem #poets #Writing

Something I learned this year is that it’s good to open up. I grew up with the idea I had to appear perfect. For so many years I was ashamed of myself and what I felt. But this year I’ve slowly opened up to people I trust, and it has been so amazing. Not only have I gotten some desperately needed support I had never experienced before, but I was able to help a person who has the same struggles as myself.

There is this idea that opening yourself up is weakness, but it is strength. It means you have the strength to be honest, the strength to fight, the strength to reach out. And by sharing our own struggles, we get to support others, and we get to fight together. That’s beauty in pain. #Depression #Anxiety #SuicidalThoughts #EmotionalHealth #BeautyInPain