Bully

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Really struggling today #CPTSD

TW disabilities and bullying

In my EMDR Tuesday I had a lot of memories resurface from the depths of my brain. Many of them were of people laughing at my disability from my accident and how I can't do various things. For example when I would find out I couldn't walk a few steps unaided that day and crumple down in a heap, why would you not rush to help that person up? Instead they got a mate and both pointed and laughed at me.
I had obviously tried extremely hard to bury those memories the wave of emotions that hit me like a trains I remembered more and more meant we had to stop the session early and try to calm me down. I had no recollection of many of them until Tuesday.
I've had to learn to laugh at my broken body and the strange way it lets me down or I would never stop crying. But for others to do so uninvited? It felt like I was back at my parents house as a kid when my family bullied me for my learning difficulties.
I have fought all my life against my learning difficulties and had to fight to even learn to walk again after my accident.
I think of all the aspects of my CPTSD these memories are the hardest how can people do such a thing? It's been absolutely devastating to feel what I felt all those times people laughed at my disabilities and I haven't managed to stop feeling like it since. My soul feels crushed and I'm really struggling to even breathe. I can't even summon the energy to fight my brain and insist it's all in the past.
Come back disassociation all is forgiven. #CheckInWithMe #Depression #Bully

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Co-vid and Christmas! #Gratitude

My #emotinallypsycholoicallyabusive spouse is receiving radiation treatment for prostate; he has continued to enjoy bar/social settings, despite his health status. My siblings were due to travel to my home for Christmas. He prefers they do not; doesn’t want a small gathering in his home. Aha! He is now miserable, having to, (I believe for the first time in his life) face the selfishness , double standards and hipocrasy that are #hardwired within him. Hmm…no way he’ll catch Covid in the neighborhood bar but he doesn’t want my family in my home; might catch Covid from them? He thinks his current misery is due to his holiday decision. NO! I told him. He’s feeling sorry for himself; he’s been a #narcissistic hpocritcal #Bully his whole life; these “tools” are not working this time!!! He’s grappling at straws, having to step outside of himself and face who he is.
Karma? Perhaps! His journey is his. Good luck with that dear.
#GAD #Depression #Bipolar1 ADDADHD
#PTSD

8 comments
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Adult bullying. It's a real thing.

Have YOU ever been the bullied one in an adult bullying situation? Was there a peaceful resolution?
#Bully #Bullying #adultbullying #MentalHealth #Trauma #PTSD #triggers

7 comments
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Bullying leads to Insecurities #Bullying #insecurity

If you notice my insecurities, thank you. It's a result from being bullied. I don't believe anyone chose to be insecured. There was a cause and somehow that became my reaction. It's been my reality for 25 years of my life. I don't know if bullying effects you more depending on age but it happened during my elementary days. The emotions I felt were betrayal, fear of abandonment, shame, and lost. I was totally outcasted. I cried at lunch because they called me the meanest things and threateoned to beat me up. Out of all the bullies, only one apologized and I think because of him, I'm not completely spineless. #Anxiety #Bully #Emotions #lost #FearOfAbandonment #noapology

10 comments
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Not good enough

Will I ever feel like I’m good enough? I feel like no matter what I do, or how successful I am, or all that I accomplish in life will just be pale in comparison to the shiny pedestal that I put myself on. There’s always going to be this voice in my head telling me everything that I’m doing wrong. How do I make it stop? #Advice #perfectionism #Anxiety #Bully #Depression

3 comments
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#Fear #Bully

There is a one who suffer from a mental disease
And he let a religion but he lives in a religious society and they abuse him and threat him and they make his case get worse because he let this religion
And he didnt get psycological threat
He suffer depression and he has a thoughts to commit suidice
This one is alone
He dont know what can he do

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#Fear #Bully

There is a one who suffer from a mental disease
And he let a religion but he lives in a religious society and they abuse him and threat him and they make his case get worse because he let this religion
And he didnt get psycological threat
He suffer depression and he has a thoughts to commit suidice
This one is alone
He dont know what can he do

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Growing up with depression #Depression #Child #Anxiety

Growing up with depression and anxiety as a child made me feel like I was.......
- Unwanted
- A Burden
- Bullied
- Lonely
- A disappointment
- Isolated
-Overworked
- I needed to perfect

#Depression #mychildhood #Anxiety #sad #mad #ancious #Bully #bullied #trash

2 comments