Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)

How do you guys feel about dating whilst chronically ill? I have been suffering from Long Covid-ME/CFS for 3 years now, and from a mixed personality disorder (+ autism) for all my life. Even before Covid, my dating experience as a sick/neurodiverse middle-aged queer woman has been difficult. With the fatigue syndrome things haven't become any easier. What's making it worse is that according to mainstream society, disabled and chronically ill folks apparently aren't supposed to have a love life at all, nor to want one in the first place. I see little representation of sick and disabled people who are dating and/or sexually active apart from the occasional token (mostly still young and pretty) person in a wheelchair.

So it's easy to doubt whether I get to have a fulfilling dating experience, or at least a try at it. I have been on dating apps for many years and they used to work for me as long as I was still able-bodied, young(ish) and pretty by mainstream heteronormative standards. Now, even being well enough to actually meet somebody for a coffee is a challenge, and tbh I'm not sure about an accessible pathway towards sex and intimacy, given that the old models including partying and alcohol are no longer accessible to me. I've recently had to cancel a few dates due to bad health and it makes me wonder if (and how) I am still able to enjoy fulfilling intimate relationships or even casual encounters. How do you guys go about it? What helps you to approach dating in a way that is respectful of your needs and limitations? What helps you with acceptance if you find it temporarily inaccessible?

Couple of things:

I could’ve sworn I made a post on Sunday, but I don’t see it in my activity log. If it was real and I didn’t just imagine it, hopefully it wasn’t offensive or off topic or anything.

Second, I struggle with knowing whether someone is being helpful or is just being negative. So I wrote this in my journal yesterday: Constructive criticism is considerate. Inconsiderate criticism is complaining. Complaining is ok if you admit that you are un knowledgeable on the topic and need advice. Otherwise it can derail progress and maybe get others stuck too? Idk, just something that popped into my head.

Third, I think I’m gonna just start to post every other day, because it’s tough to write a coherent post every day. I don’t have to have a reason or related concept to justify this, but I think the philosophy of the tao is good for this. If I’m not misremembering, it advocates for following the path that is most natural, or going with the flow and not forcing or resisting to the universe’s path. After hearing about the concept of determinism, I was a bit distraught at the idea that we could be simply playing out a sort of movie that appears to us to be fully in our control. Of course, we can never actually know for absolutely certain the future before it unfolds. But to hear that the idea of the universe having a path of least resistance being an millennia old concept was amazing to me. All this to say I’m not forcing posts unless I have something to say lol. 😂

Lastly, I was reminded of the genre of music called “city pop” that blew up during covid on streaming platform twitch.tv. The genre for me evokes feelings of driving during a temperate autumn evening when it’s the golden hour.

Song is Baby talk - Himiko Kikuchi

Track: m.youtube.com/watch

Hi, my name is Megan. I've taken a LOA from work due to PEM (symptom of Long Covid and/or CFS) and possible mold illness. I'm not sure how to live life in my current state. The exhaustion is extreme. Any suggestions?

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicFatigue

Hi, my name is dianadigslife. I'm undiagnosed and dealing with probable myositis as a result of long COVID

#MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder

Hi, my name is MightyMark1. I'm here because I am sad. I don’t want to get up in the mornings. I am 70 now. I’ve been raising kids since 28. I taught first grade for 25 years and then became a grandmother. I helped raise my first 2 grandboys for 6 years. When the last was in kindergarten, I wasn’t needed anymore. With Covid, I was excluded from the family. And with Wokeism, I was shut down and disregarded because we differed on EVERYTHING! I was told I could no longer be a part in the boys’ lives! I was no longer trusted! Nor Wanted!! I was devastated! And I still am—- 10 years later!!!!
My insides hurt tremendously! Overtime and until this day, the closeness we developed is now gone.
I have been divorced since 2000. I am alone. My kids live in different states. I’m not really important nor needed.

My youngest has a year old child. I’ve been caring for him since February. My son and I had a run-in. The result is that I am no longer needed. Day-care is taking my place. I was devastated!! A shock! The snap of a finger!!!

I’ve been so sad, shocked and very disappointed…. mixed with anger for three weeks now. And I can’t easily get out of bed and lost much motivation!!
Children thrill me! Especially my own! I try my darndest to be alert, active, creative, educational and funny!!! I love Hard!!!

Now my visits will be much less frequently. And it hurts! I won’t be teaching him and raising him. Strangers will! Our closeness
will lessen. He’s now getting to know me!!!

Im 70. How does one do for himself now? How does one begin a new life when the most important thing in life are the kids and grandkids????? I’m lost. In July, I felt the luckiest person around!!!!!! Now I’m alone with not much intention in it at the moment.

After I clean my windows, yuck, and reorganize my basement and repaint the walls, dread, what will be my next quest? Oh, hand-washing the car, in and out. JOY!!!

That’s my story. How do I get out of bed? Where do I find my joy again and motivation?

#MightyTogether

Hi, my name is GetInTheBoat. I’m reaching out to share my book Get In The Boat—a raw memoir I wrote to keep a promise to my father, and to offer a story most of us aren’t prepared for until it’s already happening.

My dad was a pastor. My mom had dementia. And during COVID, they were sealed in their home with no help—just the two of them, and the slow fading of everything they once knew. He bathed her. He fed her. He prayed over her even when she forgot who he was.

“This isn’t just a memoir,” I write. “It’s a prayer screamed into the silence.”

I didn’t write this to be polished or pretty. I wrote it because I watched a man live out a vow when love no longer looked like date nights or easy affection. I watched him stay when staying cost everything.

We live in a world that romanticizes instant connection and easy exits. But what does it mean to love when it's hard? When there’s no rescue? When no one is clapping for you?

I think readers—especially women navigating love, faith, family, and identity—would resonate deeply with this story.

Get In The Boat is honest, painful, and maybe even healing for anyone who’s ever wondered: What happens when the vow you made gets tested in silence?

#MightyTogether

After reading Lotuses comment this morning, It made me go back in time to my memories as well as experiences. Lotus, you do have talent in what your doing. Your writing brings out your emotional side which is great. And you question whether it will bring on fame. What I’ve learned is fame comes with a lot of baggage and stress. Your only as good as your last song , or in acting your only as good as your last Movie you starred in. It’s constant work, a different city every day. My first brother in law was the Bass Player for a headlining A list band, a good friend I went to school with was a lead guitarist for a A list band. Both are now playing the club scenes as age, a hard party life, and life on the road will take its toll on you. The Covid era took a lot of up and coming artist out of the music industry as many were forced to sell all their gear just to eat. I never had the inspiration to want any of that. The biggest crowd I’ve played for was about 5,000 people in my younger days. Some have asked “ were you nervous?” The truth is between all the lights and heads you honestly can’t focuse on any faces lol. Smaller more intimate playing you can. Just don’t hit the wrong chord as it’s more noticeable then lol. I’ve got a good friend who is a excellent guitarist and keys player and we’ve been considering what they call “ Busking” in the UK . Here it’s harder due to all the local ordinances. But we wouldn’t be playing for the money but for the love of music. There’s a old saying that if you’ve earned more money then what you spent on your equipment, then your a success. In that case I’m not lol. Look through you tube videos and see how many extremely talented musicians there are out there. And always remember, there’s a high price to pay for fame and fortune……David