DomesticAbuseSurvivor

I am a lifelong abuse survivor. A year and a half ago I decided I needed physical distance from my current abuser and locations of previous abuse situations. I got rid of 9 truckloads of my stuff and packed up what fit in my car, kissed my dog goodbye and gave my ex a hug and drove away to a state I had never been for more than a week and knew 2 people. It was rough. Hardest thing I have done. Fast forward. I found a place to live after over 3 months of crashing at a friend’s and here I am. On my own. Alone. Oh crap I have to actually be with myself. I found an amazing therapist and have really been trying to find a self worth and esteem. Well, I live in a basement apartment on a property with 3 homes. Both my upstairs neighbors and the other couple on the property are in abusive relationships. Today I was not feeling well and was at home when the neighbors began fighting and yelling in front of my door and windows and I was trapped in my own home and of course my phone strangely stopped working and I had no way to call anyone or receive calls. Triggered doesn’t describe it. I experienced the most severe ptsd response I’ve ever had. I was in fight or flight or both. I couldn’t call for help, or even leave safely. I feel really angry that even though it’s not currently happening to me, it is still affecting me and my life in a way that is very much impactful and not okay. I’m on disability and don’t have the resources to live somewhere else. My demons of abuse have found me.
#DomesticAbuseSurvivors

Hi everyone, I'm Tricia and I look forward to telling my story and how I coop now as well as learning new things I can learn from ya'll that'll help me deal with issues as life happens on life terms, God Bless #Addiction #Anxiety #OCD #PTSD #childhoodabusesurvivor #DomesticAbuseSurvivor #god #warrior #strongertoghter #Recovery

I’m having a very challenging day in the PTSD department. I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t think of anything else. All of a sudden memories a decade old are painful like they happened yesterday. Do I know what triggered me? Of course but it doesn’t make the sensation more pleasant #spousalrapesurvivor #DomesticAbuseSurvivor #PTSD #emotionalpain

I sometimes feel that people don't understand that even when you leave a toxic and abusive relationship you still have things and feelings to work through. You sometimes see the connection and sometimes you don't. But am I the only one who gets mad when they say that you have to stop living in the past and just get over it? I don't want to live in my past, but I want you to know why am I this way and some of this isn't me, it's the remains of the war I have just left. #9monthsandcounting

Usually I manage to focus on the very blessed relationship, career and life I have now. Even with all its challenges. Every so often the rage bubbles up. It’s not even what happened cause I’ve sort of come to grips with that. It’s the blame. I was to blame. If you ABCD he won’t do DEF if you lose weight/shower at the right length of time before he comes home/clean the kitchen/serve on China dishes/worship more/spend less/be more spontaneous etc.. guys it had nothing to do with me he was a very sick man tbe product of a very sick background #rant #Chat #listen #nojudgements #PTSD thanks for listening

I feel like a loser, a moron , pathetic.. I’d been working all week maybe two mentally, emotionally and physically preparing for a task (non medical) I did my research, got my equipment and got psyched into it. I could not complete it. It was to challenging, to triggering, to painful. Hubby stopped me. I feel like such a sell out , such a klutz, such a complete and utter loser

I gave as much as I can give. I gave my heart, soul, spirit, energy, interests , my whole self. I feel so used up. I feel like if I give anything more someone’s going to chomp off an arm and start chewing. I’m so intensely spent I don’t know what to do.. thanks for listening and not judging #allusedup

So, I was on call for work tonight and got pulled in for an extra shift. That’s bad enough. I had to float to the unit I detest and that’s worse. To make it worse I’m being totally taken advantage of by my partner. First she showed up forty minutes late. Then she took an hour dinner break. Now it’s over two hours on break proper. In tbe meanwhile I haven’t peed. I like to treat my coworkers well I deeply resent being taken advantage of. Thanks for listening