freshstart

So this is my first real post/story, but I figured no time then the present. Today is just a bad bad day, emotions are all over the place. Sadness and Anger switching back and forth and my abandonment issues firing like crazy.

You see 5 months ago my wife decided she wanted to separate, I'm not going into much detail about that for now as I just don't feel comfortable with that. So we didn't have the money for me to move out right away and have been

waiting for my father to finish the basement apartment at his house..Not the best feeling moving back in with a parent when you are 43 years old, but that's a hole other topic lol With the basement all finishes I move in tomorrow.

So you can imagine how my BPD is going today, I haven't been on my own away from my wife in over 15 years. And to top it all off, I have almost never not been around to put my 10 year old son to bed each night. So not only am I

leaving my wife of over 15 years that has always been my light in the darkness, but I will have some distance between my son and I. And we are not even going to start getting into not seeing are dog (Golden Retriever) and Cat every day.

I don't do change well and this is just so much change in such a small amount of time. And if today has me like this I can only imagine what tomorrow will bring, here's to hoping I can survivor more battles ahead with out losing my

mind or falling back into some of my addictive behaviors. I'm very fortunate to have a great therapist I work with and she has help me prepare the best we can for today. But no matter how hard you prepare it seems you are never

really ready for the type of emotional pain that comes with emotional dysregulation. But I have been battling these mental health conditions my entire life, so at least I know how to fight hard when times get bad like this. Another

day another story. Mines not done yet, but I sure wish it was a bit easier and no so lonely and isolating..;

#EmotionalDysregulation

#BPD

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

#mentalhealthwarrior

#freshstart

Hey! I'm new here and I'm already loving the Mighty! Just exploring and reading and Wow!I'm super excited to get involved..Can't wait to meet new people..(that actually relates)...to be cont.. It's a beautiful day for the world to see your
Smiles** make someone else smile today** We are beautiful just the way we are!! #itsfreetobefriendly #loveyourself