genderqueer

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This is going to be a long vent.. so I apologize.

I thought that my preferred clinic had a nonbinary option, but I remembered that it was only on one of their forms. The other form said “m or f” so I just put nonbinary on top of it (which was the only form I was given).

It just plain sucks. For example, earlier this year, I forced myself to change my gender marker to Male on my ID since I despise being seen as female, but even though I’m transmasc, it’s still not satisfactory. And while being there, I was misgendered as a woman a ton. 😒

We have to freaking wait for 3 more freaking years for a gender neutral marker in the US, and I’m so sick of waiting for that long already!

Shopping online sucks, too. Today, I was so mad that computer glasses were gendered. They’re freaking computer glasses!! And I still like some feminine stuff and being androgynous but hate that everything feminine is labeled “for ladies”. And although I know that clothes don’t equal gender, seeing those “women/girls” and “men/women” labels still trigger my dysphoria. And you may say “well, there are markets out there who make clothes gender neutral and aim for inclusiveness for those outside the binary”, but 1) most of them cost too much money that I don’t want to spend and we’re not rich, and 2) they’re not really my style of clothing.

And I hate when companies (or anything/anyone) say or put options for those out of the gender binary, but then don’t use gender neutral language at all, like “mom/dad” or the worst one, “ladies and gentlemen”… Like we don’t just want to be included in gender options, but in everyday language, too! Especially if someone’s interested in specific topics like bdsm and doesn’t want to be freaking fetishized for being trans like come on 🙄

I’m not a freaking fetish.

Anyway, this is the reason why I may appear anti-social and why I have my headphones on whenever I go outside. That and I tried to not made being nonbinary not do obvious, but no. Since from being misgendered a lot no matter what I freaking look like, I’ve had it and now my hat, mask, and patches clearly state that I’m nonbinary and to not call me miss, ma’am, or she. So that those who can read can see it very obviously. My social dysphoria is that bad.

Having to put up with this almost everyday is so tiring and annoying and just… ugh.

#nonbinary #genderqueer #GenderDysphoria #LGBTQIA #venting #itsucks #SocialAnxiety #Autism

I don’t really know what to say. I’m confused. I’m lost. I don’t have a gender that fits and I’m very comfortable with that - identifying as gender queer. I like to fluctuate. But my gender expression is so confusing. I don’t know what to do to make myself feel more comfortable and less dysphoric. A person I know is “microdosing” T, which I never thought about...but I just wish my body could shift without some other changes T brings. I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do.

This is kind of another part of my intro. I’m out to everyone, and thought I’d be open on here, too. I’m aro ace and agender. I don’t experience romantic and sexual attraction. My platonic (or queerplatonic, really) attraction is the strongest that I do feel. I would love to be in a qpr (queerplatonic relationship) in the future. A life partner to experience things together would be great. Gender doesn’t matter with this for me. Being agender means I don’t have a gender. I’m not a man or woman. There’s nothing there for me. I don’t even know what feeling feminine or masculine really is. I see them as styles. Almost like pretty and fun masks, but they’re not me. It’d be great if people refer to me neutrally. For instance, human, person, friend, guest, etc. My pronouns are she/her since it’s easier for others and I’m used to it, and they/them which is more accurate but still doesn’t feel ‘right’. Nothing truly feels right yet. I do have gender dysphoria, and a lot of gendered things get to me. My body feels like a patchwork doll sometimes. The positive part of that is a lot of the treatment for my cancer will help with my dysphoria. I plan to get a hysterectomy soon. Might be in the next month. I also want top surgery, and the way I need it will also help with taking care of the cancer. I do eventually want to get back to gender therapy. That way I can explore more of the social part of it, and feel more me. This pride month is quite different in many ways. I just hope it’s a good positive one for everyone. #PrideMonth #LGBTQIA #LGBTQ #aromantic #aro #Asexuality #Ace #qpr #Relationships #queer #agender #genderless #trans #Transgender #nonbinary #genderqueer #Health #Cancer

I recently going through some different labels regarding my gender identity and I think I'm transmasculine and genderqueer so yeah. idk gender is a confusing concept. lol. hope you're having a good day/night #genderqueer #nonbinary #NB #genderfluid #Questioning

[TW: Self harm]

"What's in your pants?"
the teens -
upperclassman -
assholes ask.
My gender is ambiguous
androgynous -
neutral -
obviously queer.
I say something back,
I do not hear my own voice.
Was it humor?
"Why don't you ask your mom"?
Was it flippant?
"None of your business"?

Or was it unrelated
to what they meant to ask?
I only wear
skinny jeans;
still air of winter,
damp sweat of summer,
the black skinny jeans
they assume as a phase.
The scars hide beneath,
running down my thighs,
the thighs I hate -
My hips,
too bony, too wide -
Welts and red marks and healing scars
and white lines
trickling down my legs.
From my stomach
to my curves,
to my knees,
to my heart
pumping blood
the scars running across it, too.

"What's in your pants?"
"What's in your pants?"
"What's in your pants?"

under my black skinny jeans.

#Depression#Anxiety#Selfharm#MightyPoets #Cutting #Scars #GenderDysphoria #trans #Transgender #nonbinary #genderqueer #LGBT #LGBTQIA