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Lost myself #lowselfsteem #Stress #Depression #Anxiety #solomumprettymuch

I suffer from a lot of negative thoughts about myself! Dealt with depression as a teenager but nowadays it feels a lot more harder and stressful caring for 2 babies as well as myself and having a partner who has no understanding of what goes on in my head he makes me feel like I’m making it all up or he says it’s just myself making me think like that??????? (Keep in mind I am from Nz and a Maori and mental ilness isn’t exactly something that is acknowledged) Lately I’ve been feeling like a failure, very unloving of myself and second guessing whether I’m suffering from depression.

This is my first everrrr post and I am very hesitant to post it. I don’t want to be too detailed because I am feeling very anxious as I type this but I want to learn to be able to speak about my anxiety and depression without tearing up or laughing it off. I am very all over the place right now but if someone understand where I’m coming from I would honestly love a chat.

I’m a mum who stays home 24/7, no friends, no family contact barely, who is eager to be comfortable being herself again but doesn’t know where to start?


What My Husband Does Not Know

My husband does not know he is good looking, and really could not tell you what attraction is. He has no idea how to flirt. He thinks a wink means there is something in your eye. He has no knowledge on "sexy time" unless a split is coming through. He thinks he is just him, nothing special.
Then there is me. I know I don't look it, but I can pick him up. I am over weight, and out of shape and look like a fucking lump.
Meanwhile bearded Adonis stands in tank and jeans, no idea that every woman and half the guys in the store just...well.
He folds his arms and stands up straight, and damn he looks like he could devour a woman alive.
And then there is me. The lump. Why would he even want to stand with me? I am as round as I am tall. I hate it and I am trying to fix it but I feel like I am always losing.
Women have stood between us, batted their eyes at him, tried to sit on his lap, even adjusted their cleavage to be seen by him. Yet he just sees me.
I don't feel worthy of him half the time. Him all godly, and mountain man-esque. Me a lump with a temper and no patience for bull.
Why would he even want to be seen with me? I don't want to be seen with me! He has no clue.
#lowselfsteem #Depression #Selfimage #Sexuality

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Scored poorly on an exam (again) and need some cherrying up

Well, after my brain froze and did the usual test anxiety thing, even though I was at home, I got a 62/100. I was hoping that I at least made the mean but I didn’t. So now I’m beating myself up.

I am tired of studying and studying to be presented with a multiple choice exam and fail or get a D. I understand the material and then just second guess myself. Most people don’t even understand why I hate multiple choice exams. This was a biology test and it’s been a 6 months since I’ve taken an exam, I forgot how horrible it feels.

Now I’m remembering how it feels and am just tired of trying to do well on exams. Studying doesn’t even make a difference because I preform just as badly due to anxiety if I didn’t study and just wing it.

Anyway, two more exams this quarter to go! And now I have a reading response to write and 4 chapters to catch up on for a class!

#sad #depressed #Anxiety #Depression #CheckInWithMe #testanxiety #College #lowselfsteem


Why am I not enough?

I've been feeling more and more lost lately. My S/O keeps watching porn even after seeing me breakdown and promising they would stop. It hurts. I feel like I'm not enough... not enough to look at, or good enough to please them... #Notenough #Pornkillslove #Anxiety #Selfesteem #lowselfsteem #help

See full photo

Let me share something

As we can see the photo on above
Encourage us to TRY
Last time I was always insulted by people who always asked me to do this and that
This was not a good feeling for me that time although they want me to become better
But yes, now we TRY...
That mean we all are allow to fail
We all are allow not to accept the fact that given
We may not agree and we can speak out as well
Anyway just have a try! Tell me your experience and I will reply you

#mental #illness #help #struggle #Depression #BPD #PanicAttacks #lowselfsteem


Sometimes, I don’t feel strong enough

There are some who do see me as a strong person, but most times I feel like that’s a lie. I wish I was as strong as the person the world sees, but I feel the opposite. Most times I put on a brave face so that I won’t have to say what’s really happening, sometimes that backfires. My mission in life for most of my teenage years up to now was/is to stay as “invisible” as possible or remain “anonymous” to the rest of the world. Mostly because in my mind, “me” isn’t very important, even though I’m told otherwise. #MentalHealth #negative self image #notstrongenough #braveface #lowselfsteem

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Does anyone else have trouble picking out their own clothes?

I haven’t always dealt with this issue, but it started a couple years ago and it’s just getting worse... I cannot pick out my own outfits. I lack the confidence, so I don’t even try anymore. I look to others for approval, but they’re started to get annoyed. It really makes me feel bad when they get mad because I don’t think they realize the reason for my not wanting to. My lack of confidence shows in every aspect of my life, but this is bringing me down the most. #Depression #lowselfsteem #Anxiety #confidenceissues


Ridiculous Conclusions

How do you guys think yourself out of things you know are not true, but your brain has made it apparent that it might be a real possibility? Any strategies you guys can think of would be appreciated. #SocialAnxiety #lowselfsteem #ImTrying


am i wrong, is my anxiety speaking? #axiety #lowselfsteem

i am married since few months, we are together for five years, and recently i started to feel like his behaviour towards me has changed, i feel a bit taken for granted and like if i’m not in his top priorities... i talked to him and he said it’s not true, he feels like he has not changed behaviour at all, yet i get steadily more irritated while together because i feel lonely, i feel like my declining mental health is stil not understood or accepted, up to the point i feel like my anxiety disorder and my low self esteem might be forcing not to see things straight. is it possible? anyone experienced the same? it’s concerning, i love and miss him all day long, he’s always in my thoughts, but when we are together i have moments where i feel alone or i wish i could be alone.