misunderstood

Just gave both legs SEVERAL cuts with my scalpel. Finally starting to feel relieved. Tonight was a shxt show 🩸😔 #misunderstood #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Selfharm

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I’m so sick of the common trope seen in media like many TV shows and games that portray teens as “they think they can do whatever they want”, as folks with an attitude, or as folks who just talk back to their parent(s). I’m 20 1/2 years old, I don’t have kids or teens, but even I know that this is bullcrap.

Please listen to teenagers, and for goodness sake, do not assume that them defending themselves or standing up for themselves is the pure same thing as having an attitude (my mother always made that same mistake when she used to be mentally abusive)!

Especially if they’re not fully straight/heterosexual, if they’re transgender/non-binary/genderqueer/etc., polyamorous or non-monogamous, struggling with or identifying as a part of anything else that’s outside the societal norm, struggling with illnesses, struggling with neurodivergence/disabilities, or struggling with mental health and/or trauma. Please, I beg you. Don’t ignore them or excuse them for these ignorant stereotypes!

#TeenagersDeserveBetter #Family #psa #MentalHealth #Teen #teenager #teenmentalhealth #LGBTQIA #listen #misrepresentation #Anxiety #Trauma #misunderstood #Stereotypes

If one more person says that I’m too old for this, or that I should be over it by now, or “that’s still going on?” I’m going to completely lose it.
Way too many people think self injury is a teenage problem and that it’s just for attention and that you’re gonna get “bored” and grow out of it. And when they see me, at 39 years old, still struggling, in fact a lot worse than when I was in high school, they think that it’s my fault. They assume that I just haven’t tried hard enough or done the right things or that I’m just being immature cause “adults don’t do that kind of thing”. It makes me furious, because I know that it’s not me who has failed (well, I mean, I have, but that’s besides the point), it’s the stupid, broken system that has failed me.
I am fully aware that no one can save me from myself, that I need to accept responsibility for my actions, etc. But this is an actual addiction. No one looks at alcoholics or people with drug addictions and says “really? You’re way too old to be addicted to that!” or “grow up already! Aren’t you tired of that yet?” They pick them up and clean them off and take them to rehab where they’ll spend a month or 2 and come out the other end good as new. What I wouldn’t give to be able to check in some place and have someone take care of me long enough to be able to call myself recovered. That kind of place doesn’t exist, or if it does, I’m probably too old to go there. Not like I could afford it anyway. Rehab, of any kind, really is just for the rich and famous.

Sorry that this is such a big, long rant…. I was due for a good venting session.
But seriously? How many of you agree with me? Or, can I just ask- if you’re comfortable with it, could you put your age in the comments? And how long you’ve been self harming for?
Thanks

#Selfharm #Selfinjury #Ageism #Unfairjudgement #pleasehelpme #misunderstood

When I was young I would excel at everything I did. I would work extra hard to make sure I seemed to always excel. I spent my school holidays reading ahead and so to everyone it seemed I had it easy. Eventually I burnt out as I started my adult life. Anxiety and fear of starting anything that I could not prepare in advance crippled me. Anything that seemed like I could not get a hang of it fast scared me.

Eventually I crumbled under the weight of it all and completely lost 3years of my life where i could not do anything. I eventually got help but since people dont know my story they just look at me judge. They tell me that they expected me to be a "successful" person and nothing came out of it. Its easy to say i dont care what people think of me but i do. In the end it makes me anxious to see people and feel judged. An entire day outside bumping into people i once knew or anticipating the possibility of bumping into them leaves me emotionally and physically drained.

Starting something always seems daunting as I feel so behind everyone in life. A culture that does not acknowledge mental health makes this so much worse. Some call it laziness, some say its possession and some say its generational curses or family curses. I feel like i am now just rumbling.

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I swear, my older sister just doesn’t seem to freaking understand how hard it is for me to let things go and tell apart different tones. She says that she does, but every time she always seem to get defensive about it. Every time I try to bring up about the current situation that is bothering me, she’s already in some sort of negative tone saying “it’s okay, just let it go.”

And whenever I try to bring up something that may be triggering, she always says that she doesn’t mean any harm. And when it comes to her, at this point I don’t care, I still don’t want to hear that trigger. And it freaking frustrates me for just not giving me a straight answer and instead being defensive like this.

What’s worse is that she even deals with one of her kids having autism and ADHD. So you’d think she’s understand more, right? And she says that she does, but this crap is just not sitting right with me. 😒

I already deal with a lot a crap right now. I just dealt with an appeal for why I can’t get a job right now (although I hate my autism being called a disability/disorder), I hate being misgendered as a woman or seen as just a man (I’m nonbinary), I have social anxiety, I cry easily, I dealt with trauma my since middle school and from my mom being mentally abusive (she no longer is anymore, luckily), I’m a perfectionist towards myself for, it’s just a lot. I’m just trying to stand up for myself the best I can, and anytime I do and it seems to backfire or not going anywhere, it feels like a crime for being autistic… 😢

#Autism #SocialAnxiety #thissucks #misunderstood #why #PleaseStopThis #IWantToMoveOutOfHereAlready #StopMisconceptions

As the days pass I’m finding myself convincing myself that I’m better off alone. My favorite artist “rod wave” has a new song “alone”. I feel the pain in that song because I too feel worthless Like I ain’t worth ish. Wake up everyday work hard do your best and it’s never enough. No friends. No shoulder to cry on at night. Just always feeling like you always gotta overwork and prove something that in the end never seems to matter anyway. Work sucks. I think I’m not meant to be happy. I believe in God but I feel invisible to him. Like I’ve come so far. And it still feels pointless! I saw 2 rainbows today and I just want to know when will I feel happy! I feel I’m loosing control and I have no place or no one to understand me, love me or accept me! I have no place that feels like home. Im so sad but on the outside you would never know! #nothingleft

I see this a lot, and can only speak for those with BPD, but it’s more correlation than causation. Trauma during development can cause a slew of mental health issues down the line that are not even related to personality disorders. I had what one might call an “ideal” childhood, yet this disorder has ruined my life as an adult. Just don’t feel as though you HAD to have trauma during childhood to fit the diagnostic criteria for BPD, because in fact, it isn’t needed for the diagnosis.
#PersonalityDisorders #Trauma #BPDDiagnosis #misunderstood