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Live a Little

Hello Everyone.
It has been a while since I was last here. I used to post regularly, but things got caught up. My father passed away last year in #2022 and it was not fun. I was very #sad and did not know what to do. #Grief is never anyone's friend. Sometimes you have to live a little and let go a bit. Tonight I was #Thinking about #Life and all of the #wonderful things that exist. I also think about all the #horrible things that have occured.

I have been #focused on the wrong things lately. Especially with a recent #Diagnosis of #ADHD and how my #Brain never shuts up.

I wondered if I was insane sometimes. I have been #sick a lot the past month and even now. It feels like every other week I am sick with something (virus, stomach problem or a cold). I think I am #okay though. I am going to #KeepMoving forward.

How are you all doing?


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Embracing the Roomba

Mom passed 7 months ago and grief isn’t simple (for anyone). Since early May, my grief has tangled so tightly with my bipolar depression, anxiety, aging, chronic pain, and highly sensitive nervous system that I’ve been left with a knotted ball, growing heavier and heavier.

I move between rooms of our home, no routine, no logic. I will do one-quarter of a task before leaving for another spot where I’ll notice another thing to do and before it’s finished I retreat to the couch. It's a great deal like a Roomba (and if I could fit under the couch like the Roomba, I'd hide there some days).

In one room I will cry because I can’t tell if it’s a King sheet or a Queen and leave the bed unmade. So I'll pull out all my nice Sharpie markers to draw but then can't think of anything to doodle. So, I'll go for a walk only to turn back by the end of the street because I’m just too physically weak (or it’s much hotter than I thought). Eventually, I'll make it into my office to edit an essay but go online to research my local politicians instead. Soon I'll start crying again and go outside to pull weeds. On the porch, I’ll read a single paragraph of the same book I’ve started and stopped four times since Mom passed and then give up and take out the trash but not the recycles.

Perhaps it is post-pandemic, empty-nest, aging-brain induced ADD? I am certain my friends and family with ADD can relate to this Roomba feeling. Grief itself brings a disorientation as the brain accepts that someone should exist that does not anymore.

And while I’m not ready to call this thought "hope," at least today, in this moment, I find comfort in the ways of little Roomba:

move forward a little at a time,

spin away from obstacles to find another path,

be patient with the process, and

return to base to recharge your batteries.

#Bipolar #Grief #funwithanalogies #patience #Depression #OnedayAtaTime #Analogy #KeepMoving #rest

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Hello, me. I've been waiting for you.

I have ideas in my head. So many ideas. Good ones!

My brain holds books that I've written. Businesses that I've dreamed up. Problems that I'm going to solve for the good of humanity.

Just one problem. I haven't found that perfect someone. A business partner who will keep me on task and on track and who is willing to take a chance with me.

Until now.

I recently discovered that the perfect someone I've been waiting me. I'm the one who has been holding me back (or is it my nagging anxiety and negative self-talk?). Equally, I'm the one who can propel me forward and hold me accountable. I'm the one who is taking my first (baby) steps forward.

I know I have it in me. And, so do you.

#Anxiety #selfcare #Motivation #dosomethingsmall #KeepMoving #Selfesteem #progress #MentalHealth #mentalhealing

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Truth is we’ve all got “stuff”.

Truth is we’ve all got “stuff”. We all have bad days and good days and if our cup is full it’s easier for the small things to pour over and become big things. A bad day doesn’t mean a bad life or even a bad week. Each day is a new opportunity to start again. So you had a bad day or two, start again on day three with doing something you absolutely love or be with someone that radiates positivity in your heart that maybe you haven’t seen in awhile. Truth is when you have things like anxiety or depression, getting out of your head and out of your bed is an accomplishment and that’s okay. Then when you’re ready, take another step into bettering yourself, go for a walk outside, take a hot shower, drink your coffee outside instead of inside, set up an intake with a therapist your friend recommended, eat a little healthier, the point is if we work towards becoming better each day even if it’s just a little bit, it can get us to where we need to be, don’t let your mental health define you. #KeepMoving #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #positivethoughts

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Awe... this is my Loki when he was a younger pup!
If only he knew how much he has changed my life and help comfort my heart through the loss of my Tucker boy!
I love him to the moon and back!
#Fibromyalgia #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #KeepMoving #unconditionallove #MightyPets

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Gratitude Journal Makeup ✨

Sometimes you have a day. Yesterday was mine. I missed my gratitude journal, and hardly made it out of bed but I am here today to say that I am thankful that today I am right back here. I got up. I pulled myself out. Sometimes that's all you can do.

#bkessed #depressed #stressed #lifehappens #KeepMoving