Real

Today I am wondering if I am really a mess or just making it all up. I really don't know anymore. I feel so alone and powerless and I am questionaing whether any of my problems are valid or if they are problems at all. I can't tell if I have been having an undending pity party or if I am really screwed up and I am broken AF.

#Real event ocd
#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

#SchizoaffectiveDisorder
I didn't know that I was VERY manic for years, plus the schizophrenia. When my meds were changed from stimulants(except klonopin) to brain candy it feels like my whole life was a delusion! What do you do when you never remember waking up. Does it ever get better?

I stumbled upon this App and am an introverted person with anxiety and depression. I keep most everything inside and rarely speak up for myself. I know I’ve given away and up too much to make others happy and I’m not happy, not really. I laugh and smile most of the time and do enjoy life and things. However, I feel it is all a facade. I’m really good at make believe I’m learning. I’ve been in therapy on and of for 20 years and attended for at least that many years in ACOA and CoDA meetings, workshops and conferences. I darn well know better and yet... I’m still afraid of hurting other people by speaking my truth, asking for what need or just being me. I just am pissed off at myself and I am hoping a space like this will help me to FINALLY break through and just be REAL.
#52SmallThings
#Real #Hope #Therapy #Selfesteem

Why would this be?

Thigh bones stick out, sharp and defined... Back and shoulder blades are visible the eye... You can easily move your finger down their spine... No pressure is needed, to feel their bones from the outside... You can see their hollow cheeks... And you can see the emptyness, in their eyes... You can see their silent plead for help... If you only looked closer... If you only took the time... They say they already ate... Or they're just not hungry... In some ways they say truth... But they also speak a lie... They say they ate... But the question is, when...? They may not be hungry... But for how long, will their hunger subside...? How long, till they fight the hunger once more...? How long will they last...? Why don't you see past their disguise...? Why can't you open your eyes...? Open them and see... See all the things they hide... See the way they long for food... See the hollowness and the silent cries... See the clear signs... Those signs, that are only visible... If you have the eyes... And an open mind... #AnorexiaNervosa #Anorexia #EatingDisorder #Poem #mightypoems #MightyPoets #poems #Real #realpoetry #Poetry

It’s tough to be alive when you can’t get a decent job
It’s tough to be alive when no one believes in you
It’s tough to be alive when every job you get gives you 12 hours a week
It’s tough to be alive when you can’t get SSI even when you can’t keep up
It’s tough to be alive when you feel tired all the time
It’s tough to be alive when you can’t afford a doctor
It’s tough to be alive when you hurt all the time
It’s tough to be alive when you can never pay the bills
It’s tough to be alive when you depend on others to survive
It’s tough to be alive when you feel like a burden on them
It’s tough to be alive when you have fibromyalgia
It’s tough to be alive when your mind is always slow and foggy
It’s tough to be alive when you cannot find mental help
It’s tough to be alive when you cannot drive
It’s tough to be alive when you see so much suffering and cannot help
It’s tough to be alive when you have depression and feel ashamed
It’s tough to be alive when you are shamed for your real feelings
It’s tough to be alive when we have a world of selfish bitter people
It’s tough to be alive when people are so greedy and impatient
It’s tough to be alive when people are mad at you all the time
It’s tough to be alive when there is no help out there
It’s tough to be alive when you cannot move due to the pain
It’s tough to be alive when your cheeks tire from faking a smile
It’s tough to be alive when no one notices you

#Depression #Real #Anxiety