transparency

This photo shows me doing one of my favorite activities: top rope rock climbing. On the outset, you see me, belaying my climbing friend and my service dog, Griffey, laying by my side. I see the body that is imperfect and overweight, the thunder thighs and insecurities that plague me day in, day out. I see a girl who yearns to be skinny again and athletic and strong and capable.

I should be better about staying off toxic social media sites, such as any Instagram accounts where I can compare myself to peers. I feel so inadequate and ashamed, for everything I’ve done in my life and how stupid I am for the mistakes I’ve made. I feel sick to my stomach that the majority of my peers are engaged or married and here I am, single as ever and wondering, why am I not good enough? Will I ever be enough for anybody?

I want to be better. I want to be prettier and skinner and more athletic and healthier. I want to be loveable. And I’m tired of being shamed for being single by my families expectations of me. I want to be better and sometimes that thought in and of itself leaves me drained and wishing I had ended things a long time ago.

#Depression #Anxiety #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Dysautonomia #MightyPets #ServiceDog #Truth #transparency #Suicide #honesty #Relationships #EatingDisorders #AnorexiaNervosa #CheckInWithMe

The world needs more love, people need to be kind, more loving, less hateful. More understanding and less judgement. No matter the circumstances continue to show love... someone, or anyone might need it.