weight

I am a 25 year old female.
I used to weigh around 65 kg.
I went on birth control for my epilepsy (the need for hormones)
And now I am 74kg.
I can’t fit any of the clothes I used to feel so good in. So now I try to wear oversized clothes cause I don’t want people to see my tummy. (Also coming into winter again, I want to be able to wear my favourite jeans but I don’t think that’s going to happen.)
My tummy pokes out, and I have a muffin top again.
I used to be able to look down and see my private part and feel confidant in my body . I used to have abs, I used to be skinny enough to see my muscle tone in my legs and arms, I used to feel beautiful. Now i look down and I hate what I see. I hate looking in the mirror. My double chin has come back and it makes me embarrassed some days when I think about what people see. I hate trying on clothes cause I used to be size 10 now I’m size 14.
The worst thing is, I have an active job. Using muscle and sweating everyday. So I take that as my exercise.
I hate going to the gym or doing sit ups or things like that. I got skinny so easily, it just happened, I didn’t even notice. And now I gained weight back so fast, it’s horrible.
I wish I could feel that confidence in my body like I used to.
My sister has just had a baby and looks better than I do for god sake 😣
#WeightFluctuation #weight #BodyImage

I’m in the process of creating new habits like exercising , eating healthier and adding creativity to my daily routine.

6 months ago I found myself driving myself to the emergency room instead of going to work . I knew my thoughts were out of control and calling to talk to a supportive friend wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
I have a beautiful life and with undiagnosed mental illness I’ve never been able to enjoy a minute of happiness ( I couldn’t even describe what that felt like) .
Since a young age I’ve always felt something wasn’t right but no one had a answer for me . I’ve been clean and sober for 18 yrs with the help of 12 step programs and alot of hard work . My life is very blessed now .
Untreated mental illness almost killed me . I went to the emergency room in tears asking for help , I hadn’t felt that much desperation since the day I cleaned up 18 yrs ago .
I was admitted and spent 2 weeks in the hospital and for once a dr agreed that I had more going on than just anxiety.
The combination of medication I’m on works . I get to feel hope .
These medications come with some side effects like weight gain . I’ve gained so much weight it’s almost depressing ( I use the term almost because I know what real depression feels like and this isn’t that) .
I looked at myself in the mirror and cried angry tears . I finally get to feel good about life but the trade off is this …. Fat . That’s the word I’m using to describe myself. Why can’t I just win for once in my life ?
The truth is I’ve won a lot of battles including this one . With having my mental health in check I have the ability to make positive changes like creating a exercise routine and changed eating habits . My years of untreated mental illness had me with some terrible routines and barely eating at all and sleeping most of the time .
I can get through this with patience knowing it’s going to take time to see results. This won’t be a instant gratification of immediate results but I’m willing to do extra to win this new challenge.

They think the hearing loss isn’t because of the ear infection, and after saying no for 5 years I finally said yes to surgery. Waiting list is at least 6 months.

Doctors appointment tomorrow to see what they suggest for the weight loss and bruising. I wonder if they’ll think it’s a relapse of my ED. I never realise them myself.

#bruising #bruise #weight #WeightLoss #ED #EatingDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #ent #Surgery #HearingLoss

I’m a lupus sufferer or sjorgrens, GERD, slow gut motility and depression but you can call me Lisa.
Currently I have 110 things going on. Which of course I’m happy to go into whenever you may find me awake.

So I want/needs to get back to moving my body. The thing is I have a complete mental block with my relationship with it. I have now piled on the lbs which hits the circle of depression around and around. I do believe it’s manifested into a binging habit.
What can I do to ease myself into it and not break my soul, fails make another 10 excuses.
I would love to hear anyone’s #stories , #inspirational quotes, #help #weight

Today I looked in the mirror for the first time in over a year. I have noticed my belly is full of strechmarks, red and raw... I know this isn't the end of the world but when I left my abusive ex 5 years ago, I honestly thought I would lose weight and learn how to be happy. Instead I am at my heaviest ever and miserable, which triggers my anxiety, which makes me stress eat... thus never allowing me some kind of peace
I just want it to end already ffs #weight gain #Depression #depressed #Hatemylife #Hatemyself #someonepleasekillme