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    Happiness is Not Automatic

    "You know it's not the same as it was" -As It Was, Harry Styles

    Real talk, the bottom picture was taken in late 2020 when I was about 15 pounds heavier. The top picture was taken yesterday. While, yes, I advocate for loving yourself at any weight. I do firmly believe that HEALTH is vital. And my health was declining in 2020. I had just been diagnosed with lupus and my meds were unstable for Bipolar. Since November of 2019, my health has been an uphill battle between my two illnesses.

    In May of 2021, I fought the battle of my lifetime and lost the 15 pounds through stress (10/10 do not recommend). My meds were changed to stabilize my mental health. But my lifestyle changes kept the weight off. I walk more, drink more water, and I no longer gorge myself to the point that I want lay in bed in a food-coma, I go out and I do the things I enjoy- I take photos, I'm learning to drive a manual car, I spend time training my dog, Beyla.

    I can honestly say that after a month long stint in the out-patient psychiatric hospital, a major career change in February 2022, and a lot of self-reflection, I am so much happier. Happiness is not automatic, it takes work and dedication to your recovery and health. And even then sometimes... "Shift" happens. #Lupus #Bipolar1Disorder #Bipolar1 #Bipolar #ChronicIllness #WeightLoss #weight #loveyourself

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    Medication weight gain #weight # medication side effects #New habits

    I’m in the process of creating new habits like exercising , eating healthier and adding creativity to my daily routine.

    6 months ago I found myself driving myself to the emergency room instead of going to work . I knew my thoughts were out of control and calling to talk to a supportive friend wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
    I have a beautiful life and with undiagnosed mental illness I’ve never been able to enjoy a minute of happiness ( I couldn’t even describe what that felt like) .
    Since a young age I’ve always felt something wasn’t right but no one had a answer for me . I’ve been clean and sober for 18 yrs with the help of 12 step programs and alot of hard work . My life is very blessed now .
    Untreated mental illness almost killed me . I went to the emergency room in tears asking for help , I hadn’t felt that much desperation since the day I cleaned up 18 yrs ago .
    I was admitted and spent 2 weeks in the hospital and for once a dr agreed that I had more going on than just anxiety.
    The combination of medication I’m on works . I get to feel hope .
    These medications come with some side effects like weight gain . I’ve gained so much weight it’s almost depressing ( I use the term almost because I know what real depression feels like and this isn’t that) .
    I looked at myself in the mirror and cried angry tears . I finally get to feel good about life but the trade off is this …. Fat . That’s the word I’m using to describe myself. Why can’t I just win for once in my life ?
    The truth is I’ve won a lot of battles including this one . With having my mental health in check I have the ability to make positive changes like creating a exercise routine and changed eating habits . My years of untreated mental illness had me with some terrible routines and barely eating at all and sleeping most of the time .
    I can get through this with patience knowing it’s going to take time to see results. This won’t be a instant gratification of immediate results but I’m willing to do extra to win this new challenge.

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    Back on the waiting list

    They think the hearing loss isn’t because of the ear infection, and after saying no for 5 years I finally said yes to surgery. Waiting list is at least 6 months.

    Doctors appointment tomorrow to see what they suggest for the weight loss and bruising. I wonder if they’ll think it’s a relapse of my ED. I never realise them myself.

    #bruising #bruise #weight #WeightLoss #ED #EatingDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #ent #Surgery #HearingLoss

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    #Fibromyalgia #weight Cravings

    I was wondering if any of you have found that since being diagnosed with fibro your cravings have gone bonkers? I take cbd and I dont know , my cravings for chocolate and chips have gone overboard. Do you have any ideas on how I could help stop them ? Also if you are interested please join my group at fibromyalgiafriends !

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    Exercise

    I’m a lupus sufferer or sjorgrens, GERD, slow gut motility and depression but you can call me Lisa.
    Currently I have 110 things going on. Which of course I’m happy to go into whenever you may find me awake.

    So I want/needs to get back to moving my body. The thing is I have a complete mental block with my relationship with it. I have now piled on the lbs which hits the circle of depression around and around. I do believe it’s manifested into a binging habit.
    What can I do to ease myself into it and not break my soul, fails make another 10 excuses.
    I would love to hear anyone’s #stories , #inspirational quotes, #help #weight

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    New strech marks = mega depression

    Today I looked in the mirror for the first time in over a year. I have noticed my belly is full of strechmarks, red and raw... I know this isn't the end of the world but when I left my abusive ex 5 years ago, I honestly thought I would lose weight and learn how to be happy. Instead I am at my heaviest ever and miserable, which triggers my anxiety, which makes me stress eat... thus never allowing me some kind of peace
    I just want it to end already ffs #weight gain #Depression #depressed #Hatemylife #Hatemyself #someonepleasekillme

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    Weight issues #weightproblems

    So I’ve been struggling with my weight all my life I’ve never been small but I’m not big either, right now I eat under 1500 calories a day and I go for walks 3x a day for a minimum of 15 mins. I have ibs, I’m lactose intolerant and adhd. With the food I eat, I should be dropping weight with no problem.
    The thing is over the past 2 years I’ve gained up to 20 pounds. I started two years ago at 140 ( great weight) as of today I’m 166 (it’s okay)
    On the BMI chart I’m obese, like being 5 foot even doesn’t work with the chart and I know that.
    It’s just a little frustrating when I get all these tests done like my thyroid and it comes back normal.
    And no one can explain how me eating healthy ( living with a dietitian) and going for walks 3xs makes me gain weight
    Does anyone else struggle with this #weight #UnknownDiagnosis #frustrated

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    Corticosteroid weight gain #weightgain #weight #BodyImage #Depression

    I was on corticosteroids for about a month and even though it was such a short amount of time I've gained so much weight I've had to dig out old clothes I thought I'd never need again after so much hard work for months getting into shape and I'm furious with myself, depressed, beating on myself literally and figuratively, you name it. I know it's common on these meds and that I needed the meds, between the craving food (especially bad food) and just the body just doing what it naturally does on steroids, but I worked so effing hard for NOTHING, and now who knows how long it will take to reverse it. Especially considering my worsening back problems. I hate myself for enough other things. I finally gained some semblance of confidence in myself and now it's squandered.

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