cerebalpalsy

Not too long ago, I reconnected with a friend that I hadn't spoken to in over a year. He had gotten me thinking about certain things that he pointed out was happening in my life. Listening to him made me stop, look, and listen to something that is going on in my life.

And that was my own emotional dependancy.

I hadn't realized that this was happening to me because it is usually tied to romantic relationships.

I hadn't realized that I had become dependant on my best friend. I became tethered to his every word and was looking for his support whenever there was a bump in the road in my life. And when he couldn't give me the support that I needed, I would crash and feel like I had been abandoned.

I am now starting to realize that believing and wishing that someone will wake up one day and suddenly know how to support you and talk to you isn't healthy. That being hinged on someone that won't listen to you isn't the best thing for you.

That I can't control what he says or does, and I have to let go of the ideal and the potential I see in him.

Because if he doesn't see it, then who am I to keep telling him who he is? #emotionaldependency, #cerebalpalsy #Stroke #PersonalGrowth

After witnessing my twins fighting for their lives and living their first 7 months in the hospital, the social-distancing we are living today has came without difficulty. We have been unknowingly practicing social-distancing since my little ones came home from the hospital. My twins were born 26 weeks weighing under 2 pounds and where on oxygen for the first month and after to survive. They are considered the most vulnerable due to their lung complications and other medical conditions when born. My husband and I had no social life nor did we have time to... it was a traumatizing experience and we wanted our little family to be protected & safe.

Already then I was in disinfection mode, left the house only for essentials matters, limited the visitors who came to the house, we asked to immediately wash hands when walking through the door and to wear a mask if necessary. My husband and I did suffer a lot during these first years, not being able to be with family and friends, especially ones with children because we knew we could end up back where we never wanted to be. Unfortunately to some may have thought we are being too extreme, but we proved that the less contact with people means less chance of exposure and social distancing reduces your chance of spreading the virus to your loved ones, vulnerable children like mine, or others.

Trust me you never want to witness your child or yourself hooked up to a ventilator. It doesn’t matter what the situation is but with the virus situation it can be preventable.

Be safe & stay home 🏡

-words from a micro-preemie mommy

#Preemies #MicroPreemie #PreemieParenting #SocialDistancing #quarantinethoughts #cerebalpalsy #preemiestrong #warrior #COVID19 #stayhome

I have cerebral palsy and everyone says I am so motivational. I have a hard time hearing that. #SuicidalThoughts #suicidalidealation

Triggers....

Sometimes it’s a song on the radio, a certain scent, or maybe even a commercial.

You never know when something is going to unexpectedly come out of nowhere and cause you to relapse back into emotions.

For me it was placing a pair of shoes on Lawson’s feet and finding old footprints on the bottom from when his sister wore them.

Quick incidents like this is what brings you back to the harsh reality of what once was or what could’ve been.

This most definitely wasn’t my first or worst trigger, and it sure won’t be my last.

It’s the triggers that make you come out of your bubble and remember to fight what we are truly here for on this earth; reminding us to keep our eyes on God and find peace in the “what could’ve beens.”

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“What if your “I don’t know” is helping you let go of things you aren’t supposed to know, because that knowledge would be too heavy a burden for today? But the One you do know, the Lord, is so perfectly capable to bear it all. We think we want comfort in the I-don’t-know times of life. But comfort isn’t a solution to seek; rather, it’s a by-product we’ll reap when we stay close to the Lord.”
— Lysa Terkeurst

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭4:12-13‬

#SpecialNeeds #cerebalpalsy #HIE #trigger #Faith