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    I'm back after a break... how are you?

    I'm in a mental health IOP currently after a hospitalization in December for a bipolar mixed episode.

    I'm taking it one day at a time!

    also have some new physical health conditions to add to the list that I'm taking care of!

    #Bipolar1Disorder #Autism #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Anxiety #TicDisorders #EatingDisorders #Addiction #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #GenderDysphoria #Hypertension #HighCholesterol #LearningDisabilities #Osteoporosis #PersonalityDisorders #SleepDisorders

    14 reactions 6 comments

    Multiple Chronic/acute pain sufferer

    I have posted to The Mighty in Response to their postings. I am going through a rough time with Multiple sources of Chronic Pain and the worst Break Through pain. For those like myself who are being forced down in their opiod doses Here is an Article I got from MEDSCAPE it is interesting reading. I agreed with cut back since I lost 150 lbs, but now they went too far. No one listens because of a psych label that a former Psychiatrist in 1994 put on me. I agree I have anxiety but that's no reason for our local hospitals to acuse me of being a drug addict, especially after me aggreeing to their redduction of opiod tatics. now I can barely function. here goes:

    Credit to Medscape:

    Article about the use of Opioids from medical doctors' perspectives:

    A Medscape report that explores how physicians prioritize substance abuse among leading American social issues also reveals their divergent views about a proper role in pain management through opioids.

    The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last month updated its guidelines for prescribing opioids to adults with acute and chronic pain. In part, the new guidelines 1) urge clinicians to maximize the use of nonopioid therapies, 2) support the lowest effective dosages and immediate-release drugs when physicians do turn to opioids, and 3) ask doctors to prescribe no greater quantity of opioids than needed for the expected duration of the patient's pain.

    Some survey respondents in the "Substance and Opioid Abuse Report 2022: Drugs and Alcohol Are Challenging Problems for Physicians and Their Patients" believe doctors still overfocus on pain management and 0-to-10 pain scales, even during the nation's opioid crisis.

    "It's easy to become addicted to opioids when [physicians are] using a pain scale in the hospital and stating that post-op patients should be encouraged to use meds when they are at a 3," an ob/gyn said. "If patients were told to expect significant post-op pain going into surgery, then they would have appropriate expectations post-op."

    "Our MIPS forms tell us that we need to present a plan if a patient complains of pain greater than zero," a rheumatologist respondent added. "Primary care people feel compelled to treat pain. This has resulted in a far more cavalier use of opiates because other medications have failed."

    And a toxicologist felt continuing "pressure on doctors for their overprescribing during the opioid crisis" would be a positive for society.

    Beware Unintended Consequences

    But some physicians in the Medscape survey felt the pendulum needs to swing back to more aggressive pain management, including prescribing opioids when appropriate. "Chronic pain and cancer pain patients are often undertreated by MDs, pharmacists, nurses, and support staff," one internist argued. "These caregivers are not educated properly on pain control, and that is so unfortunate."

    A number of other doctors pointed to unintended consequences for which they said champions of stricter oversight of opioid prescribing cannot avoid responsibility.

    "I think the government's crackdown on physicians…has actually worsened" the opioid crisis, a gastroenterologist said. "Now, people are more often going to the streets and are getting fentanyl-laced drugs, resulting in accidental deaths. It's a big problem."

    That viewpoint was backed by an orthopedic surgeon.

    "Discouraging legal prescriptions doesn't cure opioid use disorder," he argued. "Other doctors and I are afraid to prescribe opioids, which is a boon to the illegal drug trade. Opioid prescriptions have been nearly cut in half in 10 years due to the new guidelines and rules, but overdoses and illegal opioids have nearly doubled."

    I am suffering now with severe pain from broken (crushed and displaced T12 since 2016 and Crushed/collapsed L1) whole spin is shot with Degenerative disc disease,, L4 to S1 (or tail bone is severe) and I now have it in my neck. This causes secondary conditions, unable to swallow severe reflux, severe IBS, abdominal pain, severe Osteoporosis (all documented from tests and by doctors)...yet the ER staff acuse me of being addicted. Sheesh (I cannot go on NSAIDS because of the damage and now blood oozing or Gastrica Antral Vascular Ectasia. The list of pain main flares are due to fibro.

    Is anyone else going through this battle with medical people. Such as ER nurses and ER and Family doctors. This is getting rediculous.. In my province of Ontario Ford is trying to privatize everything, so I cannot even get a decent nursing home, because of the elderly that are stuck in hospital. Thank you for letting me post. I cope with this totally on my own, as I have minimal support given by the city. I worry that will be cut.

    All the best to those in pain.

    6 reactions 1 comment

    Desolation and Hollowness

    #Emptiness #Emptiness

    When my depression gets extremely severe I feel this deep sense of hollowness inside and complete desolation takes a hold of my life. For a very long time I had no idea what to do other than let it overtake me as long as it did. I had mental illnesses before my physical ones but I was unaware since I was so young. I got Inflammatory Bowel Disease when I was 20 and diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Now my GI doctor at the Mayo Clinic says I have Crohn's disease. Anyway, this disease brought out the depression and anxiety a great deal so I believed it was the cause. However just recently, I was told I had Complex PTSD and so many things made sense, and the fact that I thought about suicide when I was in 4th grade and tried it horribly but luckily badly my Junior year in High School definitely demonstrates that I had mental illnesses back when I was school age. To me, it was just a logical way to deal with wanting to leave my house because I couldn't deal with my mother's abuse any longer. And wrongly, I thought if something happened to me she would care more. I tried to go back to school but kept ending up in the hospital so I was always filled depression and just having the disease gave me great anxiety. I was so bad they often had to almost sedate me with high doses of IV Ativan. My dad had died six months before I got sick and he was the only person I knew loved me, and my getting sick proved my mother and both my older brothers could not care less, since they abandoned me and left my care to my boyfriend of 2 years, and never came to visit except once. I never was able to graduate, not for a long time.And that was a sense of shame and feeling of unworthiness that filled my life as well.There's a lot more to the story, but I don't want this to be that long. But the loss of my father was an incredibly huge impact on my life in a negative way since I never and still really don't know how to deal with death and grief, and it brought back 2 years ago when I lost an extremely close Uncle of mine to AIDS, both were way too young to die; and their deaths left me with an emptiness that beat all other types of hollowness that have occurred throughout my life. I pretty much think of them every day and just wish they were still alive and with me. I believe the grief I carry from them and now a few others often is one of the main root causes of my depression, and makes me feel the complete desolation around me and complete emptiness inside. Thankfully I have a couple of very supportive people who do their best to help me through it, which means a lot, but sometimes the deep depression just has to run it's course throughout me.

    #Emptiness #Depression #Anxiety #Shame #complexposttraumaticstressdiso rder, #CPTSD  #Grief #IBD #inflammatorybowel disease #CrohnsDisease #UlcerativeColitis #ChronicPain #sexualassualt #Anemia #RheumatoidArthritis  #Osteoporosis #Insomnia #ChronicIllness #Disability #MentalHealth #MightyTogether


    Anyone a grandparent with multiple.chronic pain issues?

    Of all the stories I've read I've rarely seen any posts written about being a grandparent with multiple.chronic pain ailments and autoimmune diseases and digestive issues. It all of course affects what I can do with my grandbabies, I'm limited to what I can lift, because of severe osteoporosis I cant.lift over 10 pounds. So I can't lift my grandbabies , but I can sit with them on my lap and bottle feed.them and read to them and sing to them and get on the floor with them as they learn to scoot snd crawl. I'm trying to get positive with what.i can do with them and not what I can't. But it's heart breaking sometimes when I think about the fact that this isn't what my hopes and dreams were for being a grandparent. When we babysit I can't do it alone so either my husband or daughter is with me . But my daughter is due in January so she will soon be busy with her own little one. Once they are toddlers and can be more.mobile then I can babysit them alone. Anyway I just wanted to put this out there and.see if anyone else can relate.


    Letter to Younger People with Anorexia Nervosa

    Part 1 of 2 I have been a fourteen to seventeen old anorexic. I remember having too much pain in the present to think much about any future, a confident despair that told me nothing but distraction would break the grip of physical weakness and fear, and that only for a few hours. I did not believe in any suggested motivations to recover. Now, in my mid-fifties, I have relapsed. My underlying health is broken and hope is much harder to come by. I don’t know what recovery might bring. The rewards will likely be less and the journey no easier.

    My going forth into #EatingDisorders recovery in my late teens was a very different journey than the release Isaiah describes. It began not in joy and peace, but from shame and grief when I could not donate blood platelets a close friend needed to prolong her life. Cognitive behavioral therapy with a sensible psychologist laid the groundwork and helped me make recovery a reality.

    Recovery itself challenged my body and spirit. Judging from the reactions of my parents, it was a stress on my family as well. When I was weak from malnutrition and running interference for my eating disorder, much of my energy went toward distracting and pacifying parents. I spent hours drilling myself into good grades and scores on standardized tests. My room was neat, I wore clothes my parents liked, and prioritized family events. When I did act out, the underlying need could be dismissed as part of my illness. In recovery, suppressed emotions burst out sometimes from a direct cause and sometimes randomly after being ignored too long. I even had tantrums until the worst rebound was over. I had the energy for a full social life with peers. I was no longer convenient and predictable.

    Then there was the matter of eating and weight gain. I began gaining weight on Christmas cookies and well-buttered bread. One family member, annoyed that I was having all this treat food after causing such trouble, told me plain bread and salads was a better plan. Carnation instant breakfast in milk was a good weight gain strategy not because I liked it (I didn’t) but because as I gained weight thought I could change to skim milk.

    In college, freedom to eat without censure, a physical need for enough reserves to convince my body it was safe to use energy on repairs, and a lower nutrient to calorie ratio than home cooking led to more weight gain. The year I began menstruating again a family member advised smoking to keep from gaining too much weight. Under pressure to restrict at home on breaks I did, and my weight fluctuated annually between the upper and lower limits of a healthy range. In the summer, dessert was off-limits except for family-defined special occasions, and even then how much I ate was subject to scrutiny and commentary. A packed lunch of two packaged toast pieces, ten raw peanuts, and three dried apricot pieces brought the comment that I was losing college weight, “without doing anything crazy”.

    Recovery was physically difficult as well. Weight came on unevenly; for the first half-year maternity clothes would have been a good idea. Dresses were easiest, jeans essential but difficult, and skirts impossible. My feet and legs were no longer used to energetic movement and carrying a normal-weight body; I had foot pain so severe I could only walk in padded boots. I had to rediscover bras that fit. When menstruation resumed, it was heavy and unpredictable enough that I could not always manage it gracefully. Going forth from anorexia did bring joy, but at the cost of peace.

    Please, you who are in the cold peace of suppressed emotions and a dying body, do not let this make you afraid. Recovery side-effects pass. During recovery I did manage to stay in school and earn diploma. I went on to a joyful career in teaching, marriage, volunteering, and mothering two children. I hiked, visited cities and museums, enjoyed books and music, and eating, as well as other activities, with friends. I studied a martial art.

    Recovery does not mean the end to all problems, even physical ones. I developed celiac disease and irritable bowl syndrome, making some measure of restriction in eating necessary and pushing my weight to the lower limit for physical health. Osteoporosis and arthritis do run in my family, but I have a more severe case of the first than my mother and grandmothers did. I have healed from a fractured pelvis and fractured hip, but still need to do daily exercises to preserve mobility. My liver function is not good and I have low blood sugar. Two bouts of pneumonia meant an interruption of eating and I never did resume anything close to sufficient calorie intake, so I am again underweight enough to directly cause physical and emotional problems.

    At this point, recovery seems much more of a gamble,


    Dealing with unpredictability

    I just joined this group. I thought I already was part of a chronic pain group, but I couldn't find it today. So let me introduce myself, and then ask for advice.

    I have chronic pain from two sources: I have had arthritis in my knees and hips for a while, progressively getting worse. I also have osteoporosis which led to multiple fractures, all of which cause pain at times. In addition to that, I am really dealing with fatigue that may or may not be related to those two sources.

    Now here is what I need advice on:

    I make jewelry, and belong to an organization that runs the gallery where I sell. There is an expectation for members to volunteer 8 hours a month, which they typically do in two 4-hour shifts. The scheduler is aware of my struggles with fluctuating pain and fatigue, and tries to use me to fill in gaps of 2 hours. She actually has been quite generous with me and I rarely work my 8 hours a month.

    In the recent 2 hour shifts I have worked, I have had days where I felt I could have worked longer, but also days where I was very ready for the shift to end. She recently asked me to work a 3-hour shift. My answer was "I can come in at noon and try to make it til 3:00"

    I HATE my answer!

    I HATE that I am not working my 8 hours!

    This gallery is so important to me, both as a creative outlet and as a social outlet.

    Do I push myself to work the 3 hours and pay the price because this group is important to me?

    Are there other ways I can handle my limited, unpredictable energy?


    Glad to have found this site

    I am so glad to have found a Christian site where faith in Jesus Christ is the foundation and we can talk about our health issues from a biblical fiath perspective. And pray for one another, not just hear from people who arent even believers they will pray for me,, but truly pray for others and be prayed for, and encourage one another with biblical truth... Ive lived with and ever increasing amount of chronic pain afflictions, and autoimmune diseases, and horrible digestive diseases almost my whole life,, Im 62 in November,, , now my degenerative disk disease and severe osteoporosis and R.A. and ulcerative colitis and IBS cause the most daily disability and dysfunction, but I get up and do what the Lord allows me to accomplish each day and enjoy and cherish every day with my husband, grown children and grandchildren. I wont pretend some days arent very very hard, and dark, but the light of the Word of God and prayer, and my family in Christ support and pray for me each day. Each day is a blessing whether its spent in bed , in my relcliner, or up and about doing things, and playing with grandbabies.. . I enjoy my fur babies, and my grandpuppies, as well as grandchildren. My fur babies are such a source of comfort and enjoyment, they make me laugh, and always know when Im hurting more so cuddle me more.



    I have experienced several situations which took me back to past events related to my shoulder fractures, and stirred up dormant emotions.  Each time I was triggered, it took me by surprise.  I suspect that many of us have had such experiences.  I share to let you know that you are not alone.

    Anniversary Reaction

    I woke up one day recently and knew immediately it was going to be a hard day.  My shoulders were really hurting, and I felt exhausted.  Usually when I feel this way, it is because I have overdone it or there has been a weather change.  Nothing in my recent activities or the weather explained how I was feeling.   I was kind of achy all over and feeling very unfocused.  As I pondered what in the world was WRONG with me, it occurred to me what day it was.  It was the sixth anniversary of the day I fell and broke my right shoulder.  My left shoulder was injured in a mugging exactly three years and one day later.  Once I made the connection, I knew I was experiencing an anniversary reaction.  What surprised me was that I had no conscious awareness of it being THAT day.


    My next trigger occurred when I went to the Ortho office for a bone density scan.  I started out feeling good that I was taking care of my osteoporosis, and hoping the results would be reassuring.  As I walked into the building, I felt that I had been there WAY too many times.  Numerous PT, OT, and doctor visits.  Then came the pre-scan interview.  For valid reasons, the technician asked me to tell her about all fractures I have had, and how they happened.  Pity party creeping up on me.  Then my shoulders screamed at me as I lay down on the hard metal exam table.  For the final indignity, I had to ask for help sitting back up from the table.  At home, I hook my feet under the coffee

    table to sit up without using my arms.  No coffee table in sight.  The technician was happy to assist, but it took me back to getting assistance from the aides in rehab.  As I walked back through the too-familiar lobby, I was an emotional wreck.

    Infusion Center

    Shortly thereafter, I had an appointment with the hospital infusion center for a once-a-year osteoporosis prevention medication.  The year before, I had six weeks of daily antibiotic infusions when my shoulder replacement got infected.  Since then, our town has opened a brand new hospital.  I was excited to see the shiny new building, and see my favorite nurses again.  Being very familiar with the procedure, I felt relaxed, and things went smoothly.  It surprised me at the end when they took my blood pressure that it was pretty high.  Again, my subconscious mind got me!

    Since these three events occurred within a short period of time, it really got me thinking about why triggers like this happen.  I have a theory that when traumatic events occur, we are busy processing the practical aspects and dealing with the physical pain.  We are coping, but not processing our emotions.  When things occur later that make us remember the events, the emotions come out.

    Here are my suggestions for coping:

    Understand what is happening
    Admit how hard the original situation was
    Don’t beat yourself up for returning to old emotions·
    Give yourself time to process your emotions
    Do whatever brings you comfort.

    For me it is dogs, soft blankets and my “Songs of Encouragement” playlist.

    I’d love to hear about situations where you have been triggered, and how you coped.


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