These are my precious furry companions. Do you have any fur companions that are your life?
Just to introduce myself. I am a coloured pencil artist. I mainly draw nature. I’m also disabled. With a host of physical and some MH disabilities.
First Time Here, Share your Hope
I was dxed in 1998 with Lupus, and soon followed Fibromyalgia and RA and Reynaud's and Sjogren's and that is plenty. I have severe Osteoporosis from decades of steroids before the newer meds came in. I suffer from daily, chronic pain. I have intense gastro issues and a colostomy. Just to get up in the morning can take 4 hours before I feel well enough to stay standing. I am a woman of faith. I still volunteer each week and I teach twice a week on line but each day it seems harder and harder. I am a visual artist and this helps me.
I live in a state that wont allow medical marijuana. Its a state that frowns on pain meds and well, I suffer greatly for it. I still fight to be an active member of society but it grows harder. I am 64. Tell me, where do you find your hope? Or do you?
Regret of once again , overdoing it..
We had a severe storm go through here Monday,, thankfully we didnt have any bad damage,, just three fence panels went down,, and huge branches and tree limbs all over the yard, front and back.. sooooo I went around for two days picking up all the branches and twigs, tried to protect my low back , pace myself,,, then today mowed the front yard,,, you know the literal straw that broke the camels back?? Well that was the last straw... I can hardly move now, my neck and shoulders are killing me , causing a big headache,, my back is weak, and low back is sooooooo weak.. I did take precautionary measures,, and post overdoing it measures,, I am not new to this game,, Ive been in chronic pain since 1980, and even before that,, have multiple arthritic conditions and autoimmune pain conditions, fibro,,, degenerative disc disease, scoliosis, severe osteoporosis, ect..... Im in my 60s,, . I have a question for those of you who have lived lives of chronic pain. Do any of y'all ever get so sick and tired of being cautious, of holding back from doing things, things you enjoy,, for me its working outside, being in the sun,, doing physical things.. So sometimes do any of y'all just say screw it and do more than you know you should,, knowing full well you will pay later?????????? Or is it just me????? I know I will get through this,, I will be miserable for anywhere from a few days, to a week or more... but sometimes I get so tired of holding back.
Useless new learning.
I was reading an article about forms of child abandonment. It was during the Dr Spock era where babies were left to "cry it out & figure how to self soothe". Considering my age I fit along with the fact I started shaking, feeling overwhelmed, literally ill. At 2 weeks of age I was sent to the hospital with originally was thought (burns from a cigarette) from my mother. Those blisters began to spread, I was put in an isolation ward all by myself while nurses doctors tended me. No one was allowed to visit. I was told I was very sick. Dr. kept changing the formula my father would make and drop off. I was baptized in the hospital I have the records. They treated the blisters with genting violet, I began getting better. I went home at 5-6 weeks of age. This may explain why I always felt I could only rely-trust myself. I was an only child but even in groups I played by myself had to be coaxed into joining groups"kindergarten", hard time making friends. None of that made any sense as to why I felt a loner because in the first critical weeks of life I was left to my own resources except for somebody coming into hurt me or to feed me. It explains a lot about my life, and I'm just finding out about that now? Including the fact at 2 yrs of age I was sent to stay with my paternal grandparents to be fully potty trained at exactly 24 months which was accomplished in 2 weeks, explains even more. Why do I say useless learning? Most of my life is behind me I have some left at what point does new information become more hurtful and useless?
Bastrop syndrome #
Bone spurs #
Unstable lumbar spine#
Last spring, I was 23, and I was diagnosed with osteoporosis due to years of not prioritizing my mental or physical health. I was accepted into the doctorate program I am currently finishing my first year of, around this time. That june, I graduated with my masters. a good friend of mine offered to drive me home from the masters graduation party our cohort was throwing. that night someone I considered a dear friend of mine, who had met my family, who I trusted with vuneral parts of myself, sexually assaulted me.
That summer I was diagnosed with bipolar, and have cycled through highs and lows the past year. i’ve been managing really well, and it’s been really hard. sometimes I feel like no one knows that i’m having such a hard time, and other times I feel like everyone is watching me struggle.