Osteoporosis

Join the Conversation on
Osteoporosis
2.1K people
0 stories
403 posts
  • About Osteoporosis
  • Explore Our Newsletters
  • What's New in Osteoporosis
    All
    Stories
    Posts
    Videos
    Latest
    Trending
    Post

    Desolation and Hollowness

    #Emptiness #Emptiness

    When my depression gets extremely severe I feel this deep sense of hollowness inside and complete desolation takes a hold of my life. For a very long time I had no idea what to do other than let it overtake me as long as it did. I had mental illnesses before my physical ones but I was unaware since I was so young. I got Inflammatory Bowel Disease when I was 20 and diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Now my GI doctor at the Mayo Clinic says I have Crohn's disease. Anyway, this disease brought out the depression and anxiety a great deal so I believed it was the cause. However just recently, I was told I had Complex PTSD and so many things made sense, and the fact that I thought about suicide when I was in 4th grade and tried it horribly but luckily badly my Junior year in High School definitely demonstrates that I had mental illnesses back when I was school age. To me, it was just a logical way to deal with wanting to leave my house because I couldn't deal with my mother's abuse any longer. And wrongly, I thought if something happened to me she would care more. I tried to go back to school but kept ending up in the hospital so I was always filled depression and just having the disease gave me great anxiety. I was so bad they often had to almost sedate me with high doses of IV Ativan. My dad had died six months before I got sick and he was the only person I knew loved me, and my getting sick proved my mother and both my older brothers could not care less, since they abandoned me and left my care to my boyfriend of 2 years, and never came to visit except once. I never was able to graduate, not for a long time.And that was a sense of shame and feeling of unworthiness that filled my life as well.There's a lot more to the story, but I don't want this to be that long. But the loss of my father was an incredibly huge impact on my life in a negative way since I never and still really don't know how to deal with death and grief, and it brought back 2 years ago when I lost an extremely close Uncle of mine to AIDS, both were way too young to die; and their deaths left me with an emptiness that beat all other types of hollowness that have occurred throughout my life. I pretty much think of them every day and just wish they were still alive and with me. I believe the grief I carry from them and now a few others often is one of the main root causes of my depression, and makes me feel the complete desolation around me and complete emptiness inside. Thankfully I have a couple of very supportive people who do their best to help me through it, which means a lot, but sometimes the deep depression just has to run it's course throughout me.

    #Emptiness #Depression #Anxiety #Shame #complexposttraumaticstressdiso rder, #CPTSD  #Grief #IBD #inflammatorybowel disease #CrohnsDisease #UlcerativeColitis #ChronicPain #sexualassualt #Anemia #RheumatoidArthritis  #Osteoporosis #Insomnia #ChronicIllness #Disability #MentalHealth #MightyTogether

    2 comments
    Post

    Anyone a grandparent with multiple.chronic pain issues?

    Of all the stories I've read I've rarely seen any posts written about being a grandparent with multiple.chronic pain ailments and autoimmune diseases and digestive issues. It all of course affects what I can do with my grandbabies, I'm limited to what I can lift, because of severe osteoporosis I cant.lift over 10 pounds. So I can't lift my grandbabies , but I can sit with them on my lap and bottle feed.them and read to them and sing to them and get on the floor with them as they learn to scoot snd crawl. I'm trying to get positive with what.i can do with them and not what I can't. But it's heart breaking sometimes when I think about the fact that this isn't what my hopes and dreams were for being a grandparent. When we babysit I can't do it alone so either my husband or daughter is with me . But my daughter is due in January so she will soon be busy with her own little one. Once they are toddlers and can be more.mobile then I can babysit them alone. Anyway I just wanted to put this out there and.see if anyone else can relate.

    Post

    Letter to Younger People with Anorexia Nervosa

    Part 1 of 2 I have been a fourteen to seventeen old anorexic. I remember having too much pain in the present to think much about any future, a confident despair that told me nothing but distraction would break the grip of physical weakness and fear, and that only for a few hours. I did not believe in any suggested motivations to recover. Now, in my mid-fifties, I have relapsed. My underlying health is broken and hope is much harder to come by. I don’t know what recovery might bring. The rewards will likely be less and the journey no easier.

    My going forth into #EatingDisorders recovery in my late teens was a very different journey than the release Isaiah describes. It began not in joy and peace, but from shame and grief when I could not donate blood platelets a close friend needed to prolong her life. Cognitive behavioral therapy with a sensible psychologist laid the groundwork and helped me make recovery a reality.

    Recovery itself challenged my body and spirit. Judging from the reactions of my parents, it was a stress on my family as well. When I was weak from malnutrition and running interference for my eating disorder, much of my energy went toward distracting and pacifying parents. I spent hours drilling myself into good grades and scores on standardized tests. My room was neat, I wore clothes my parents liked, and prioritized family events. When I did act out, the underlying need could be dismissed as part of my illness. In recovery, suppressed emotions burst out sometimes from a direct cause and sometimes randomly after being ignored too long. I even had tantrums until the worst rebound was over. I had the energy for a full social life with peers. I was no longer convenient and predictable.

    Then there was the matter of eating and weight gain. I began gaining weight on Christmas cookies and well-buttered bread. One family member, annoyed that I was having all this treat food after causing such trouble, told me plain bread and salads was a better plan. Carnation instant breakfast in milk was a good weight gain strategy not because I liked it (I didn’t) but because as I gained weight thought I could change to skim milk.

    In college, freedom to eat without censure, a physical need for enough reserves to convince my body it was safe to use energy on repairs, and a lower nutrient to calorie ratio than home cooking led to more weight gain. The year I began menstruating again a family member advised smoking to keep from gaining too much weight. Under pressure to restrict at home on breaks I did, and my weight fluctuated annually between the upper and lower limits of a healthy range. In the summer, dessert was off-limits except for family-defined special occasions, and even then how much I ate was subject to scrutiny and commentary. A packed lunch of two packaged toast pieces, ten raw peanuts, and three dried apricot pieces brought the comment that I was losing college weight, “without doing anything crazy”.

    Recovery was physically difficult as well. Weight came on unevenly; for the first half-year maternity clothes would have been a good idea. Dresses were easiest, jeans essential but difficult, and skirts impossible. My feet and legs were no longer used to energetic movement and carrying a normal-weight body; I had foot pain so severe I could only walk in padded boots. I had to rediscover bras that fit. When menstruation resumed, it was heavy and unpredictable enough that I could not always manage it gracefully. Going forth from anorexia did bring joy, but at the cost of peace.

    Please, you who are in the cold peace of suppressed emotions and a dying body, do not let this make you afraid. Recovery side-effects pass. During recovery I did manage to stay in school and earn diploma. I went on to a joyful career in teaching, marriage, volunteering, and mothering two children. I hiked, visited cities and museums, enjoyed books and music, and eating, as well as other activities, with friends. I studied a martial art.

    Recovery does not mean the end to all problems, even physical ones. I developed celiac disease and irritable bowl syndrome, making some measure of restriction in eating necessary and pushing my weight to the lower limit for physical health. Osteoporosis and arthritis do run in my family, but I have a more severe case of the first than my mother and grandmothers did. I have healed from a fractured pelvis and fractured hip, but still need to do daily exercises to preserve mobility. My liver function is not good and I have low blood sugar. Two bouts of pneumonia meant an interruption of eating and I never did resume anything close to sufficient calorie intake, so I am again underweight enough to directly cause physical and emotional problems.

    At this point, recovery seems much more of a gamble,

    Post

    Dealing with unpredictability

    I just joined this group. I thought I already was part of a chronic pain group, but I couldn't find it today. So let me introduce myself, and then ask for advice.

    I have chronic pain from two sources: I have had arthritis in my knees and hips for a while, progressively getting worse. I also have osteoporosis which led to multiple fractures, all of which cause pain at times. In addition to that, I am really dealing with fatigue that may or may not be related to those two sources.

    Now here is what I need advice on:

    I make jewelry, and belong to an organization that runs the gallery where I sell. There is an expectation for members to volunteer 8 hours a month, which they typically do in two 4-hour shifts. The scheduler is aware of my struggles with fluctuating pain and fatigue, and tries to use me to fill in gaps of 2 hours. She actually has been quite generous with me and I rarely work my 8 hours a month.

    In the recent 2 hour shifts I have worked, I have had days where I felt I could have worked longer, but also days where I was very ready for the shift to end. She recently asked me to work a 3-hour shift. My answer was "I can come in at noon and try to make it til 3:00"

    I HATE my answer!

    I HATE that I am not working my 8 hours!

    This gallery is so important to me, both as a creative outlet and as a social outlet.

    Do I push myself to work the 3 hours and pay the price because this group is important to me?

    Are there other ways I can handle my limited, unpredictable energy?

    1 comment
    Post

    Glad to have found this site

    I am so glad to have found a Christian site where faith in Jesus Christ is the foundation and we can talk about our health issues from a biblical fiath perspective. And pray for one another, not just hear from people who arent even believers they will pray for me,, but truly pray for others and be prayed for, and encourage one another with biblical truth... Ive lived with and ever increasing amount of chronic pain afflictions, and autoimmune diseases, and horrible digestive diseases almost my whole life,, Im 62 in November,, , now my degenerative disk disease and severe osteoporosis and R.A. and ulcerative colitis and IBS cause the most daily disability and dysfunction, but I get up and do what the Lord allows me to accomplish each day and enjoy and cherish every day with my husband, grown children and grandchildren. I wont pretend some days arent very very hard, and dark, but the light of the Word of God and prayer, and my family in Christ support and pray for me each day. Each day is a blessing whether its spent in bed , in my relcliner, or up and about doing things, and playing with grandbabies.. . I enjoy my fur babies, and my grandpuppies, as well as grandchildren. My fur babies are such a source of comfort and enjoyment, they make me laugh, and always know when Im hurting more so cuddle me more.

    Post

    Triggers

    I have experienced several situations which took me back to past events related to my shoulder fractures, and stirred up dormant emotions.  Each time I was triggered, it took me by surprise.  I suspect that many of us have had such experiences.  I share to let you know that you are not alone.

    Anniversary Reaction

    I woke up one day recently and knew immediately it was going to be a hard day.  My shoulders were really hurting, and I felt exhausted.  Usually when I feel this way, it is because I have overdone it or there has been a weather change.  Nothing in my recent activities or the weather explained how I was feeling.   I was kind of achy all over and feeling very unfocused.  As I pondered what in the world was WRONG with me, it occurred to me what day it was.  It was the sixth anniversary of the day I fell and broke my right shoulder.  My left shoulder was injured in a mugging exactly three years and one day later.  Once I made the connection, I knew I was experiencing an anniversary reaction.  What surprised me was that I had no conscious awareness of it being THAT day.

    Dexascan

    My next trigger occurred when I went to the Ortho office for a bone density scan.  I started out feeling good that I was taking care of my osteoporosis, and hoping the results would be reassuring.  As I walked into the building, I felt that I had been there WAY too many times.  Numerous PT, OT, and doctor visits.  Then came the pre-scan interview.  For valid reasons, the technician asked me to tell her about all fractures I have had, and how they happened.  Pity party creeping up on me.  Then my shoulders screamed at me as I lay down on the hard metal exam table.  For the final indignity, I had to ask for help sitting back up from the table.  At home, I hook my feet under the coffee

    table to sit up without using my arms.  No coffee table in sight.  The technician was happy to assist, but it took me back to getting assistance from the aides in rehab.  As I walked back through the too-familiar lobby, I was an emotional wreck.

    Infusion Center

    Shortly thereafter, I had an appointment with the hospital infusion center for a once-a-year osteoporosis prevention medication.  The year before, I had six weeks of daily antibiotic infusions when my shoulder replacement got infected.  Since then, our town has opened a brand new hospital.  I was excited to see the shiny new building, and see my favorite nurses again.  Being very familiar with the procedure, I felt relaxed, and things went smoothly.  It surprised me at the end when they took my blood pressure that it was pretty high.  Again, my subconscious mind got me!

    Since these three events occurred within a short period of time, it really got me thinking about why triggers like this happen.  I have a theory that when traumatic events occur, we are busy processing the practical aspects and dealing with the physical pain.  We are coping, but not processing our emotions.  When things occur later that make us remember the events, the emotions come out.

    Here are my suggestions for coping:

    Understand what is happening
    Admit how hard the original situation was
    Don’t beat yourself up for returning to old emotions·
    Give yourself time to process your emotions
    Do whatever brings you comfort.

    For me it is dogs, soft blankets and my “Songs of Encouragement” playlist.

    I’d love to hear about situations where you have been triggered, and how you coped.

    #osteoporosis

    1 comment
    Post

    I'm new here!

    Hi, my name is Mike1958. I'm here because

    #MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #Migraine #PTSD also end stage liver disease , polycystic kidney disease , chronic pancreatitis , osteoporosis and beaten by cops for videoing

    2 comments
    Post
    See full photo

    These are my precious furry companions. Do you have any fur companions that are your life?

    Wow this time I was able to post a picture and they're together. In foreground is Gracie 13 yo we've been together for 12 1/2 years. The black blob at the top left is Merlin 9 yo I adopted him 2 years ago. He was considered unadoptable bc he's a black cat, overweight (20) lbs & has feline asthma. He was 20 lbs when I adopted him and weights the same no matter what I try. These furry creatures are my life. Gracie is my cuddle bunny after we lost both her fursisters (within 4 months of each other) who she grew up with, she literally stayed with me for the times I just cried for days. I felt badly for her bc she would search for her sisters everytime we had a shared time like meals or nitenite treats. So I got Merlin. No background on him,he's vocal loves the sounds of kittens crying makes biscuits while trilling hated being picked up no cuddling. I Taught him to use an inhaler for his asthma attacks. He recently had mini stroke, his personality changed for the better. Now likes to cuddle, calls for Gracie when it's nitenite treats or if he sees me outside or it's 5 minutes past time to eat he meows pitifully. Thank goodness for them.
    #ADHD #Anxiety #Arthritis #Fibromyalgia #Gout #Osteoporosis #Osteopenia
    #congenital Kyphosis #PeripheralNeuropathy
    #Bastrop Syndrome
    #bone spurs
    #Reynards Syndrome
    #Shingles # Shoulder impingement Syndrome
    #spinal stenosis #Cataracts

    20 comments