childhoodtrama

Some people couldn’t ever understand, or “get” this, or come to this realization..#FamilyAndFriends #Depression #childhoodtrama #PTSD #Forgiveness

Be Strong!!

#childhoodtrama #PTSD #ChronicPain

I know telling these stories is hard. It really hurts some days. It feels like things will not get better.

Yet with each each word you are creating change. Our stories create a domino effect. They show others they are not alone. They give others the strength to step into their truth and begin to heal.

Telling my story has changed me. I thought that it would weaken me. That my vulnerability would leave me open to criticism. It didn’t.
Instead It showed me how strong I was. It created connections with other survivors, that helped me move forward. In my testimony I have discovered my strength.

I know how hard it is to tell that truth. Keep speaking out. You have the power to change the world.
#childhoodtrama #Addiction #MentalHealth #HealingVoices #adultchildrenofalcoholics

I lost it last night.
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It was a look. I interrupted my husband, and he got frustrated with me. That feeling reflecting in his face was enough to send me reeling.
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I got upset, and everything rose to the surface. The fear that I have been feeling, the worry about rejection. the grief. My old wounds mixed with my current stress, and the fear overwhelmed me.
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It triggered a flashback.
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Suddenly I was that little kid again, cowering in the back of the closet, my hands over my ears trying to drown out the sounds of my parents screams as they fought. It brought up deep rattling sobs and fear. I was drowning in the past.
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It took my husband holding onto me, repeatedly telling me I was safe to surface again.
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Today I am still feeling it. I feel sluggish. My thoughts are scattered. Most of all my heart feels heavy.
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Most days I have a good handle on my trauma. There are also days where painful memories push to the surface. Both are part of my healing journey.
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I wanted to share this to share that it is ok if you are struggling. If you are struggling to heal in the midst of all of this.
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Be kind to yourself today. ❤️

I keep wanting to message my new man friend..
I know if I want a healthy relationship in the future I need to maintain my own space and the trust to let him have his!
I don't want to come on strong or scare him off, infact I don't want to be awake at 1am wondering about all the possibilities..

I've got enough diagnosis's I could blame that on.. #BipolarDepression #CPTSD #BDD #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors #Survivor

But I'm choosing to consciously change my behaviour patterns, I don't want to engage in negitive, codependent or unhealthy relationships.. as well as Knowing my self worth that also means being aware of my actions when I'm starting a possible new relationship dynamic and challenging the bits I know are unhealthy.. like my need for approval, my want to have the person I'm starting to care about to dote on me or be in constant contact with me..

These are My issues and ones I don't want to carry forward into my new relationships, so I'm viewing this each emotion as it arises and not giving in to old habits of acting clingy or just validating my day via if someone connected me or not!

I'm just buzzing to be building a new connection with someone who shares my passions for nature, animal welfare, wild swimming and foraging..
These are the things I want to be doing in my new life in the countryside!
it's awesome to think I might build a relationship with someone that is not based on just empathy or shared trauma but actually on shared passions in life!

In the last 9 months since being raped, ive been on my own and I've Grown so so much!
I've been single for long periods before but I was always having casual sexual relationships, this was the first time I truly Only focused on my own energy and didn't search out a physical connection with anyone at all for nearly a year..

Partly to protect myself but the knock on effect has been Amazing and I didn't really know it until I started making a new bond with someone and observed all the differences in the way I deal with the whole experience!
also that I feel worthy of someone who truly cares about my past trauma, mental well-being, shares my passions and wants to learn about me in aid to better be able to take care of me not to manipulate me.

Massive positive changes and a greater ability to gage what is healthy in starting relationships! Yayyy!
Time working on self care and having a therapist to talk tob had a huge positive impact!! ☺️

#Fibromyaliga #CPTSD #BipolarDisorder #Survivor #childhoodtrama #Relationships #SexAndRelationships #SexAndBipolar #movingforward #Hope #copingskills

#MentalHealth
#Addiction #childhoodtrama