communicating

Hi everybody! Hope you're doing well. I would appreciate some comments about something: when I started to experience symptoms like irritability, I used to be all the time with a bad face, and sometimes I yelled my family members for simple things. They used to feel attacked by this, and I tried to explain to them that it was because I was in a period of very bad depression, I asked them to try not to take it personally, and that because I was very irritable, I asked them to try not to talk to me while I was in that state, until I was better... I used to thought that it was a responsable way to deal with it, because those symptoms wasn't going to end anytime soon, so I tried to evoid contact. Even with the explanations, some family members said that I was being rude to them because of the grumpy face, or because they insisted in talking to me while I was like that and I yelled them. When I got better, some family members resented me, and I felt terribly and guilty because of it. When I'm not in a severe episode of depression, I don't use to yell, and can function normally. Anyone has deal with something like this? Some thoughts about this? #Family #symptoms #Guilt #communicating

Although the #COVID19 nightmare has made things really hard for some people, I am finding that it is doing wonders for my #FamilyInteractions .
As a family unit, it is actually been a beneficial experience. My family has only been #workingfromhome for 2 weeks, but the way we are #communicating has already changed for the better.

Is anyone else finding little #SilverLinnings in #selfisolation ?

So my mom and almost everyone I know is better at #communicating than I am, but I’ll try my best to with this. Whenever I feel that someone has #attacked me for something I said or did, I get very #confrontational towards them and become very #childlike in what I say and do. Even though I’m in my late 20s I still have the urge to lash out at people if I feel that they have verbally attacked me for no reason at all. And much of the time, they haven’t, I just have read the situation wrong. I find it happening over #SocialMedia or over #Text or in person. I just seem to read people wrong or read situations wrong or to say the wrong thing or my #peopleskills are bad.

My partner has always had a hard time understanding my mental illness, (BPD, Anxiety and Chronic Depression) but has always tried his best to listen. He grew up in a different place than I, different family and environment. It’s not his fault. I normally can remember this, and let his misunderstanding pass because of this. But recently he said to me that he sometimes thinks I am ungrateful for life, and everything I have, and my outlook on life is so negative at times that it makes me seem ungrateful.
I wish I knew exactly WHY this bothers me so deeply, other than the fact that one of my biggest fears is people thinking my demons aren’t legitimate and ALSO that I’m not grateful for my life.

Many people, like my partner, will disagree with what I want to say here and that is fair. I just want more opinions.

I think that it is not fair in anyway for someone to say that a person with a legitimate mood disorder is ‘ungrateful for their life’ because they have chemical imbalances causing a negative outlook on life. I believe being grateful is a whole entirely separate thing. I kinda went off- but I just want someone else’s opinion. Anyone. To tell me that i’m not insane for feeling like he completely invalidated me. I want him to understand me but it’s so hard when it’s all in my head.

Please tell me your thoughts. #BPD #communicating

She started talking to me suddenly as if nothing at all ever happened. Like we travelled six months back in time!! Same inside jokes and everything. #Borderline #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #narcissistic #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #unstable #relationship

As long as I've known who I am I've known that my mind doesn't process or deal with situations the way others do.

Diagnosed with anxiety and depression, possibly bpd, more than likely on 'the spectrum'.

I tried to fit in, to mingle, I described myself as the awkward silence in conversations, never knowing what to say.

It becomes exhausting.

I've had full time jobs but every few years it all gets too much and I have to leave.

The constant fear of making mistakes of having to listen and to talk.

The people, the computers, the noise of the telephones, feeling like you're imploding.

Trying to explain to your boss that you need to go home, that you can't sit there any longer, every noise, every voice, sometimes even the silence.

It's been over 18 months now, diagnosed with fibromyalgia and registered disabled.

This is my time out.

#Anxiety #Depression #communicating #Work