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Looking for advice- unfortunately, about two years ago when my anxiety was unbelievable, I got prescribed Xanax and did indeed become addicted. Very much so. It’s taken almost two years now but I’m almost off. My brains coming back. It’s exciting and also completely terrifying. I haven’t been able to work because of withdrawals, but I’m well enough now to at least get out into the world and start trying.
I miss life. I miss people.
The problem is, in my past, the people I had in my community as friends were not nice people. It’s not a great neighbourhood and holds a lot of dark memories from my past.
I don’t have many people to rely on or even see and it’s led to (along with other things) a huge crash in self esteem and confidence.
What are some things I can do to get out and be social without committing to a job yet? I’ve thought of volunteering but any other ideas are also helpful!

#Benzos #withdrawal #Xanax #valium #Socializing #BPD #social isolation #CovidIsolation #selfisolation #Newfriends

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Self Isolation

My view for 30 days

Decided to self isolate myself for a month

I am clinically diagnosed with Bipolar Disorded type 2 and PTSD

I have been running circles with this illness for almost 3 years now and it is really crazy

Changing set of medications just to get the right formula for me to be stable

To be honest it is so tiring

I have to give up work, being a mom, a business partner, daughter and a lot more just to try to this self isolation

Isolating myself from all the stress and social media

So yeah, wish me luck.

#Bipolar #selfisolation #MentalHealth #PTSD


COVID-positive life

Things definitely got worse before they got better.

At its worse (Thursday I think), my whole body ached, I couldn’t support myself, I was very fatigued, cold water caused physical pain, I had chills and I was very weak.

Thankfully things have got better and now all that’s affecting me is sore throat, breathlessness w/ below normal blood oxygen levels, distorted sense of smell, loss of appetite, chest pain, weird “eye headaches” when I move my eyes, weakness and sneezing!

Though I think the sneezing may be allergies as they have been playing up and I finally started taking the new nasal spray (it got better when the sore throat was real bad, I guess because it was just drying it or something as as the sore throat has got better the mucus has got worse).

With the loss of appetite it is a struggle because I was already underweight before COVID. Today was the first day I managed to eat two meals in basically a week, but it was a struggle to do so.

The weakness is also a bit of a frustration. Washing hair requires a sustained amount of arm strength, and I really don’t have it at the moment. Reminds me of the times when I’d shower after 10 hour cleaning shifts...

The breathlessness does have me a little concerned because it’s gotten worse every day, but hopefully it’ll get better soon. It kinda feels like I’m not breathing enough unless I’m breathing through my mouth, which probably makes my sore throat worse so I try not to.

The distorted sense of smell is just plain annoying. I noticed it yesterday when I went to eat some crisps and they just smelled really strong like chemicals (well that was the closest smell) and ever since then, everything else does.

Still got a few more days of self-isolation thankfully. Hopefully I’ll be in some sort of state to be able to work and wear a mask (because there’s going to be absolutely no way they’ll let me in without one on, given I’d only just been self-isolating with covid).

Anyway long post, but it seems like a lot has happened in just a few days.

#COVID19 #diagnosed #breathlessness #Fatigue #Pain #weakness #selfisolation

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My usual response...#BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #selfisolation

Saying “Fine” is just a lot easier..It gets tiring explaining how I feel and hearing people’s remedies for my mental health..if it was that easy to fix..I wouldn’t be just “Fine...” 🤷🏻‍♀️😐♥️

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I really just want to give up... I had another counseling session again today, I told him I was fine that things have been good.. But here I am tonight ready to quit trying and fighting. I wonder if all this work I put into getting help and slowly fighting to get better was all for nothing. I tried reaching out to a couple of friends this evening, led to nothing.. This is why I quit trying. I guess I’ll go back to my old self and just stay self isolated and rarely eat. The easiest way to get by in life it seemed like.. I fooled everyone into thinking I was perfectly fine that I wasn’t slowly dying inside.. 🤷🏽‍♀️ #cryforhelp #Suicide #Depression #Selfharm #dyinginside #selfisolation


Class project requiring me to break social distancing...

I am currently still self isolating like many of you due to my chronic illness. Unfortunatly I have a finally project coming up in my online class that requires me to present in front of at least 5 people. If I don’t present in front of a group of people I get docked 15 points. I’m tempted to say screw it and just take the L. However, I plan on explaining my situation to the teacher in hopes of her understanding.

#MitochondrialDisease #ChronicIllness #COVID19 #College #InvisibleIllness #selfisolation

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42 days

Little humor...and truth lol. 42 days in self isolation. Have not stepped foot in a building since March 16th. My bedroom has become my new normal. So...this is pretty much how I look and act when I see birds at my feeders. Especially if I see ones I've never seen before. Thank God the patio is right outside my bedroom. Birds and sunshine have been my sanity some days. This picture makes me giggle every time I look at it. Thought maybe some of you would find it funny or be able to relate as well.
#Depression #COVID19 #selfisolation #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Humor

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Get up and do nothing #exhausted #Fatigue #COVID19

I’ve struggled to get out of bed today.
If the thought of no bra staying in pjs doing fuck all gets you up in the morning then do that.
Life is weird right now. Routine works for some, others need to shut off.
Do what YOU need to do because I want you to be well.
Now get up and do what YOU want to do today.
I love you 🤗

#selfisolation #Selfcare

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Much needed

I'm on Day 19 of Self Isolation. Some days are super tough. Today, this was my sanity and it made life better. Trying to go one day at a time and accept that everything around me is pretty much out of my control. Just trying to focus on caring for myself.
Today wasn't so bad, hoping tomorrow is the same...or even better. Sending love, hugs, peace, and strength to you all.
#sunshine #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety
#selfisolation #Depression


COVID19 #CheckInWithMe

Although the #COVID19 nightmare has made things really hard for some people, I am finding that it is doing wonders for my #FamilyInteractions .
As a family unit, it is actually been a beneficial experience. My family has only been #workingfromhome for 2 weeks, but the way we are #communicating has already changed for the better.

Is anyone else finding little #SilverLinnings in #selfisolation ?