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Angry Life

I'm really hating myself today. My health is just making more and more problems. I'm just so tired of fighting all the time to feel okay enough to function. My new doctors are only giving me the option to taper off my pain meds. I've done everything by the book. Started with every option of treatment until only finding one that works. But now that I've moved to a new country, the mindset is not to treat my chronic pain with any pain meds. So I'm left with nothing. No treatment plan. And I'm just supposed to live like this, but still be a mom. Why is it so hard for doctors to be okay with prescribing narcotics? They can see my history and everything that I've tried or done to manage my pain. I'm just another case to them, not a person. Not a person who is going through impossible grief from losing their spouse. Not a person who is barely hanging on and is desperately needing help yet no one can help. #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Giving up #tired #alone

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#MightyArtRoom #miniaturemadness #littlethings #Giving is great❣️

This is a second angle of the 25th Anniversary gift I made for my friends. This piece took about a month to complete. They hung it in a window that looks out into their little backyard garden so there’s an indoor outdoor garden effect. I thought that was pretty neat.

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1 step forward 2 steps back #Bipolar2Disorder #Medication #SuicidalIdeation

I've been off my meds for 2 years and it's been rough. I'm finally in a lace where I can start taking them and I had an appointment with my dr to get me back on track. I was feeling hopeful and somewhat excited but then found out that my insurance might not cover my meds until I reach their insanely high deductible. I can't afford them out of pocket because it's almost the same price as 1 months rent payment. I am now feeling so hopeless and in dispare as I wait to see if my insurance approves it or not. I can't keep pushing on without help from medication and I'm starting to feel like this is the universes way of telling me that it's my time to go. I can't keep living like this. #hopeless #Giving up #depressed

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#Giving IT YOUR ALL. HOLLY LAROSE.

Growing up with Cerebral Palsy wasn't always easy. I say that because I was 7 years old when I was told that I had Cerebral Palsy. I didn't know much about Cerebral Palsy at that age because I was always of the mindset that I was just like everyone else.Once I realized that I wasn't like everyone else I began to see myself in a whole different light and I began to think of myself as differently abled not disabled.I may take longer to achieve things in life but I always give it my all and I know that as as long as I keep trying to achieve in life all my goals will be met in life. final thought never stop giving life your all.

#CerebralPalsy

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Know you are loved...

#MentalHealth
I woke up this morning wondering what I’m doing here.
#Life ? #Love ? #Giving ? #Understanding ? What?? I asked myself..
ALL of the above! ( I heard myself)

We have a #Choice .
Live with memories of #traumatic childhoods,
Or
#live with a #Determination of #yes ! #They can’t hurt me anymore! The past is over...let’s get on with healing..

#freedom is ours, it’s always knocking to come home,
Turn the key friend, OPEN THE DOOR!
Your #heart is still #lovingly beating for you. For you #preious One...
They never managed to take your #heart
For many winters, you’ve survived with a #Broken heart- yes
Now, come out, open the door, and #listen to the #Birds
Listen to your heart
Know you are loved.

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Happiness from giving: #Depression #MentalHealth

I preached this morning on the joy of a giving lifestyle. It certainly for me has been a big help in my battle with mental health. A visit to the children’s hospital certainly does give me a reality check about my life.

I recall all too well that there were times I didn’t have the energy to walk across my office floor. Everything was an effort. Yet, even in that season of major depression I had to do pastoral care and more often than not it helped. Having to care about others pain helped alleviate my own pain.

This post is not meant to be a guilt trip. I would never want to add to your pain. However, reaching out to others can open all sorts of opportunities, blessings and perspective.

How are you making a difference in the lives of others? How has someone made a difference in your life?

#Relationships #PTSD #ChronicIllness #Faith #Giving #Hope #Anxiety

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#Depression #dispair #Giving up

I've always had ups and downs, I've spent most of my life trying to understand myself, heck even figure out who I am, but even in my darkest times I would still have that slight bit of hope that tomorrow could be better, im all our of tomorrows, im tired, and I just don't care anymore, I just want it to end, it's strange cause if it was another person I'd do anything to save them, but for myself I just want it to end.

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Giving

If any of you would like to donate today is the last day unless you guys would like it to go longer then I can extend it #Fundraiser #honormydad #Giving #Love