hypersensitive

I don’t feel productive today, and I have to be because I have to finish my project until Wednesday. I’m self-sabotaging all the time and I’m tired of it. I want to cheer myself up and be grateful for all things I do. It’s just hard to believe in that deep in my heart.
Also my ex keeps texting me and I just want to hug him but at the same time I want to slap him. It’s raining and I can feel the crying sky in myself too.

#diary #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #moodswing #BPDDiagnosis #hypersensitive #Selftalk #Selfcare #Selfblame

I went into the pharmacy to pick up some prescriptions and knew immediately it was not the day to test the waters of my agoraphobia.

A few triggers of my phobia is going into stores, walking outside, seeing my neighbors. I can go to a concert and get lost in music, but not into the grocery store to get anything. Seems a bit strange, no?

Then again, there is not much that is ordinary about me.

Allow me to continue the pharmacy story. I walked in, and immediately felt panic. I felt every emotion all at once and it took my breath away. I get to the counter, and this is where it intensifies even more so. I forget my birthday, fumble with my wallet and then he tells me it will be a few minutes. I lost it. I ran into the bathroom and sobbed. I waited until I heard my name, and when paying, I dropped my wallet and its contents onto the ground.

I know I should not allow these moments to feed into my anxiety, but when I go out into public, I have my own anxiety to deal with and then take on others as well.

I have always been a chameleon of sorts. I literally feel the room I am in, and in public areas, it's too much.

#Bipolar2Disorder #SocialAnxiety #CPTSD #agoraphobic #Anxiety #hypersensitive

Does anyone else have a huge hatred of fireworks do the large noise they have causing abunch of anxiety? #fireworks

So...my psychiatrist told me that it sounds like I have BPD. She didnt think it was "necessary" to put it down on my medical record. I'm thinking this is because of how people, even professionals, look at sufferers of BPD as being bad scary people??? Ofcourse i've questioned myself as being both those thing for most my life...I don't have any serious friends now because (obvious reasons lol) I just suck at keeping friends. I wish i had a friend that was aware and accepting of me and wouldn't hate me after showing my emotions--but it's like everyone runs away. My last "friend" ended up alienating me (just like so many before) and when I asked her about it she said that we were just two different people in two different places in life??? It is so frustrating. I feel like an alien. Maybe aliens would be more acepting? 🤔 lol #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #frustrated #hypersensitive Personality Disorder #alienated #Emotionaldisregulation

Is anyone else unable to wear a bra due to sensitivity? Both straps and the band underneath dig into me and feel like I'm being cut. After a while, my rib cage feels like it's on fire, and nerve pain shoots down my arms. I've bought the softest types of bras with wide straps. Haven't owned underwrire in years. I won't get started here on my opinions of society's obsession with binding me around my heart and literally suppressing my flesh ... Recently I found a fitted tank that holds my breasts steady, but the spaghetti straps dig in and the material is itchy. So I layer it on top of a looser, wider strapped tank with soft fabric. Then whatever I'm wearing on top of that. I still feel constricted but it's mostly bearable if I'm not required to serve anyone with a smile. When I return to work (fingers crossed) I'll need more sustainable options. I am a tall, curvy woman. What do you do to both appear professional and avoid the pain of wearing a bra? #Fibromyalgia #hypersensitive #Allodynia #costochondritis #nervepain

Over the past couple of years, I’ve changed. I don’t necessarily like it, but I have changed. I have toughened up. I don’t take bullshit and run away when I don’t feel like engaging in the conversation. I get frustrated pretty easily and will open my mouth when I don’t agree with something. I can see the “kind” part of my personality slip away. I’m not lying when I wish it was different, but I’ve changed. #change #Anxiety #hypersensitive Personality Disorder

I’ve noticed one phenomenon in society. Every time I’m feeling mentally low and need someone to be around me the most... people reject me even more. Friends who occasionally text me or try to reach me through phone don’t want to hear me being honest (and I am!)
I feel like they’re checking if I’m in a good mood and if I’m not they’re leaving me with no reply-back or don’t want to continue the call... does that happen to you as well?
I find it extremely rude but if I cut all of them I’d have no one... #Depression #Rejection #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #hypersensitive Personality Disorder #Anxiety #Loneliness

I'm sitting in a three-hour lecture and the classroom is probably 80 degrees and muggy. I'm fanning myself with my notebook constantly to little avail. Heat like this makes the migraine I already had so much worse along with everything else. It makes me nauseous and lightheaded makes it feel like someone's taking a melon baller to my eyes and puts an ice pick in my forehead. Not to mention I sweat profusely no matter what I do. God I just want this class to be over. #Migraine #Dysautonomia #heatsensitivity #ChronicIllness #nausea #hypersensitive