loyalty

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The line we carry

What is a pack? A hierarchy of the same group of animals. One in charge above all.

What is a family? A line of the same sort. There’s always one in charge while the others follow around.

What happens when a wounded pup is found? An abandoned animal? Neglect, passing by, nature shows us a multitude of things.

Typically it’s the mothering type that bring them in, clean them off, nurture and love them.

How often is it the father?

What it becomes in theory is a ‘family’.

A pack.

Big and little.

A family by all accounts, something positive and good. Strong in faith and loyalty, ties.

What becomes of the unit when it’s fractured though?

Pieces displaced by history and time.

The family I speak of, the family I remember, it started all with a little Mexican woman with a cooler of beers in the kitchen, dancing at the stove with whoever was in her reach. Her fingers twisted at awkward angles but if you took the spatula from her, god help you.

Through this woman the love passed on in her line, even to the stray pup that was brought inside.

Somewhere along the years of memories and grief, it broke. The new speaker tried to over rule who was who; get rid of the memories of the pup all together.

With his pups along side him.

The three who mourned her passing too.

And the line? Oh, an ode to the line- he may be yours but by law and justice, in the eyes of God almighty we belong to him too.

In a world so cruel and harsh it would push out a child, deny him, starve him, neglect him- to be placed directly in the path of the alpha, hand delivered by God himself.

/Remember his word. You’re not here because of spirituality, HE called you here./

How could you be so cruel to ostracize him while the man who brought him in, ordered by God, is lying in a hospital stuck in the state he is.

’Like arrows in the hand of the warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.’

He may be yours by blood but he is our by teaching, by love, and the legacy of sacrifice.

Years before our own pack was formed, before he added the ones currently in his life-

’Little’ was the first one there.

‘Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me and whoever receives me, receives not me but he who sent me.’

I don’t deny your lineage.

I don’t deny the history that was built between you- them- him.

So don’t deny our lives.

One of the reasons we’re here today.

He gave him that piece first.

He gave him your last name.

That pup, now grown, an alpha on his own, he passed it to us.

He is just as much ours as he is yours.

I see you praying in the hallway.

I hear you praying over him.

Bile rises in my throat at the waves of hypocrisy that roll off of you.

We are here today because of God and the decisions, the choices he laid directly in the path of the son who’s mother had the crooked hands.

I mean no disrespect towards the line but whether YOU like it or not, we’re apart of it.

I want to remind you, STAR, it started with them. It started with us. I may not be given the official title but I hold it proudly in my heart.

The first grandchild.

My name given to me by my parents, my middle name inspired by him.

Maria, forever tying me to my Mexican roots.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, only God does.

His eyes may open, he could turn us away, but too many visitors we were NOT.

“The evil tongue is a flattering tongue that will speak fair to one’s face but will defame- ‘He that hateth dissembleth with his lips.’

You can say what you want but his name is on that paper, his hand signed it. That can’t be undone.

History and pain aside, the stories, you can’t change any of it.

The foundation of our family was laid on the god given words woven into their lives which in turn, attached our square to yours.

‘Big’

‘Little’

You can’t erase it.

No matter what is said, what is done, that’s what they’re known by.

Loyalty isn’t just standing at his side and praying to the God that brought us here, the one you’re willing to ignore.

Loyalty is being there through it all and standing by his side praying, the nails of their monsters having grown over their shoulders, asking for him to come back and open his eyes to say

“I love you” just one last time.

#Family #Familydrama #Faith #healingthroughwriting #lettertotheline #loyalty #Love #hegaveushisname

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racing thoughts

I'm goingto drive myself insane. so I thought I would write my thoughts down to hopefully put my mind at ease so hopefully I can finally get some sleep.
I witness everyday from everyone around me seeking a connection with anyone that will be completely loyal, honest and trust worthy. Someone that they can trust with their secrets lives regardless of their right there or if it's behind their backs. And I get it. Trust takes time, commitment and sometimes making sure that that person is legit. especially if they've been really hurt or backstabbed. However, I've dedicated 20 yrs of my life trying to show my husband that loyalty and going on 5 years with our closest friends that I can be that person. I absolutely never lie, I own my mistakes when brought to my attention with absolute sincerity of apology. and won't stand for any disrespect or trash talk about those I do care for. I always have proof when letting that person know to validate my claims. but no matter what I do or how long I wait. they repeatedly want to believe and be be loyal to those who constantly lie, cheat, steal and hurt them. I just can't wrap my head around it and it just doesn't compute!!!! Please someone , anyone explain this to me?! I'm so hurt, I want someone to fear losing me, to show loyalty and would want to defend or protect me. I'm just tired. I want to feel loved and wanted like I love and care for everyone around me. I'm really starting to relate to that song Grenade by Bruno Mars. next time you hear that song. really listen to the lyrics....kinda scary when in comparison. #Insomnia #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #loyalty

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Anyone lonely looking for friends? (Also online friends welcome😍)

Hey! I feel very lonely and still do not have the courage to be open to people I just met about my condition, I feel like that’s something we all share here (we know that we’re struggling). I would also love to be able of creating some friendships with people a bit similar to me. I love music, techno, raves, nature, arts in general, mary jane, loyalty, anything property/housing related, dreaming a lot... I’m a mess writing these kind of things😅 Mainly looking to surround myself with people who also want me in their lives and are open to speak about anything. I need love and reassurance. Please, be open with me and I’ll give you the same in return. I’m just very shy and moved by my insecurities and emocional disregulations which make me sometimes act in an unwanted way and feel horrible about it later. I hope you can relate.❤️ #Nofriends #lonely #lookingforfriends #Hope #SocialAnxiety #Relationshipissues #Love #Friends #friendships #Music #Arts #loyalty

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Grateful for #mateship #loyalty #bestmate #notjustadog

Feelings of deeper meaningful and thoughts of how lucky I actually am to have what I have.

Let's focus in what we have that makes us so happy and privileged not what we aspire to make us happy.
#bepresent

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Tired of fake understanding and loyalty. #Autism #loyalty

Any advice for an inspiring entrepreneur with autism? Long story short I'm losing my patience with these jobs, these fake a** coworkers and this cold society. They don't know how to accommodate people like me in the workplace. No respect, no loyalty and no understanding what so ever and they showed their true colors...I'm going crazy just thinking about it.

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To Write Love on Her Arms - Literally

I actually have "love" tattooed (in my own handwriting) on the inside of my right arm as a reminder to myself and as a statement of pride for being apart of the #TWLOHAmovement myself. I have a diagnosis of treatment-resistant #BipolarDisorder, #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder, #PanicDisorder, #ADHD, #Anxiety#PMDD , #PTSD and #ChronicPain due to #DegenerativeDiscDisease. I wrote a Valentine to myself that recognizes five of my major strengths: my loyalty, my determination, my creativity, my resilience, and my empathy for all creatures. #TattooReminders #lovetattoo #valentineforme #myfivestrengths #strength #loyalty #Determination #creativity #resilience #Empathy #empath#treatmentresistant #PTSD 
#52SmallThings

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