financial

Hey all. Going out on a limb here. I have Complex PTSD and have known for 3 years now. I've been dealing with it hardcore for 14 years, but can trace it all the way back to when I was 16. A huge lightbulb went off for me when I realized this is what I've been dealing with and I was able to quit drinking (20 year battle). I've done simple breathing, I've done extensive shadow integration (unconscious/conscious/ego work) I've built a small herbal apothecary and made countless tinctures and teas, I've been attuned to reiki II, in 2018 I started rolling through the doctor approved medication list. I've now been through 3 years of talk therapy, I work with frequencies, the list goes on. I believe every single one of these things has helped in it's own way but I've hit a Huge wall.
I had to move my son and I back to my hometown for what I thought was a short period, however, things have taken a turn for h worse again. Panic on waking that lasts all day, anxiety when it's not panic, depression, my "startle response" is insane and I've been unable to work. Not good as a solo mama.
I've been researching different options such as microdosing psychedelic mushrooms, Ayahuasca and the Stellate Ganglion Block.
As far as I have found (and there's very, very little of them) are foundations that will assist veterans in getting these treatments. I'm wondering if anyone has come across anyone that would help finance any of these options for non-veterans. I'm pretty well willing to sign my life over if someone can help get me out of this, so any and all options are welcome. But please understand that I've exhausted all options that I can see.
Please also know that I would never expect it to be an outright handout. They say "do what you know". Well, I know addiction and trauma/torture. I fully expect to heal from this and then help others who have been in mine or similar situations of getting lost in the grey areas. (Stellate GB is only fda approved for pain management, not cptsd, even though the results are extremely hopeful, I recently learned even if I Wanted disability (which I don't) I would have had to have been seeing a psychiatrist, not a therapist)
So again, just looking for any researchers who want a hard case, foundations that offer any assistance to the aforementioned retreats or procedures...anything.
I honestly believe that psychedelics (in safe, managed ways) are the cure a lot of us have been looking for. But, also willing to stick needles in my neck if that gets me out of this and able to study.
Thanks so much for reading. #CPTSD #psychedelics #stellateganglionblock #Cure #financial

My car broke!
Realizing that would be a very expensive fix, I told a friend. Being a friend, she tried to help me.
The first person that could help offered to pay 2000 for the car (usually worth 10000), and sell one of his cars (a garage) for +4000. I was told that the car doesn't worth fixing.
(I am paying 6000).
When he realized that I am still paying it (I own 7000), he said that he could not make a deal, because he could not sell the car (he was going to fix and re-sell).
I do admire how he makes money, he is working hard for it. But as a personal friend of the friend, he missed transparency.
I am not wrong!
The second person was nothing but the owner of the delearship! With the reputation of being a very good man, he offered his store to help me.
While he was kind, his employees all let me down in so many ways.... I left the store humiliated! Again: I am not asking anything for free! But they just stabed me with a second unnecessarily bill, refused to contact the maker (the company asked the delear to contact them), and asked me to hurry up with the courtesy car (in a way that sounded like I was taking advantage).
Again, in spite of refusing to contact the maker, they knew that it is a problem that us happening often; that it doesn't worth fixing.
In a last call, I thanked the owner. Explained that I would fix with someone else (I could not afford his garage, I was honest), but I was very grateful with his help.
I could not just bitchy about his "team". He also asked if I had the money to fix it, and I lied that I did, because... what else I could say?
Are people really so used to be taken advantage of, that even my sincere cry for help sounds like a scam?
To his employee, I wish I could asked him to shove his "courtesy car" on his ass! The unnecessarily diagnostic work costed more than a rented car.
I cried and cried, finally I have almost all the money (and some unpaid bills) car for me is a work tool. Without it I would have to get a new job, the employee won't take that easy.
So... that is my story. My 3rd story of the day.

Currently going through an interesting time in my life where I am working on getting out from under an abusive mother. #financial #verbal and #mental

Yep. That is one my BPD flaws. Financial anxiety brings me a feeling of insecurity I hardly manage.

And because a few hours I paid a bill with all my cash left - money I hardly won by selling stuff I owned - it is strucking me at full pace.

I struggle for years financially and ever more since family is splitted up. I can't complain about my bank, because for months, my bank account as rarely been over zero.

And guess what, to save money I will have to even more reduce my food errands. Meaning even more struggling with #EatingDisorders ...

This is all temporary. As soon as our old house is sold it will be better. This is lasting for over a year now. Quite long.

Just needed to share. 🤯😔

Will be strong. I am worth it. One of yours. 💪

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #financial #financialanxiety #insecurity #Anxiety #Stress