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    I’m so sick of thinking of all the negative bullcrap pretty much every day | TW swearing #venting

    There’s just so many things wrong with this damn planet. My mind decides to go through all the bullshit and how I think about it/respond to it nearly every morning and nearly every afternoon, and it’s driving me crazy.

    Most folk drive me crazy. I believe that most folk are terrible, ignorant, gatekeepers, hyprocrites when they say that they support others, hypocrites when they say that others can be themselves, and find anything they don’t see in their eye “normal” a stigma, weird, a disorder, or “cringe” (I despise that word especially), and no one can convince me otherwise because I can’t trust most folk because of what I’ve witnessed… I’m sorry.

    It’s causing me a headache now which I didn’t fucking ask for. Oh well.

    #Anxiety #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #SocialAnxiety #anger #Society #Ugh

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    Egogram (Why i left Instagram)

    The last major social media site i used was IG. I am a creative person and i used it for that purpose. I was kind to others, tried to be real in my posts and also supportive of others who were creative people or those who enjoyed my creativity.

    Over time i met artists in a few areas that i have appreciated for years. Many of them were very kind privately but publicly adhered to this role of having to maintain a public facing ego. At the end of the day what mattered was numbers of likes, follower counts and feeling better than others it seemed although privately they were genuinely great people.

    None of this probably is a surprise to anyone here reading this but after awhile i found it difficult to watch other people, creative or not, well known or not, feel as though their self worth depended on like and follower counts. It became incredibly depressing to see people liking their own posts to increase counts to inflate their status in some artificial way. It became so obvious none of it was healthy no matter how many genuine connections could be made there, the platform itself was the issue.

    I had stopped using other major social media long before IG was the only one left. Extremism and negativity that prevails on all sides of every issue became overwhelming and i saw it for how nonsensical and toxic it is.

    Now i spend my time offline mostly or when i'm online viewing content and not participating on platforms that deliver it otherwise (YouTube, private Twitter to see news on things i follow / enjoy / am interested in).

    For years as i struggled with my own mental health i felt as though i was unhealthy, but the more i pay attention, the more i see in the world around me...

    I see how far i've come and how well i'm doing considering the health issues i have. I'm not attacking people online, arguing with strangers, yelling into the void picking fights, and i'm no longer spending my time being depressed by seeing good people get turned into egomaniacs seeking likes and followers on IG.

    I may not be perfect, i may still struggle at times, but as far as i can see in 2022 given life on Earth in general, i'm doing pretty well considering and that's what counts.

    #SocialMedia #Instagram #Ego #MentalHealth #Awareness #selfawareness #OnlineHealth #online #Society #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #PTSD #Perspective


    I'm an undesirable

    Society doesn't care about people/victims of severe trauma

    Society loves abusers and glorifies them

    Society only likes non traumatized people who can function decently well

    Society looks down upon and judges people like myself who are too traumatized to make friends, hold down a job, or live on their own

    I wonder if highly trauamatized/mentally damaged people like myself are burdens to society

    Maybe people, especially normal functioning ones who came from good childhoods, suffer no trauma, and have few struggles,would feel happy if we stopped existing

    We are undesirables

    #Trauma #Abuse #MentalHealth #MentalIllness #Society #ChildAbuse


    Self absorbed people #Society #rudeness #Kindness #smile

    Is it just me or others feel the same way. It does not cost a thing to smile and say how are you today? When we go out to the stores and mingle and society kindness spreads kindness in my opinion

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    "Ripples" a poem


    By; Natalie Grace

    The stone is thrown into a glass-like surface,

    The water breaks its calm and ripples form

    Ripples rippling, seeping into our brains

    Covering our bodies with invisible scars

    You can feel it on the street, hatred.

    You can see it in their eyes, pain.

    You can not think that you are innocent

    Society created the stone disturbing the calm

    But remember the generations who threw it.

    You created the ripples, strengthen the ripples.

    With every negative glance, every fist that was thrown.

    The world was locked inside, changed for the worse

    And now it’s on fire, just as it should be.

    It made people think about their sins and the sins of others

    Ripples, rippling into our safe places

    Let it seep, make it way under your fingernails

    So you have to taste the bitterness of loss

    They say ripples can go on forever.

    Take the stone and crush it,

    Water down the hate and feel free.

    #MentalHealth #Society #Depression #Anxiety #mentalhealthmatters

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    Ending the Mental Health Stigma in Society

    At one time, mental health institutions were like prisons, and the mentally ill were hidden in basements. Now, we see and hear open discussions about caring for our mental health on social media and television. Great strides have been made and great strides are yet to come. What would you like to see improve? How might we improve it?

    This platform is one way. There are movies that help and movies that hurt the progression of mental health awareness. "Inside Out" was a great one. The Netflix series "13 Reasons Why" is controversial. So, I'd say I hope for more forms of entertainment to tie in educational aspects of ending the stigma. That's one thing to improve. Actors and Olympians are also great spokespersons for our cause. What else can you think of?

    #mentalheathawareness #Depression #Bipolar #Parenting #EndTheStigma #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SuicidePrevention #Therapy #improve #Hope #progress #BPD #Disability #Schizophrenia #OCD #EatingDisorder #Bulimia #ChronicIllness #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar2 #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADD #Autism #Aspergers #SuicideAwareness #Society

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    I know the day has ended, but I still wanted to post this.

    Things are really challenging right now for the AAPI community. Those who are a part of that community, please know that you’re not alone. I have a lot of overwhelming feelings about this entire situation. I ended up taking a break from social media for the week because reading and hearing about it continuously made me upset. I am filled with an incredible amount of rage and I don’t have it under enough control to speak very in depth about this openly on a public platform. I am still very upset and I’ve struggled with processing it all. It is an ongoing thing. However, this is still important to talk about. People are hurting. I want those of you who have been affected, especially those in the AAPI community, to please reach out to someone if you are having a hard time with this, are emotional, feeling some type of way, and need to vent or rant. I don’t want people to sit with this on their own. It’s really challenging to find a person or place where we can feel safe and supported without fear in general. With this negative spotlight, it can be even more challenging. Safety is a huge concern I have for myself and those who are a part of the AAPI community. I had suppressed my own feelings for a few days about all of this and it had really gotten to me. There is a tremendous weight to this societal issue and to hold it on your own is too much. I am open to people sending me direct messages on here if you would like to chat about this and/or would like support. I’m constantly thinking of the those we lost in Atlanta and their families. My heart goes out to all individuals who have been impacted, small or big, it matters and should not be dismissed, it should be expressed, acknowledged, and heard.

    Regardless of whether you are part of the AAPI community or not, please know that support, comfort, and love that you express about this topic is meaningful. We all have our limits and capacities in which we can take actions. The easiest one I can identify is be kind. Just please be kind. I know that is something that I would appreciate at this time.

    If you took the time to read this post and this makes sense to you, thank you.

    Take care of yourselves and remember that you’re not alone.

    Sending love and care your way,

    #MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Parenting #MightyTogether #CheckInWithMe #StopAsianHate #AAPI #Racism #Reflection #AsianAmericans #Society #SocialMedia #Loss #violence #anger #hurt #COVID19 #ADHD #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Depression #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #IntrusiveThoughts #SuicidalThoughts #Trauma #WhereMyMindIs

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    Self-Deprogramming from The Social Cult - 1 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Therapy #MentalHealth #Reality #Society

    A diagnosis of BPD at any stage of life is bad news. At 48, it is devastating. It isn’t the condition so much, although not to be diminished, as the realization that many of the heartbreak and struggles experienced or doled out in one’s life might have been avoided or better managed had they been aware as a young person of the condition and implications. Further, at this late stage no amount of forensic analysis can provide a definitive causal relation, if one exists, or reveal how specific epiphenomena becomes repressed while others do not. At best, we can engage in anecdotal conjecture and theoretical narrative.

    As is the case with “personality disorders”, comorbidity across clusters A through C as well as parallel conditions (MDD, anhedonia, et al.) are common and complicate the task of teasing apart the various failed mechanisms or determining their hierarchy. For example, Bi-Polar and Borderline sufferers require completely different treatments, yet, an individual may be dealing with both. How then determine which is the dominant driver, which is the most distressing and what treatments to apply that aren’t at cross-purposes and to which the patient responds?

    In addition, there is far too much overlap in our diagnostic manuals. Depression, suicidality and anxiety figure practically in half of all diagnostic criteria as symptomatology as well as on their own as distinct conditions. My own diagnosis includes BPD, MDD, PDD (anhedonia), GAD, OCPD. I meet criteria for all of the above as well as strong scores in avoidant and dark triad metrics. Given that we all accept an individual with a 70 IQ will have cognitive challenges due to physiology that require accommodations and support, doesn’t it follow that those who score in the upper 98th percentile, such as myself, may also present with physiological anomalies as do some at the lower extreme, begging the question as to why this population is ignored?

    Rather than let oneself be overwhelmed by the magnitude of this late-life discovery or its implications, we could ask how it is that someone manages to survive so long, seemingly functional and successful, concealing such an array of internal chaos? Equally disturbing is the fact that no one in their circle of intimates and colleagues, including themselves, ever made connections. When parents fail to notice a child’s struggles or positively engage this becomes the child’s normal and, if he or she is astute, a lesson about the limits of human bonds is learned such that, at least in this house, everyone is out for themselves and that any “representative” of the family who detracts from the public image set by the parents is to be rejected and humiliated. (cont'd)



    Is it just me, or does anyone else get slightly annoyed by signs that say “be kind” or people who talk about empathy, then say something unempathic ?... I’m not trying to sound petty, but I wish people would do those things, rather than post them on a wall or just talk about them. Or like the Dawn duck on the dish soap bottle, when P&G tests on animals every day! Maybe I know a little much and drives me crazy, or I sound that way, but it just gets on my nerves when people do things for image, and I sometimes feel it’s a way to manipulate people etc ... sorry if I’m ranting, I just overthink a lot when I don’t have much to do at the moment. #Society #Trends #SelfReflect


    #SocialInteraction #Society

    To me, the best results in society come when they’re not forced! I often have to self reflect myself, because I don’t want to become the same controlling person, as I feel can be to me. When rules become so technical, it sometimes can negatively affect people with disabilities and difficulties in life... Being as understanding as I can be, is very important to me, and my patience has been tested at max this past year! What does it matter if someone doesn’t think the same thing as you? Believe the same thing as you? Have the same outlook as you? IMO it doesn’t! Not to mention, just because I have issues in life, doesn’t mean the whole world has to cater to me. As long as people aren’t directly hurting you or others, why would I be angry. Tolerance and being a decent person go hand in hand. Just some thoughts I get that causes my social anxiety to go up... #SelfReflect #FreeThinking

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