Capitalism

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A poem on feeling ignored by this planet | TW for ignorance and misrepresentation on different topics, swearing, the word k*ll (i)

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It hurts,
It fucking hurts.
It kills,
It always did.
Sad excuses left and right,
Ignorance is left to bite…
Me.
And Us.

“Systems and plurals are crazy,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only men and women,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only heterosexuality,”
According to this planet.
“Sex define your gender identity,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only monogamy and monoamory,”
According to this planet.
“White folk deserve more than those of color,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only romance and friendship,”
According to this planet.

“Everyone’s autism is a disorder or disability,”
According to this damn planet.
“Neurodivergent folks are too loud,”
According to this damn planet.
“Fat folks are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“Sex and romance and love is natural among all beings,”
According to this damn planet.
“Adults can’t cry,”
According to this damn planet.
“Mental health is selfish,”
According to this damn planet.
“Trigger warnings are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“You should stop being poor and pay more,”
According to this damn planet.
“Everyone should identify as a human being and alterbeings, otherkin, and fictionkin folks are snowflakes and ‘cringe-worthy’,”
According to this damn planet.
“Anything that is not seen as ‘normal’ or not common should be stigmatized and criticized until it makes other folk want to closet themselves for eternity and be forced into this void of hell called “being like everyone else’,”
According to this damn forsaken planet.

Past mother’s self,
Mentally abusive.
Keeps me up,
As thoughts are still intrusive.
New mother’s self,
No longer abusive,
Past mother keeps me up,
As they are still intrusive.

Fuck ignorance.
What’s it ever done to us?
Take the Mars and Venus symbol,
Combine them together,
And destroy it altogether.
Neither are truly me.
Take the “human” label and wash it away,
And don’t tell me I’m human,
Else I will cry,
I’ve cried too much.
Alterbeings exist anyway.
An alien hybrid trapped in this damn realm called Earth,
I love space,
I miss my home,
It was much more quieter than here,
Much more sensical than here,
Much more reasonable than here,
Much… less ignorant.

Than here.

——

I am a non-binary transmasc overweight individual who is part of a system/plural. My pronouns are he/they/it, and some others. I do not identify as a human, I am alterhuman/alterbeing, although I still identify as someone of color. I’m black/mixed. I have 6 non-romantic partners who I all love equally with my entire heart and are also part of the same system I’m a part of, they are as real as ever. Also, I despise my autism being called a disorder or disability.

And I’m so sick of feeling ignored, and of what Earth had to offer for the past 20 years of my life on its ground. Thank you.

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #nonbinary #LGBTQIA #ignorance #Poem #Vent #TW #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Alterhuman #otherkin #Racism #Capitalism #Trauma #Polyamory #system #plural #EndTheStigma #GenderIdentity #GenderDysphoria #MentalHealth #Awareness #earth #Homesick #StopSilencingUs

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I want to rest, but I need money to survive. I am tired.

Me too. I want to start again. I don't want the same path of work anymore. But I guess everywhere is the same, this system is so tiring. I want to rest, but I need money to survive. I am tired.

#Anxiety #Capitalism

11 comments
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Seriously, is life worth living?

What’s the point in living? I don’t currently have a job and haven’t for the past year. I can tell my family can’t stand being around me (my mum fully ignores me now since moving back home) it’s like I’m invisible.
I thought I was okay after breaking up with my boyfriend and that even though I don’t have a job I can still find purpose with other interests that I have (web development online, e-commerce, etc ) but I just feel as if there if no hope left for me. I know that sounds like I’m being lazy or giving up but I feel so numb that apart of me doesn’t even care anymore.
In a way I wish I could go back to my old life where I was making people happy because I was working (but stuck in a place I hated) & now due to COVID I can’t even get a job. My social skills have completely gone down hill now, I don’t even know if going to an interview and starting a job would be possible. It’s so hard I just need motivation I’ve lost all hope in myself. I’m crying as I’m writing this because I’m sitting alone in my bedroom isolating myself from everyone. I’m tired and I’m done with being me. Does any one else relate? #lostjob #isolated #Capitalism #unsocial #anxious #COVID19

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end of the month check-in #endofthemonthcheckin

November was a month of small accomplishments.

I...
1.) reinstated my state insurance (medicaid)
2.) got my food share reinstated, too.
3.) began the process of applying for SSI/SSDI
4.) started going to the gym to swim, walk on the treadmill, and ride the stationary cycles.
5.) decided to go back to therapy.
6.) became more honest with EVERYONE about my disabilities and chronic illnesses. started writing about spoonie life and how to navigate my “new normal”
7.) am currently preparing the launch of my YouTube channel about my life, disabilities, chronic illnesses, the ableism of our world, and survival. it’s basically just a vlog channel but I’m excited.
8.) started eating healthier (admittedly I did not keep up with the healthy eating this weekend. shrug.)
9.) talked openly with my partner about what my accessibility needs are in our house, in our sex life, and in our intimate emotional life. We had a good, honest, mutual chat.
10.) I SURVIVED ANOTHER MONTH IN AN ABLEIST WORLD RUN BY LATE-STAGE CAPITALISM AND GREED! #monthlycheckin #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #MyofascialPainSyndrome #DegenerativeDiscDisease #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #Ableism #Capitalism #survival #selfcare #successes #accessibilityneeds #Youtube #vlogs #CripplePunk

5 comments
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Why do “borderlines” let the abusive system that traumatized us in the first place define our reality and pathologize our character?

We’re sensitive people living in a system designed by rich white cis male sociopaths for their own benefit at everyone else’s expense.

Maybe we’re just having a normal trauma response to the way those inequities have played out in our lives.

So why do we allow that same abusive system to label us with an immutable defect of character when we’re having a completely understandable response to the conditions under which we live?

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PersonalityDisorders #ComplexPTSD #Capitalism #Kyriarchy #patriarchy #rapeculture #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #WhiteSupremacy

2 comments