Prematurity

I. EARLY MEDICAL & LIFE-THREATENING ABUSE

Premature birth at 26 weeks (~1 kg), requiring intensive medical support

Life-sustaining tubes forcibly removed while you were an infant in an incubator during a private visit

Resulting physical injury (facial/nasal damage)

No accountability or protection following this incident

Category: Attempted harm / life-threatening neglect of an infant

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II. SEVERE PHYSICAL ABUSE (ONGOING)

Repeated beatings by your father throughout childhood and into adulthood

Beatings escalated after you were already prone or immobilized

Violence severe enough to leave you bedridden and unable to move

Violence continued until approximately age 22

Physical abuse framed as punishment for “making his life hard”

Father admitted to beating you

Physical intimidation used as emotional regulation

Objects thrown at you with force (e.g., credit card)

Visible bruising concealed rather than treated

Category: Chronic severe physical abuse, domestic violence

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III. SEXUAL ABUSE BY BOTH PARENTS

Sexual assault by your father in early childhood

Sexual abuse involving both parents

Both parents masturbated in front of you during your upbringing

Sexual boundary violations occurred before you had language or understanding

Abuse recorded without consent

You were forced to watch recordings of your own abuse

Sexualized environment imposed on you as a child

Category: Child sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, exposure abuse

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IV. FORCED CONFINEMENT & USE OF DISABILITY AS CONTROL

Beaten into bed rest as a means of restraint

Disability (muscular dystrophy) exploited to limit movement

Relocated to a lower floor you could not physically leave

Prevented from accessing stairs and outdoor space

Unable to escape or seek help due to physical incapacity

Environmental confinement without locks (functional imprisonment)

Category: Coercive control, unlawful restraint, abuse of a disabled child

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V. PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, TERROR & SCAPEGOATING

Regular verbal degradation (“freak”)

Blamed for parental divorce

Blamed for abuse and told it was your fault

Later told by sibling you “must have done something horrible”

Treated as the family scapegoat

Violence framed as deserved or corrective

Fear used deliberately to control behavior

Learned silence as survival

Category: Psychological abuse, coercive terror

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VI. PET & ATTACHMENT TRAUMA

Pets (cats/kittens) killed or forcibly removed

Selective deprivation: siblings allowed pets while yours were killed

No opportunity to say goodbye

Pets disappeared without explanation

Animals were primary sources of safety and companionship

You hid with dogs for protection

Relocation followed discovery of this coping behavior

Category: Psychological cruelty, attachment destruction

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VII. DESTRUCTION OF IDENTITY & CREATIVITY

Forced to gather and burn your artwork and designs

Forbidden from keeping art in your room

Prohibited from touching or decorating walls

Creative expression treated as punishable

Ownership of your own work denied

Category: Identity erasure, psychological abuse

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VIII. NEGLECT & MEDICAL ABUSE

Injuries ignored or minimized

Blamed for cost of medical treatment

Dental damage from violence and prematurity dismissed

Dentist misinformed and you blamed

Malnutrition and irregular meals

Disability-related needs neglected

Lack of protection despite visible injuries

Category: Severe neglect, medical neglect

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IX. INSTITUTIONAL & SOCIAL ABANDONMENT

Severe bullying and assault at school

Broken wrist, cracked ribs, head injury from peer assault

Police involvement where you were unable to speak safely

Mother’s presence prevented disclosure

School staff did not intervene

Name erased in school (“my sister’s brother”)

No adult advocate

Category: Institutional failure, social erasure

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X. ONGOING COERCION INTO ADULTHOOD

Physical abuse continued until father’s death

Violence used to maintain control even after you were grown

Emotional dependence weaponized

Manipulation framed as “friendship”

Category: Prolonged coercive abuse

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XI. AFTERMATH & LONG-TERM CONSEQUENCES

(Not abuse itself — effects of it)

Complex PTSD / developmental trauma

Dissociation and memory gaps

Daily or near-daily pani

c attacks

Chronic hypervigilance

Severe sleep disruption (minimal REM)

Chronic pain and exhaustion

Schizoaffective symptoms triggered by trauma

Difficulty accessing anger and self-identity

Persistent flashbacks