Separation

Hello all. I have made the hard decision to separate from my husband of 21 years. Thankfully, I will be able to move in with my 70 year old mother as I am unable to work and am disabled (will soon be applying for SSDI).

Although I will have some help, the many tasks (especially packing) and uncertain future feel overwhelming. That's on top of the emotional rollercoaster I'm going through and having to leave my cats with my husband. With my ME/CFS, the emotional aspect is already exhausting me.

Has anyone else, especially those disabled and/or with ME/CFS, gone through this kind of situation? I'm terrified but know it's the right decision as my home life isn't always safe and negatively affects me emotionally, mentally, and physically. I have waited it out as long as I could.

Any words of wisdom or support would be greatly appreciated. #Separation #Divorce #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Grief #moving

I have been married for 30 years and I have three adult children. Over the past 15 years, I've had one medical thing after another, leaving me with gradually increasing disability.

I can take care of myself. I have all my ADLs and I can walk, just slower. I require some accomodations around intimacy. There are no medical things he has to do for me except drive me sometimes.

A week ago, my husband told me he wants other things in his life and won't get them if he stays with me. I have been crying for a week. I don't know what to do. I feel like that's so cruel. One of the things he listed was kayaking. I can't figure out how to get into a kayak and he wants a partner who will kayak with him.

I'm 53 years old and my ego is crushed right now. I should be angry at him, but I'm feeling like I'm nothing instead.

There. I guess I needed to vent.

#Disability #Separation

So for the past 2 or 3 weeks my parents have been kind of fighting. I’m 25 and live in my own apt like 5 hrs away from them, plus the baby of the family. Also like the only one of my 2 other siblings that’s not married or even have kids( my brothers married and they have 2 kids, my sisters only married) so pretty sure that’s some reasons why I don’t hear much about what’s going on between them. But this is as far as I can remember the first time it’s been this bad, where basically I feel my moms just trying to avoid the situation she has. I know she has some depression and anxiety, but doesn’t get treated for it and she recently quit her job so now money for them is more of an issue.

Basically besides trying to stay positive about the situation, I don’t know what else I can do. I’ve never been in this type of situation, though it’s not really mine before and it’s hard some cause I’m the person who likes helping others most of the time. But I can’t do anything in this one and I’m kinda dealing with the dermatitis is eczema, and maybe the rashes are coming back because of stress anxiety of mine idk. Lots going on for me and it feels weird about my whole parents situation that I don’t really understand it all. Sorry it’s lengthy and probably confusing.

I started Journaling today. I exposed a lot of raw pain but am still hurting. I don't think the pain is going away. My wife is hurting me. She barely talks to me, is cold in attitude and now my daughter's, especially my youngest are acting distant to me. I'm getting where home is not a good place to be. Is that what my family wants? Why can't we just talk it out? That's what "normal" families do. Sit at the table and talk about it. Not let it linger. Just so hurt and don't know what gives. Thank you for reading. Blessings.

Today has been quite overwhelming and draining. My separation is getting to me, my kids and husband. It’s been highs and lows these past few weeks of being apart. I miss my kids on the days there not here and my husband went on a whole rant today through text message telling me everything that I pretty much knew but how he basically felt alone in this marriage on and off and how he entertained other females and honestly it just got exhausted going back and forth especially while I was working. I get it I wasn’t the wife that he needed all the time but I’m trying to separate the fact that that doesn’t mean that it was ok to sneak and entertain other women and not just tell me that hey it’s not working and I’m interested and other people instead he would constantly tell me that he wasn’t paying attention to any other females. My mind is really just jacked I guess but also it let me know that this separation is the best thing. I don’t know my brain is on overload with that bombarding of his venting and still getting acclaimated to being on my own and not being around my kids everyday and work. It’s really drained me today. I’m going to try really hard not to beat myself up because I feel terrible for not being the wife that I wish I could’ve been a better wife a better mom so I’m just trying to distract my mind from those thoughts trying to flood in. This is one of the hardest things that I’ve had to do and I wish I didn’t have to do it but it just got to be to unhealthy for the both of us but I guess every so often my mind thinks about trying to give our marriage another shot or if it’s even worth it. # # #Marriage #Separation #overwhelmed #Drained #Depression

So it’s been almost a month since I’ve been separated from my husband. We have 2 kids and we separate our time with them and honestly it sucks but I feel like I’m really finding myself peacefully outside of the marriage. It is scary and uncomfortable doing everything on my own financially with just one income and living alone when my kids are with him and sometimes my mind wanders. I don’t know it’s just so new with so many different feelings but more good feelings than bad. I’ve never lived on my own and never really had a lot of other serious relationships before I got married and had kids. I feel as if it was more so my comfort zone and security blanket and I was just really letting a lot of things slide that I shouldn’t have because of comfort, security and guilt because I caused so much damage from my shutting down and depressive episodes. I don’t know I guess I’m just having a moment right now and just needing to get my thoughts out to see if anyone can relate. This is just like stepping into a whole new world it’s scary but feels necessary and past due. I plan on finding a new and better therapist so I can try to talk things out and get some insight on how I need to move forward and just everything I’m feeling. Just needed to vent but thanks for taking the time out to read it.

I’m in my early 50s. My wife who is very sick wants to leave me. Tried my best to be with her and still deeply love her but for her our relationship is loveless.
I have no kids either and had sought early retirement. Don’t find my friends supportive and understanding. They all seem to be standoffish. My former colleagues and others for whom I worked seem to have no remembrance of my endeavors. Nobody reaches out even in the knowledge of my struggle, grief and loneliness. An overpowering feeling of uselessness is overwhelming me and I feel deeply suicidal.
#Loneliness #sickwife #Separation #SuicidalThoughts #Caregiving

I went into my doctors office tears rolling down my face, and said you didn’t fix me in time ... he wants a separation - probably a divorce 🥺 so many antidepressants, living so far out I had no friends or ruined them bc of alcohol. We were toxic these last couple years bc he though I cheated; I was just a drunk passing out. His nightmares won’t end, my explanations don’t matter, 20 years married ... 3 kids later and I’m nothing... He says I need to fine my happiness and I need to find myself ... how do I be happy when I cry daily and feel like such a failure. I’m taking my meds, I’m trying to sleep, trying to pack all on my own as he works out if town, the kids barely saw him ... why is it so hard? I want to get out of here! I don’t do small towns... I made awful memories here ... established a horrible rep. Sorrys aren’t enough... I was perfect my whole life and finally just couldn’t hold it all together anymore....
I haven’t drank in 3 weeks ... while he just keeps pounding them down.... I know my kids need me ... I just wanna get in my car and drive just keep driving.... I’m so lost, hurt, confused, sick.
I can’t eat or sleep ... I’ve lost 16 pounds... #Separation #Depression #PanicAttack #AlcoholAbuse