Sex and Relationships

Did you read this story in USA Today about mental health and dating? www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2022/01/12/datin...

The cliff notes version: One dating app (Hinge) found that 88% of singles prefer to date someone who goes to therapy. This got me thinking about what other health-related dealbreakers you have (which may be even more relevant since we’re now entering our third year of the pandemic).

💔 P.S. Your answer may be used in a story on The Mighty.

#DatingWithAChronicIllness #OnlineDating #Relationships #SexAndRelationships #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Disability #RareDisease #ChronicIllness #CheckInWithMe

You asked, an expert answered! 💡

🧠 Here’s what sex therapist and psychologist Dr. Shy Krug had to say:

“One of the common symptoms experienced in depression is anhedonia, or an inability to experience pleasure. This may manifest as decreased interest in previously enjoyed activities, like socializing or engaging in hobbies, but can also include decreased interest in sex.

Additionally, common symptoms of depression, like low energy, fatigue, poor sleep, and decreased appetite, can all influence one’s interest in engaging in a physical activity like sex. Some common antidepressants, like Prozac, Lexapro, and Zoloft, medications in SSRI class, may have side sexual effects.

Each person may react to medications differently, so if you have concerns about your sexual health, talk to your doctor.”

#letstalkdepression #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Sex #SexAndRelationships #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #CPTSD #PTSD

I'm diagnosed with #BipolarDisorder and I have been suffering for ages. I'm coming from a disfunctional family, and am still living with my toxic parents.
what I am, besides the genes, is due to my mother abusive behavior and the way that she treated me as her slave.

I moved out! I went to another country to start anew. where nobody knows me. but it didn't work. the amount of loneliness and lack of enough money makes the situation even worse; I remember that I stayed at home for two whole months, and I came back home with a very sever #PTSD I was suffering and suffering and suffering till I made my mind to adopt a puppy. I brought her home and guess what?? my mom forced me to give up on her!
meanwhile I #lost all my friends in an stupid quarrel over some stupid things which turns out to be the best excuse for them to show me their jealousy and hatred towards me since I am well educated (PhD holder) and they are not!!

through out this time I reached out for professional help! my psychiatrist just gave me loads and loads of drungs and my psychologist who was a psychopath himself!! fell for me. the result: well I committed suicide and opened my eyes in psychiatric ward!

I've tried to find love, and I have done my best to hide my moods. I've gone through so many relationship therapies, read so many articles, listen to so many podcasts to behave maturely on my relationships. in this last year I'd met 5-6 men but in vain! one was behaving so brutally that I have to cut it right on the spot! (even he himself admitted that he was being brutal for nothing), most of them were just and just looking for sex (one night stands, while pretending they want real relationships) and the last one! he keeps saying that he do like me, he enjoys spending time with me but since he is super busy he cannot! etc. and it's been a month and a half that he has not even asked me out while I can see his stories on instagram that he is out and having fun.

so all these things make me realise one thing: nobody wants me. nobody is ever willing to stand by me. nobody cares at all. believe me people know me for my kindness and understanding. but.....

I keep wanting to message my new man friend..
I know if I want a healthy relationship in the future I need to maintain my own space and the trust to let him have his!
I don't want to come on strong or scare him off, infact I don't want to be awake at 1am wondering about all the possibilities..

I've got enough diagnosis's I could blame that on.. #BipolarDepression #CPTSD #BDD #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors #Survivor

But I'm choosing to consciously change my behaviour patterns, I don't want to engage in negitive, codependent or unhealthy relationships.. as well as Knowing my self worth that also means being aware of my actions when I'm starting a possible new relationship dynamic and challenging the bits I know are unhealthy.. like my need for approval, my want to have the person I'm starting to care about to dote on me or be in constant contact with me..

These are My issues and ones I don't want to carry forward into my new relationships, so I'm viewing this each emotion as it arises and not giving in to old habits of acting clingy or just validating my day via if someone connected me or not!

I'm just buzzing to be building a new connection with someone who shares my passions for nature, animal welfare, wild swimming and foraging..
These are the things I want to be doing in my new life in the countryside!
it's awesome to think I might build a relationship with someone that is not based on just empathy or shared trauma but actually on shared passions in life!

In the last 9 months since being raped, ive been on my own and I've Grown so so much!
I've been single for long periods before but I was always having casual sexual relationships, this was the first time I truly Only focused on my own energy and didn't search out a physical connection with anyone at all for nearly a year..

Partly to protect myself but the knock on effect has been Amazing and I didn't really know it until I started making a new bond with someone and observed all the differences in the way I deal with the whole experience!
also that I feel worthy of someone who truly cares about my past trauma, mental well-being, shares my passions and wants to learn about me in aid to better be able to take care of me not to manipulate me.

Massive positive changes and a greater ability to gage what is healthy in starting relationships! Yayyy!
Time working on self care and having a therapist to talk tob had a huge positive impact!! ☺️

#Fibromyaliga #CPTSD #BipolarDisorder #Survivor #childhoodtrama #Relationships #SexAndRelationships #SexAndBipolar #movingforward #Hope #copingskills

Sex is a touchy topic for many reasons, be it past trauma, religious beliefs, moral ideologies, or LGBTQ... preferences. Guess what, though? I’m going to take that big, bad, 3-letter word out of hiding, today. Oh, and it’s fine to disagree with me, because I honestly don’t know 100% how I feel about it, either. I’m just sick of hiding.

I was raised to believe that any type of sexual encounter outside of marriage (or a mutually committed relationship with the view of “forever”) is sinful, and frankly, I still lean towards that belief. However, I’m just going to be real, here, and admit that I haven’t behaved according to my beliefs in many ways.

In my very early adulthood, I didn’t believe that I was good enough for any “decent, Christian man” so I gave myself away to men who cared for me, at least a little, but didn’t love me or share most (if any) of my beliefs. I had this stupid, naïve notion that if they got me pregnant, it would magically make them committed to me and eventually actually love me. I know, I know: it was beyond naïve and incredibly stupid. Thankfully, that never happened, and miraculously, I met a man who shared my beliefs, and fell madly in love with me, and vis versa. We got married and lived happily ever after, the end...right?

Well, more or less. We’ve been married for 10 years, have 3 kids (8, 6, & 4), and are still madly in love, but loving someone doesn’t mean “happily ever after”. Unfortunately, loving someone and having 3 kids in 4 years, doesn’t even mean having a healthy sex life. It just meant we sucked at using condoms appropriately. (Ie: I hated the damn things!)

So, surprise, surprise: having babies didn’t magically improve my feelings of self-worth. Losing 3 of them in the first few weeks of pregnancy sure didn’t help, either. Having a baby who couldn’t be consoled for half the day for his first several months of life? Yeah, that was a killer. One thing’s for sure, those little blessings are definite cock-blockers, but we didn’t even need that to have a messed up sex life.

Media often portrays males as the ones with the overactive sex drive, and it’s often blown off as no big deal. However, when females have a sex drive, we’re labeled as promiscuous, slutty, etc. How is a woman supposed to feel when the roles between her and her partner are reversed? I, for one, felt unattractive, and shameful, but I couldn’t admit that to my husband, because I’d been raised not to talk about things like that. NOT HEALTHY!! I still struggle to talk to him about it, though we’ve tried over the years. He’s always told me how beautiful I am, and he kisses me all the damn time. I know for certain that he loves me more than anything. But the infrequent sex has made me feel broken in some way.

Part 2- The Fallout....

#SexAndRelationships #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder