This cat in the image gives me the face I make when my husband sees me reaching for something to put in the cart and tells me to put it back. I feel like I am so wrong or about to do something that will #hurt me. When things are #Wrong or #IAmStruggling it doesn't feel like I have #power . I feel #powerless .
#shoppingaddiction is real. My mother has it worse than me right now, whereas I have people telling me "No!" And "Put it Back!" Holding me accountable. It still feels hurtful.
I no longer go to stores just to "Look." I cannot go to a store just to "Look around." Especially an issue if I see something and cannot buy it. We are all experiencing some kind of #financial issues. #Medicine is so dang expensive, and that often causes us to fall into a pit. I do not know what to do, but I have been trying things other than talk #Therapy .
I decided to click online "Add to Cart" or "Add to Wishlist." This is common for websites like Amazon or Bath & Body Works. Especially now that the Christmas season is here.. I see things I want to #Buy for other people, or things I want for the #home or for #Myself . It feels #bad .
Have you experienced #shoppingaddiction ?
If so, what do you do?
I need #Advice .
Today's my birthday, and it's not going at all how I planned. I got up later than planned, because my boyfriend "lost track of time"; I was going to treat myself while at the same time challenging myself by traveling to a store I've been wanting to go to for a long time that's further away than I've driven by myself since I was young, but my boyfriend informed me upon waking yesterday that he has serious financial issues and we'll be super tight until he gets paid next Friday, but we'll still be tight; nevertheless, I still overspent, and feel like a pos; I got to dinner late, and had to wait and use up some gas, looking for a parking space; things just keep going wrong; and I'm just stupid! What's wrong with me?
I was in bit of a mood today. I decide to wear all black and forgo the makeup. Not sure why but as soon as I hit the bank and Walmart my mood was gone.😆😂 Now just tired and wanting to have a friend to share with but they always busy. So i am going to cook for my daughter her dinner and read a good book. How 🤔 are all of you? How do you cope with these moods?
When I’m stressed, I want to shop.
When I’m sad or lonely, I want to shop.
When I’m bored, I want to shop.
When I’m feeling to confined at home, I want to shop.
I sometimes shop for things that I don’t need. I shop for things that I currently don’t afford, like I need to wait for a week before I can afford it so I borrow money so I can shop and buy it now.
Of course I pay for the owed money on the agreed date.
I love to shop, sometimes, I buy stuff that are a little expensive that I lie about their prices to my family. Or I pretend that it’s a gift from someone, which is a bit weird with its price tag.
I hide receipts to make sure that they won’t see it.
We’re on lockdown and I am starting to spend again.
This time last year, I started doing the same.
I don’t know if this is normal or not.
Food shopping today was horrendous. It's rammed. everyone is on one agenda buy food for themselves and fuck anyone else. Shoppers are being ignorant, rude and hostile. I get to the cashier with half a basket, I Just wanted to leave. I said hello. She looked me straight in the eye and ignored me. I had enough bags. I had cash. She threw the shopping at me so fast that two items fell on the floor and I could not keep up with her so there was a back log. She said do you mind we've got other customers. I said I appreciate that you don't like to work on a Sunday, and I can appreciate that these are challenging times for you and your team. But I cannot appreciate your bad manners or ignorance. I am going to pack my shopping away into my bags and pay for my purchases right here. So I did. Calmly and unhurried. Paid for my purchases and left. When I got outside. I ripped the mask off and started hyperventilating. Shaking. Sweating. nearly in tears. Anxiety. Frustration. Panic. Anger... Any way, my first thought was I need medication. But I don't. I need to ride the wave and realised what I had just achieved..... Freedom... Comes in many ways... Mine came by buying my own dinner and getting home to enjoy it . ..and no I've not taken any medication or recreational drugs... Xxx
**Edit** Xx. It's an awful time and my heart breaks for "Joe Smith," working, family, house, not alot to show accept he keeps his head down and gets on with it . Doesn't bother anyone. Likes it that way .... People like those are targeted... Jobs, Family divided, no education, no benefits as such, can't afford basics but doesn't ask for charity and not flagged up (safeguarding) cus no service using history, government campaigning, propaganda, and opinions of others, Friends, Facebook, news, entertainment... What have you got left? .. I'm Just getting back to "society" "reality" after a very lonnnggg time, isolation, darkness, headspace, I'm aquatinted and going to the shop like that is an achievement. But not for someone who is not aquatinted or experienced any of the "challenges" the government are propping up or killing off. ...I can imagine they must be terrified... Xx #Thoughts #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #anxious #Smallsuccess #COVID #Shopping #iam1in10 ##AddictionRecovery #Recovery #MentalHealth #suicidelossurvivors #overdoseloss #Todaywasawin