shoppingaddiction

Hello Everyone.
It's approaching that time of year where autumn brings beautiful leaves falling. 🍂 🍁

But of course..... I live in Florida. Fake leaves, dropping the air conditioner inside the house, lighting an apple candle are the main ways I make it feel like autumn. I work in a store that started placing Halloween 👻🎃 items out in August. It made me confused. I discovered that Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom "Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party" and also Universal Orlando's "Halloween Horror Nights" began in late August!

I truly believe that when stores place items out for a season so early, they do not help someone like myself mentally. It makes the time or space existing at the end of the year seem as if it happens to pass so quickly. The reality is true that time is an illusion, something man made. Stores put items out so that people can begin shopping for their items to decorate homes. However, I learned something... My home will NEVER look like a catalog or appear decorated like that of a Model Home for people to walk through for sale.

These decorations are sometimes cheap, and take up space. I never paid much attention to consumerism, but in the past few years I have! Some items are made to be used for only about a year, or cost so much money ($25 for a set of 3 mini Hello Kitty hand towels). It makes me realize that consumerism has taken control of my #AddictionToShopping and also pressed me into thinking I had to "keep up with the jones' family" to feel like I am in control somehow.

I learned... Stop buying Crap that will Fall Apart just because it's Fall. Do not buy Christmas items that are so decorative that the foam of the base that supports the item will break easily. Find a little thing that matters if anything is purchased. Something that has a sense of meaning that can sum up that whole season. Christmas? I have a small ornament that consists of a tree inside of a mason looking jar with fake snow that says "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" that is about 4 inches tall. It reminds me that you can have yourself a merry little holiday without going broke.

I hate #consumerism so much. It is what contributed to my #shoppingaddiction and has ruled my home of clutter...

I'm just going to drink my coffee and breathe today.

This cat in the image gives me the face I make when my husband sees me reaching for something to put in the cart and tells me to put it back. I feel like I am so wrong or about to do something that will #hurt me. When things are #Wrong or #IAmStruggling it doesn't feel like I have #power . I feel #powerless .

#shoppingaddiction is real. My mother has it worse than me right now, whereas I have people telling me "No!" And "Put it Back!" Holding me accountable. It still feels hurtful.

I no longer go to stores just to "Look." I cannot go to a store just to "Look around." Especially an issue if I see something and cannot buy it. We are all experiencing some kind of #financial issues. #Medicine is so dang expensive, and that often causes us to fall into a pit. I do not know what to do, but I have been trying things other than talk #Therapy .

I decided to click online "Add to Cart" or "Add to Wishlist." This is common for websites like Amazon or Bath & Body Works. Especially now that the Christmas season is here.. I see things I want to #Buy for other people, or things I want for the #home or for #Myself . It feels #bad .

Have you experienced #shoppingaddiction ?

If so, what do you do?
🛒🛍️💳💰💵💸

I need #Advice .

How do I put into words what it is that I am feeling right now? I am confused and wishing I could be just neutral.

I went shopping a little while ago, and on my way home my husband called me. He told me I should not have went shopping and spent money. I bought him some things for father's day and when I mentioned I got him some things, he became upset. It is because I don't have a job. He was upset with me about us having one income and going shopping.

He told me to not put up roadblocks into me finding a job, or doing what it is that I want to do. Professionalism is not something that comes easy for me, and with my mental health issues it's harder than that of a person without them. It is not an excuse to stay where I am, but it does not make it as easy as someone else's level of difficulty. I know everyone experiences difficulties. I swear it will be OK. I just have to find something that I love to do and go for it.

Today is a day of mixed emotions. It's driving me nuts... But it's something that I have to deal with. I am hoping for a better tomorrow since today is a Mix of a Mess and a Blessing.

Take Care.

#Love #Trying #iamhere #sad #happy #MixedMood #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #jobless #lonely #notalone #up &Down #PanicAttack #PanicDisorder #Crazy #Wild #calm #confused #shoppingaddiction #Mourning #grieving #Grief #FathersDay #dowhatyoulove #lovewhatyoudo #Loveislove #PrideMonth #Trying #doing